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It's over

Discussion in 'NQTs and new teachers' started by helenemdee, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. helenemdee

    helenemdee Occasional commenter

    The conclusion to my sorry tale as detailed in previous posts is, it's over. I applied for early release last Tuesday and the head said I was making a good decision - but then, I think she wanted me out anyway. I gave written notice and left last Thursday. I received an awful lot of support from various members of staff who acknowledged I'd worked really hard and it shouldn't have got that far and I was really grateful because I was a mess by home time.
    I feel so mixed up. I know I did the right thing for me, but that's it - I don't feel good or positive in any way shape or form about it. I messed it up. I'm trying to believe that that was just the wrong school for me and I will be fine in a different school given another chance - but I haven't been given that other chance yet, and I'm scared about the money situation and the job market and whether I'll actually be able to get something else given tha I left the last job - the thing is, I had to do that cos it would have been more damaging to my career if I'd stayed and failed the term. I'mjust so depressed cos that was my chance and I messed it up and who knows when I'll get another. I'm applying to supply agencies and considering doing voluntary work till I get new CRBs done (if I can't do supply before getting cleared CRBs) so that's something to focus on, but this business has really knocked me. My self-esteem's down on the floor somewhere and I can't imagine feeling better until I pick up something more permanent or get the chance to prove myself. All my friends from my uni course are happy and settled in successful jobs and I'm the only one in my cohort who seems to have had trouble and I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to any more. I feel like a small fish cut off from others in a big scary sea.
    I wonder if Bexie and any others who have experienced my sort of difficulties can possibly reply and let me know how they are coping and what action they are taking to resolve things? I need to find the belief that there is a future ahead for me.
    Helen x

  2. Hi helenemdee, there's not much in the way of advice I can give you but I wanted to reply to tell you that the way you have been treated is beyond disgraceful. Your ex HT just must have been the perfect teacher from the moment she first stepped into the classroom as she clearly cannot conceive of the difficulties and stresses that afflict normal NQT's. Mine was horrendous and whilst I had support and wasn't going to fail (thankfully all my classes weren't like my Y11's - certain 'characters' were removed on occasions but invariably it went back to the way it was previously, in fact there were only 4 decent kids and 20-odd awful ones) it wasn't brilliant support. I though I was on my own and I am very surprised on reading this forum how many don't get support and are made to feel worthless and constantly told your rubbsih (conveniently this happened to me in my second year at a different school, but that's a different story).

    However, please don't think this is the end, I left ,my second school at the end of the academic year and having just had some feedback from someone I met recently I am so glad I did, it hasn't changed, yes there will have been advantages had you managed to stay til the end of term but you sanity and health is much more important - I can speak from experience on that one. I know I had my NQT year completed but I was facing similar kind of situations as you when I chose to leave.

    I worked on supply, got some long term contracts and some shorter ones and learnt a lot on the way about resources, behaviour management, the benefit of having great staff to work with and loads more. Some schools I was glad when it was all over and wouldn't set foot in again and others I wished I could have stayed at but the experience was incredibly useful. I promise that once you find the right school it's a whole different ball game and you will love teaching. I am now due to start my dream job in a lovely school, teaching the age range I love (middle school age) and whilst it will be hard work this school has a fabulous reputation and very little b.m problems.

    I would recommend scouting the LEA websites for jobs as there are always maternity and long sickness covers required but rarely seem to be posted on here, I got one through a friend who worked in the department where someone was due to go on maternity leave and they asked me in, gave me an informal interview and that was that.

    Good luck for the future and don't allow these silly people to make you feel so worthless, I'm sure you'll be a fab teacher in the near future. xxx

    PS Sorry about lack of paragraphs
  3. flickaz

    flickaz New commenter

    I left my NQT post after a term and a half. At the time it felt like my world was crashign down around me but now I see it was one of the best thing I ever did. I had a managed move arranged through my union so completed 5 weeks in another school before going on to supply work. Did 2 terms on supply before getting a full time post. 2 years later I'm still at that school and loving it. Things will get better, there is a future for you in teaching, stay positive.
  4. I also left a term and a half in. I knew nothing about a managed move, so didn't have that option. I've been doing supply now since May, and although it was really slow for a LONG time (annoyingly, I was waiting on a reference which mean I was stuck not able to work when loads of people were stuck abroad after Easter) it has finally picked up now, and I'm getting enough work each week to break even on rent and bills with a bit left over for me. I was able to use my CRB from my last job as it was less than a year old whilst waiting for the agency one. I now work for two agencies, but use the same CRB for both. I also felt at the beginning like my life was in pieces, and whilst I know I'm not over it all yet (and probably won't be till I'm in a full time job again and get some answers), I am much happier now. I've had really bad days on supply... but I've also had really good days, and it's reminded me that I CAN do the job. I am a preferred teacher for at least one school, and finding that out was a massive confidence boost - if they are asking for me, I can't be that bad. I'm now applying for full time jobs again, and whilst I dread to think what is in the reference from my last school, the fact I have done supply since should work in my favour as it shows I have more experience since I left there, rather than doing nothing since leaving.
  5. So, another person gets "the thumb" and makes "the right decision"......

    A similar thing happened to me, as I outlined elsewhere and yes, I know exactly what you feel like to the letter. I got back on my feet and it changed me, then I saw a few more things and decided to leave teaching behind a few years later

    My new career is taking off and I have a great feeling about work. Teaching isn't the end of the world and being pushed around by one of it's "victims" most certainly isn't. Best of luck, Stu
  6. flickaz

    flickaz New commenter

    My union were involved and sorted it all out for me in the space fo 48 hours. I owe the Birmingham NUT office a huge debt of gratitude.
  7. You are out of a difficult situation and, hopefully, you are now in a position to start thinking of moving on.
    I was in a similar situation 2 years ago. After down time to catch my breath I signed on with every teaching agency possible. Some are much better at finding the longer term postings for you. Find out the good local schools and do your research. I found the BBC Education website good for information.
    As a result I learned hugely from the generosity of those I worked with and discovered different ways to teach the same subject. Some of the placements were grim - but you learn from it - if only that you will never touch that school again.
    As a result I have now got a permanant position at one school I was on supply with. Much, much better school and providing training and support. NQT - which ever school you are at - is tough.
    One thing that might be useful is to get yourself a good array of starters, activities etc to go with your subject area. Also research Teachers TV and log that you have researched behaviour, your subject, whatever. It will show you that you are progressng and you can bring it up in interview.
    The work I put together in my downtime came in just so useful. Likewise the trawling of Teachers TV, TES and subject specific websites.
    Best of luck.
  8. Hi,
    Just a couple of thoughts. I might be wrong here but if you want to see the reference you may be able to ask the agency for a copy.
    Other thought: You could try bypassing the agencies and speaking to the heads at your local schools. Heads don't want to have to keep ringing up agencies and getting different people each time. They want an easy and consistent option. At 8.30am when one of their teachers rings in sick, you are the person that they remember and they give you a ring. Then, your in!
    Just ideas.
    Good luck.

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