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Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Duke of York, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    A bird I spent the night with yesterday got out of her pram with me when she saw me stacking the washing powder shelves in Asda today.

    "You told me you you were a daredevil pilot," she said.
    "No," I answered, " I told you I was part of an Ariel display team."

    What's up with women these days? I'd have thought she'd have have been proud of me for knocking off half a dozen packets of it on her behalf.
     
  2. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Man goes into a fast food restaurant and says "I'd like a crocodile burger please, and make it snappy."
     
  3. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    My pet frog is depressed

    I caught him trying to Kermit suicide
     
    Dragonlady30 and monicabilongame like this.
  4. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    how did you do that spoiler thing?
     
  5. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    @monicabilongame

    In your reply box click here

    upload_2015-11-12_13-44-51.png

    Select spoiler from the drop down list

    upload_2015-11-12_13-45-47.png

    Type in what you want to appear on the spoiler bar and click Continue

    upload_2015-11-12_13-47-18.png

    This will appear in your reply box
    upload_2015-11-12_13-51-19.png
    Type your hidden message between the two brackets
    upload_2015-11-12_13-53-51.png

    Then click Post Reply

    Did you get it Monica?
     
  6. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Wicked. Thanks :)
     
  7. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Dragonlady30 likes this.
  8. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    Arrrrggghhhh, a man's just assaulted me with cream, butter, cheese and milk

    How dairy
     
  9. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Help! I am trying to find a joke in the old Joke of the day thread, a silly joke about a wonky donkey. Does anyone have it in their hotlist, perchance? Pretty please. I did a search by title, but many old threads have become "unnamed threads".....:(
     
  10. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    @rosievoice The thread was in Opinion and so has been hidden away. A Google search revealed a limited amount of information - but when I clicked the links it just goes to the home page of the new site.

    upload_2015-12-3_23-41-15.png

    upload_2015-12-3_23-40-8.png
     
  11. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

  12. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Thank you Marlin, you wonderful lady ! Xxxxx:):D
     
  13. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    @rosievoice

    Was there enough from those Google snapshots for you to get what you wanted?
     
  14. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    There's a song about it.
     
  15. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    A lawyer called a wealthy tycoon and said to him "I have some good news and I have some bad news for you."

    The tycoon replied, "I've had an awful day. Let's hear the good news first."

    The lawyer continued, "Well, your wife invested £5,000 in two pictures this week that she believes are worth a minimum of £2 to £3 million."

    The tycoon replied enthusiastically, "Brilliant! My wife is so astute! You've just made my day! Now what's the bad news?"

    The lawyer answered, "The pictures are of you with your new young secretary."
     

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