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It's over!!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by disconic, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. disconic

    disconic New commenter

    Tonight after 4 and a half year my boyfriend and myself have split up. Im heart broken! I wish I could hate him but I cant he's my best friend and I am going to miss him like mad. I dont want to go into details but the split it for the best and deep down I know that. My question is how long willit be till the pain goes away?
     
  2. disconic

    disconic New commenter

    Tonight after 4 and a half year my boyfriend and myself have split up. Im heart broken! I wish I could hate him but I cant he's my best friend and I am going to miss him like mad. I dont want to go into details but the split it for the best and deep down I know that. My question is how long willit be till the pain goes away?
     
  3. DaisysLot

    DaisysLot Senior commenter

    Work on the premise of 6. Survive the next 6 days - which may involve hiding in your bed for most of it.... Then move to 6 weeks - things will be tough through these weeks but the tears should stop. Then rebuild yourself over the next 6 months. After that you may not be ready for another relationship, but you should be over the achey heartbreak :)
     
  4. Daisy is right. I broke up with my boyfriend (of 3 years) about 6 months ago and that is exactly what happened - hid and cried for 6 days, followed by a tough 6 weeks, and now, 6 months later, I'm doing okay. It's been tough, but I'm getting there.
    At the moment every thing will be uttery bewildering, but just do what is right for you.
    (((hugs)))
     
  5. Well from personal experience it took me about 6 months to get over one ex (whom I was also with for 4 and a half years) and then about another 6 months before I was truly ready fror another proper relationship.
    Almost imemdiately I went out and bought this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Used-Miss-Him-But-Improving-ebook/dp/B0047T747W/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312455249&sr=1-2 and it REALLY helped me deal with the emotions I was feeling. It's a bit "American" in its approach but uses humour and it's very reassuring. I would recommend it wholeheartedly.
    I suggest you allow a little time to wallow and play sad music and watch weepy films and the like, ideally with company, and then in a couple of days get yourself out there living again. The pain won't go but you can distract yourself from it and then as every day goes past you can heal.

    You will come through it lovely - but it does take time. x

     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    It took me three years.
     
  7. I would imagine it depends on lots of things - how long you were together, what the relationships was like, how much you saw of them when you were together, was it an mutual break up, are you staying in touch... It's very hard to put a time limit on something so personal. I split up from the last Mr P in September last year, was quite tearful for a few days but very quickly got over it. By October I was feeling ready to dabble in dating - mind you this WAS a disaster and I scurried back into hiding for a bit!! HOWEVER, although we were together six years we didn't have a good relationship, I hardly ever saw him, it was MY choice to break up (although I did still love him!) and we stayed in touch for a while - but then he disappeared (back to the woman he was with before me if suspicions are right!!) So, all in all it was the best thing to do. As soon as I had made my decision it felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders and now I am happier and more content than I have been in a long time! But, as Nutella has said - it CAN take an awfully long time. I wish you all the best though. The only advice I can give is as soon as you feel ready get out and make a busy life for yourself. Relish your independence and have fun!! VP xxx
     
  8. Well you have accepted that it is the way it is. So just remember all the good times with nostalgia and accept that it is past and cannot and would not be the same again if you were to try.
    Get rid of all means of contact such as email addresses, mobile number so you cannot, in a moment of weakness make contact. Giving each of you the chance to move on.
    But to repeat myself, enjoy remembering the happy moments in a positive way.
    I would say at least six months before you spend a day without thinking about him.
     
  9. I'd like to know the answer to this too. I've just split up with my partner of 9 years. Completely out of the blue for me and without a reason "it's for the best" (nobody else involved).
    I can't explain the loneliness i feel. Just the little things of not texting him when something good/bad has happened in my day. I've just passed the first year of uni with distinction and on the day i should have been elated but i just felt an overwhelming amount of sadness and loneliness because all i really wanted to do was text him all about it.
    Im so hurt and confused. I'm just going through the motions of changing all the bills over and then i will move out, leaving my beloved pooch behind [​IMG] Hopefully then the 'healing' process will begin.
    Sorry I've hijacked your post [​IMG]
    x
     
  10. I'm so sorry disconic.
    A similar thing happened to me 2 years ago when I split with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. I was the same as you, even though I knew it was the right thing it hurt like hell. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it really is all about time. And you have to use that time to work through the pain so that you come out stronger at the end of it.
    One day you will realise that you haven't thought about him for 10 minutes. That was a wow moment for me! Then it will be an hour, then a whole day!
    You will get there - trust me! Until then, rely on your friends. They will want to be there for you x
     

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