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It doesn't have any calories if...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by magic surf bus, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    You're sampling a cooking ingredient.

    It's in a green packet.

    Any other offers calorie counters?
     
  2. erp77

    erp77 New commenter


    If you eat it standing up

    If it's from somebody elses plate!
     
  3. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    It's water.[​IMG].
     
  4. If the biscuits are broken then they have no calories.
     
  5. ...you eat it on a Thursday!! (Hence the big bag of Butterkist I've just munched my way through!!) LOL
     
  6. If you didn't buy it!
     
  7. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    You're on your period and it's either eat cake or bite your husband's head off.
     
  8. Milkandchalk

    Milkandchalk New commenter

    When you cut a cake, all the calories fall out.
     
  9. Not fattening if ... what you eat at same sitting is the same colour. So vanilla ice cream, white chocolate etc is fine. Chocolate flavoured and coloured anything is positively beneficial. Avoid green.
     
  10. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    . . someone else opened the packet.
    . . you utter the magic words "Och on you go, just a sliver though."
    . . . it's late at night and no one saw you standing in the kitchen and furtively stuff the last of the crisps into your guilty gob
    . . . you don't read the packaging to see how many calories it contains
    . . . . if you feel cold and miserable and need cheering up
     
  11. You drink a diet coke with it.
     
  12. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    It's digested through a sexual act.
     
  13. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Don't tell my husband that. It's my favourite excuse!
     
  14. if it melts in your mouth
     
  15. If it contains any sort of fruit in it.....chocolate orange, eccles cakes etc...
     
  16. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    The ingredients can be traced to a fruit or vegetable, chocolate-fruit, Wine-fruit, cheese-grass, beef-grass, wheat-vegetable, beer-fruit, So this means that a great number of foods are OK.

    Cake, eggs-vegetable, butter-grass, flour-fruit, sugar-cane, chocolate-fruit.
     
  17. If the packet falls off the shelf / out of the cupboard.
    If eating it is vital to make room in the fridge or freezer.
     
  18. If it's provided at a training course

    I've been known to get there early for breakfast snacks, then 3 course for lunch (ate 2 desserts at last one) brownies in the afternoon and a bit sneaked out in a folded napkin to take home

    Well, it'd only go to waste otherwise
     
  19. Anything you eat in the hours following weighing in at your slimming club has no calories. Calories don't count until you wake up the following morning.
    Thats me - now - hooray!!
     
  20. It doesn't have any calories if ..............

    .............you have finished eating it before you've got your head out of the fridge!
     

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