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Jokes about Drama teachers

Discussion in 'Drama and performing arts' started by Retro Bates, May 27, 2007.

  1. Know any? I'd like to hear them.
     
  2. Know any? I'd like to hear them.
     
  3. no... just the fact that some people think that Drama teachers are a joke! ha ha
     
  4. teachur

    teachur New commenter

    I'mn sure there must be a Drama teacher light bulb joke!
     
  5. Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One.... if he can find it.

    Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One; the actor holds the light bulb, and the world revolves around the actor...

    Q: How many straight actors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them.

    Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 3...no, make it 4... on second thought 3... make it 5 just to be safe.

    Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Hmmmmmm.... Light bulb.... Allow me to ponder the changing of the bulb.

    Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Sorry a new lamp isn't in the budget"

    Q: How many lighting designers does is take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Its a carefully orchestrated blackout.

    Q: How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: I DON'T CARE- JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

    Q: How many Production Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Just one, WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF, DAMMIT?!?!

    Q: How many stagehands does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. That's an electrician's job.

    Q: How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. If it worked once, they aren't going to play with it.

    Q: How many Union Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Twenty five and a minimum of four hours, you got a fu**ing problem with that?

    Q: How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: LAMP!!! It's called a LAMP, you idiot!

    Q: How many stage managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: It's on my list...it's on my list...

    Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Does it have to be a light bulb? Why can't it be a candle?

    Q: How many sound guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None, they'll just fix it in the mix.

    Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 5--one to screw in the bulb, and four to say how much better they could have done it.

    Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Doesn't the stage manager do that?

    Q: How many radical feminist performance artists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five. One to do it, and four to host a panel discussion of the political, social, and sexual ramifications of the lamp-changing.
    email address: webmaster at tabsareforflying.co.uk
     
  6. teacha

    teacha Occasional commenter

    A science graduate asks, "Why does it work?"

    An engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?"

    The business graduate asks, "How much will it cost?"

    A drama graduate asks, "Do you want fries with that?"



     
  7. Thats the best so far, Teacha.

     
  8. teachur

    teachur New commenter

    FAB!!!!

    Great stuff from teacha and Sisi!

    Oh god, look at the time! Am i enjoying half term too much???

    Teeheehee!
     
  9. Theatrical Logic

    In is down, down is front
    Out is up, up is back
    Off is out, on is in
    And of course-
    Left is right and right is left
    A drop shouldn't and a
    Block and fall does neither
    A prop doesn't
    Tripping is OK
    A running crew rarely gets anywhere
    A purchase line buys you nothing
    A trap will not catch anything
    Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)
    And a green room, thank god, usually isn't
    Now that you're fully versed in Theatrical terms,
    Break a leg.
    But not really.

     
  10. not really about drama teachers but I thought you would like these:

    An old stage manager arrived at the Pearly Gates.
    As a reward for years of patience, discretion,
    and endeavor, St. Peter granted him a single
    wish.

    "I've never seen a perfect blackout - can that be
    arranged?" he asked.

    St. Peter snapped his fingers, and the darkness
    descended. There was not a hint of spill from
    worklights or prompt corner. There was total
    silence, not a whisper, not a footstep, not a pin
    drop - just complete silence and total darkness.
    It lasted 18 seconds.

    When the lights came up again, St. Peter was gone
    and the Pearly Gates had been struck.

    *******************************************

    An actress, a costumer and a stage manager found
    an old bottle in a pile of junk backstage. The
    actress rubbed it against her sleeve, and ****! A
    genie appeared.

    "You got me fair and square," the genie said. "So
    you each get one wish."

    "I want a world tour in a starring role," the
    actress declared.

    "Granted," said the genie, and ****! The actress
    was off on her tour.

    "I want a yacht and unlimited funds to cruise the
    exotic ports of the world," wished the costumer.

    "Granted," said the genie, and ****! The costumer
    was off on his cruise.

    The stage manager rubbed his chin, thought for a
    minute and said, "I want them back after lunch."

    ************************************************

     
  11. Difference between a Drama lesson and an English lesson?

    In Drama the kids are meant to be running around screaming.

    (circa 1985)
     
  12. Whats the worst thing about being a drama teacher?






    Explaining to your parents that you are gay.
     
  13. Gary Glitter will be doing a Drama PGCE when he is released from jail.

    He heard that if successful he will get paid to play with children.
     

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