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It really puts things into perspective..

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Looby_Lou14, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    I've not had a particularly great start to the year work wise, my department don't talk to each other (they literally turn up, shut their classroom doors, stay there all day and go home).
    - My classes have been playing up and behaviour issues that I thought had disappeared are back and seemingly ten times worse.
    - I have a bad cold. My nose is red raw, my throat is so sore I can barely speak, and I'm constantly feeling sick and headachy as I'm not eating enough because it hurts so much.
    - I feel behind with work, even though I worked constanty through Christmas holidays (I'm an NQT and with a department who are so untrusting of one another no resources are shared)
    - The school is about to start consulting for academy status so double the amoutn of staff meetings and grumpiness at school....
    - Worst of all, it is coming up to the anniversary of my little sister's death, and I am finding it hard not to think about it.

    So, feeling sorry for myself I come on to TES to basically, have a moan and ask for help because I am feeling pretty rubbish...

    ... then I see Bed's post "It all happens at once". Wow. I had a read through, tears streaming down my face- why? I don't know. Bed is facing such a horrible situation and is coping so brilliantly- my tears won't help or change the situation. I think the tears were for me. Get a grip Looby, compared to what others are going through my "problems" are barely minor events in my life. Sometimes I think we need to be woken up to the reality that there is always someone else who is going through something worse than you.It has certainly kicked me up the preverbial a rse.

    ((((Bed)))) I hope things are OK for you and your family, sending all my love.

    Looby xxx
     
  2. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    I've not had a particularly great start to the year work wise, my department don't talk to each other (they literally turn up, shut their classroom doors, stay there all day and go home).
    - My classes have been playing up and behaviour issues that I thought had disappeared are back and seemingly ten times worse.
    - I have a bad cold. My nose is red raw, my throat is so sore I can barely speak, and I'm constantly feeling sick and headachy as I'm not eating enough because it hurts so much.
    - I feel behind with work, even though I worked constanty through Christmas holidays (I'm an NQT and with a department who are so untrusting of one another no resources are shared)
    - The school is about to start consulting for academy status so double the amoutn of staff meetings and grumpiness at school....
    - Worst of all, it is coming up to the anniversary of my little sister's death, and I am finding it hard not to think about it.

    So, feeling sorry for myself I come on to TES to basically, have a moan and ask for help because I am feeling pretty rubbish...

    ... then I see Bed's post "It all happens at once". Wow. I had a read through, tears streaming down my face- why? I don't know. Bed is facing such a horrible situation and is coping so brilliantly- my tears won't help or change the situation. I think the tears were for me. Get a grip Looby, compared to what others are going through my "problems" are barely minor events in my life. Sometimes I think we need to be woken up to the reality that there is always someone else who is going through something worse than you.It has certainly kicked me up the preverbial a rse.

    ((((Bed)))) I hope things are OK for you and your family, sending all my love.

    Looby xxx
     
  3. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Well possibly , but, one of the problems with feeling bad about a situation is; it's<u> your situation</u> and knowing how others have coped/ others are going through similar or worse situations still don't help one cope with one's own situation, which can still feel overwhelming.
    You're obviously ill with your cold at present, your students will take a while to settle after the holidays. (Never assume because you were' on top of behaviour' at the end of one term, you won't need to do some re-establishing routines and expectations at the start of the next.) So you're 'entitled' to have a moan.
    Things <u>will</u> get better.
     
  4. Looby I am so glad you started this thread as I have just read Bed's post and feel exactly the same. It's easy to look at the things going wrong in our lives and think "Why me?" and "How unfair" but the reality is that sometimes it is grotty but not so terrible really. Bed's post also made me tearful simply because the thought of someone going through so much upset is very, very sad.

    I send Bed and family much love and for you Looby I hope things brighten up for you - an NQT year is hard enough without having a difficult department to deal with.


     
  5. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    OK, let's deal with this as we would help a student, by breaking the situation up into managable 'bits'.
    1) As a NQT, do you have a mentor? Obviously you should. Use them, confide in them particularly as you feel isolated. (Folks outside of teaching don't realise what a lonely job it can be. Yes, you are in a room with other human beings, but they're kids-a whole different species to 'grown-ups!!)
    2) Classes playing up. They will, particularly after a holiday and MORE particularly after Christmas holiday. Also, January is a horrible month-the phrase I normally use about the month of January would probably get me banned!! [​IMG] Go back to basics and reestablish your standards and expectations. It shouldn't take long but is well worth the time spent.
    3) Stinking cold. Get the tissues with balm or whatever-less abrasive on the tender skin. For your throat-Dequicaine. I swear by it!! Care of your throat is paramount, particulaly in your NQT year. You MUST establish a routine now. I mix Ribena (no added sugar of course!!) honey and lemon juice into a bottle with spring water, chilled, and sip through the day. Take vitamin C. I take Boots own Baroca. (Be aware it will turn your wee flourescant. No one warned me when I first used it. Boy, was I relieved when it was explained!!)
    4) While you are feeling so under the weather and your faculty are being mean-how pathetic is that?-don't try to reinvent the wheel where planning is concerned, go to sites which have resources for free. I STILL do that and I'm probably older that your parents!
    5) Can't do anything about the extra meetings, sadly, but take a drink and some dried fruit to munch on as these will stop you doing off!
    6) Bless your dear heart about your sister. I'm a bereaved parent so I do understand some of what you're going through. When it came the time of my daughter's anivarsary, I just did what I could. You are human, flesh and blood, not a machine and real life things will affect you. Tell your mentor how you feel so that they can understand why you might be playing below your game. There is nothing you can 'do' except live through these aniversaries.
    Be kind to yourself, Looby. You have entered a difficult profession at a very difficult time. You cannot expect yourself to be all things to all 'men' so give yourself a chance.
    Big hugs!!
    (Please excuse any typos; I can spell, just can'y bluddy type!)


     
  6. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    Thank you all for your replies and Dragonlady30- fantastic advice, thank you.

    I am currently wrapped up on the sofa, with my PJs on and a hot water bottle, searching TES resources and using everything I can.
    I've also just had a long chat with someone from my PGCE course last year and we are planning on going on a spa break when everyone is fit and healthy and not snowed-under with work.
    My sister died the day after my birthday - that was 13 years ago now, but still feels like yesterday. I think I have always felt guilty as I was too busy enjoying my birthday to realise how ill she was, since then I always get very uneasy when people make a fuss for me around my birthday- I know I had nothing to do with it, etc but just a funny feeling that I don't think will ever go away completely.

    I have also heard back from a few parents of the bu99ers that played up the other day and have got their full support so that has made me happier too. I am just going to try and speak as much as I can to my department- they are not horrible or mean etc and they don't leave me out, but it is just not a hugely sociable/ friendly department if that makes sense!?
    My NQT mentor though is lovely- She has helped me lots and is just the nicest person.

    onwards and upwards [​IMG]




     
  7. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    Ooh, an indulgent sofa day! Fantastic! [​IMG] Just the right thing to do.
    A planned treat! Brilliant!
    The faculty thing is very odd. Just be yourself, talk to them all and just ignore any infighting. Don't take sides!
    I'm pleased you have a compassionate mentor-she'll be worth her weight in gold so treasure her!
    Parents onside and supportive. This is fantastic and remember to 'phone them again when things get better or if they don't. You've made good conections there which the parents will value.
    Your bereavement. How dreadfully sad, particularly so near to your birthday. You feel guilty which is undcerstandable, but just think over this. What if one of your friends was in the position you are in. What advice would you give them? Continue feeling guilty or try to move on? Yes, I understand but would your wee sister want you to dread your birthday? I'll leave that one with you.
    Right! I think you have just proved the old adage-a problem shared is a problem halved except, you were already well on the path to seeing things differently. The beauty of this forum is that there is always someone to help.
    Take care, and a few more hugs for luck!!

     

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