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It's taken over my life.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by towertop2, May 7, 2012.

  1. Over the past few years teaching has totally taken over my life.At the present time I have absolutely no friends and no social life. During holidays and weekends I see and hear from no one (apart from my immediate family) go nowhere and do nothing apart from school work. I am now beginning to lose interest and take no pleasure in normal everyday things except family activities (meals out etc). What worries me most is that it doesn't bother me as much as it should . Money is also tight and this causes anxiety and means that family meals etc are restricted . I just want to feel interested and excited about things again. Any suggestions? Anyone in the same boat?
     
  2. Over the past few years teaching has totally taken over my life.At the present time I have absolutely no friends and no social life. During holidays and weekends I see and hear from no one (apart from my immediate family) go nowhere and do nothing apart from school work. I am now beginning to lose interest and take no pleasure in normal everyday things except family activities (meals out etc). What worries me most is that it doesn't bother me as much as it should . Money is also tight and this causes anxiety and means that family meals etc are restricted . I just want to feel interested and excited about things again. Any suggestions? Anyone in the same boat?
     
  3. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Didn't want to read and run - have you any other interests that you could join a group to do? (sorry about he clumsy sentence!!) All work and no play makes towertop2 a dull boy/girl. xxx
     
  4. msmuse

    msmuse New commenter

    Yep. Me.
    Until recently, I was supplying and therefore working part-time. I began to go out more, started going to the gym and playing badminton and it was great fun. Now I am back working full time and I am you!
    Whilst I am enjoying full-time pay, I am NOT enjoying the full-time life. I am too tired to go do all the things I was starting to re-discover [​IMG] I really don't know what the answer is. Unless you live in the SW, and we could meet up and sort each other out?!! I think I need to re-assess teaching as a career to be honest.
     
  5. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    You sound quite scarily like me. Where do you live?
     
  6. Me too! I'm not too bothered aboutthe lack of a social life, I have never been particularly people oriented.
    But my hobbies have suffered and I seem to work, eat and sleep each and every day!
     
  7. Ha, I was just about to come on and post a similar rant. I hate the lifestyle!! I like the classroom time and I love the creativity of preparing interesting and engaging lessons, but I have just spent the whole bank holiday weekend in the house marking and writing reports. I resent it so much. I teach in a good private school and get a decent enough wage, but I would rather take a pay cut and have some form of life. As a little girl I couldn't wait to get a full time job and get myself a horse - now I am giving up on my one passion as I simply don't have the time for it. For me it seems that one set of books get marked and handed back, just for them to come back in again a few days later. I have tried everything to help myself out - giving less written prep etc, but it's still the same - I need to mark 2 sets of books a night, including at the weekends to keep up with it all. Demanding parents don't help - neither does having to write reports three times a year for all year groups.

    I hate it but I don't know what else to do. :(

    And yeah - my non-teacher friends cannot understand why I am so tired all the time and why I don't drink alcohol any more - too tired to enjoy it, too busy to have the hangover!
     
  8. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I have been exactly the same way. Full time was too much.
    Can you not go P/T? 4 days work a week gives you one less day to recover from and an extra day to recover within! Makes the world of difference to evergy levels.
     
  9. cissy3

    cissy3 Star commenter

    Even part-time was too much for me! All low ability, lower school etc. Some schools really take the mick when it comes to the way they 'use' PT staff.
    I have had two 0.5 jobs in the past, and in both I was teaching as many pupils in two and a half days, as the other staff were in five days. (Having said that, I have also had two 'jobshares' which were wonderful.)
    I now work FT out of teaching, and have much more of my life back. (Sadly it is only a temporary job)
    I feel so sorry for young teachers today. The workload has become a joke. So much of it not necessary IMO, or the formulation of what used to be the blindingly obvious and taken as read, into some 'initiative' which frankenstein-like, takes on a life of its own.

    (Sorry, starting to rant. Best wishes OP)


     
  10. Kartoshka

    Kartoshka Established commenter

    This thread is a disappointing read! I am an NQT who does nothing apart from work, and was riding on the hope of things improving once I get more experienced :(
     
  11. spaeaking as one who's been there, this sounds more like mild depression than over work
     
  12. bristolmover

    bristolmover New commenter

    Please don't let it take over your life. It is your choice. Set yourself a curfew, and there should be no work after this time (mine is 6.30pm)... then if you ever get an offer to go out you can. You need to let people know how you feel so they can help you break out of the cycle. You will soon find you get suggestions of places to go and people to see. It's very important to be interested in your own life.
     
  13. Blimey, I recognised myself in the OP's post. Totally committed/dedicated to the job and social life dwindled to nothing and like you, I'm not as bothered as I should be!
     
  14. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    The problem is a common one due to the steady pressure the modern system exerts on all teachers who seek to do a good job.
    Even I, with over 30 years experience, took on a full time post for a while and it proved to much as i ended up with high blood pressure and my wife worrying i was about to flip.So i was glad when they no longer needed me as i spent far to long working for the class and school to meet the stds rather then just teaching.
    I agree with Bristol mover that you do have to try and make time for yourself...unfortunately the public thnks we are on a cushy number, the goverment thinks we dont work hard enough, ofsted feels we can teach better and heads seek to prove they can make their schools into some form of super school////not counting the cost of that pressure on its staff till they break down and go sick..and then its get rid as there are others waiting in the line!
    Im so sorry for all modern teachers today .life was so much easier 30 years ago, we laughed we talked,we played and we partied....and we also worked....but many left work at 5 and didnt worry about it till they walkedin the door. Teaching has always been a stress profession and that is recognised by doctors and insurance companies....and it will get worse yet as politicians seek to use us as a scapegoat for children not achieving ina society which basically seems to regard education as unimportant.
    Chin up folks if you can......and lots of hugs to you all xx
     
  15. Captain Obvious

    Captain Obvious New commenter

    I rarely take work home with me and I've never been much of a people person. I spend a lot of time doing fairly passive indoor activities. I get outonce, sometimes twice a week.
    It's not good, but I'm equally terrible in large groups.
    I'm a high functioning hermit >.>
     
  16. If I could afford to teach part time I'd do it in a minute. What gets me is feeling SO tired during the working week. Most nights (bar Wednesdays and Thursdays when I engage in singing related hobbies) I'm in bed between 9.00-9.30. My alarm goes off at 6am, I get up at 6.15. Today, despite having a cold, I am yet again loving feeling 'normal' in that I'm not absolutely knackered! Friends have tried to argue that working in an office 10 hours a day is just as tiring, but I have had office jobs and none of them compare to the tiredness I get with teaching!
     
  17. It is doable, and manageable, but I think it depends quite heavily on the school you work in and its expectations.
    I am full time, ICT Coord and KS1 Coord and have just about managed to sort my work-life balance out. I work my bottom of during the day, squeeze little jobs in to every minute spent at work, do things as soon as I possibly can so they don't hang over me and have virtual post-it notes all over my laptop desktop that I take pleasure in closing once I complete!
    Planning doesn't take me too long - Literacy/Topic/Phonics I plan in big chunks during the holidays - I pretty much know where my planning will go and know my children very well so little needs changing. Maths I plan the bare bones and objectives, then each day I plan/resource activities that evening. Every evening I spend 30mins-1 hour making sure I have everything I need for the next day on my laptop infront of the TV, then in the morning I print/photocopy my resource for the whole day.
    I wont deny that I find school very hard to get out of my head, and it's not a healthy habit, BUT I really do look forward to a bottle of wine and some nice food on a Friday night and that seems to clear my mind of school for the weekend. I very rarely do much work at the weekend, I focus all my efforts and energies during the week making sure I am organised and prepared and leave my weekend free.
    I dont see my friends as often as I'd like but often plan BBQs etc and get everyone together in the holidays - it gives me something to look forward to. I do have a boyfriend whom I live with so that helps and keeps me grounded, and we try to get out at the weekends even if it's just a little walk around or trip to a garden centre!
    My cats also keep me sane and I feel my stress physically slipping away when I give them a cuddle when I get home.
    When you say you have no friends, where did they go? Are they still around but you just do not have time to see them? My answer would be to make time. If you physically can't, look for a job elsewhere.
    If you don't have any friends force yourself to join a club or group - some form of craft, zumba, slimming world, anyway to meet people. Join chatrooms online just for half an hours social interaction each night!
     
  18. Thanks for all the supportive posts. It's good to know I a not alone in feeling like this but a shame that other teachers feel so bad. I guess I do just need to get myself out there and do something about it. Re having no friends- yes they just drifted as I dont have the energy to see them any more. So, my fault I guess. I also thought that I could have mild depression and really the only person that can help me is me!
     
  19. msmuse

    msmuse New commenter

    Yes, I am thinking P/T would be much better, but finding any type of teaching position is so difficult, let alone a P/T one. Where I am P/T is rare unfortunately.
     
  20. I totally sympathise and recognise the pattern all too well. Judging from the other replies this is a bit of an epidemic, and it worries me not only for the health of teachers but for the kids we teach too. As well as drumming facts, strategies and knowledge into young minds, we should be modelling an overall enthusiasm for life and the big wide world: I genuinely think this is a massive part of our responsibility. If we arrive at work jaded and frustrated, some of that will rub off on the kids. For that reason alone you should take it as a professional responsibility to ensure that you're getting enough time to enjoy non-teaching related activities and to keep engaged with the world around you.
    One of my biggest time-saving strategies is to co-opt my class into organising, planning and marking as much as possible. Need a new maths resource? Get the pupils to brainstorm it and then make it (with guidance, of course). Six pages each of textbook to mark? Swap jotters and get them to mark each others'. This is valuable for the pupils as well - it makes them active participants in the workings of the class.
    Some things (often the least rewarding ones - I'm thinking reports here) can't work like that, and I guess we just have to grin and bear them. I've half promised myself that if I really can't see the point in the things that are taking up most of my time, I will switch professions. Kids don't need unhappy teachers.
    Good luck - excellent thread, and something that most of us probably need to address!
     

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