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Is there a language of aches and pains, that the elderly might better exploit?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Duke of York, Jan 15, 2020.

  1. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Thanks caress. I have had joint problems from just before my diagnosis of Hashimotos. No-one has ever suggested they might be down to hypothyroidism.
    caress likes this.
  2. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    My friend has cerebral palsy. She is a feisty, independent woman and has fought for years to remain on her legs, resisting going into a wheelchair. Now at 40 her orthopaedic surgeon tells her she has the body/joints of someone in their 60s and she is in quite some pain.
    She was awarded Disability Living Allowance as a child lifelong. Her parents funded a family car from that...... that is a whole other issue and it caused trouble when at 17 she left home to be independent and needed the award in cash to help with rent etc as her job was only part time. She then worked for a fair few years.
    Move forward to ATOS times and suddenly she has to apply for DLA/PIP. ER has CP become something one can miraculously recover from? It passed my notice if it did. I cannot begin to describe the distress this caused her. She needs that money to make ends meet. Her mobility has worsened to the point that she has had to resort to stroller/walkers and a wheelchair. I perceive them as "old woman" machines so how much worse is it for her to have to capitulate? She was told my my daughter and myself that she had absolutely no need to worry as she would most definitely re-qualify with her medical situation and we drove down to Stoke twice to help her with the forms. I cannot begin to describe the file of relevant and contributory evidence she hd and yet still she stressed. She even went and paid numpty of a so-called Disability advice advocate who charged her £30 and undid some of the work we had done (quite wrongly too as he ignored some of what she was explaining to him)
    We stressed to her that even if the assessor denied her claim - she would appeal - we would help sort that and go with her and that she would (like most people who are forced to appeal - when faced with an independent adjudicator) - win on appeal.
    She was awarded her benefit...... but it was a disgrace that she should have to go through all she went through. I despair at this country. I despair at the attitudes of so many who don't have to face these kind of problems. Despair at the perfectly well ambulant people who park in disabled spaces and who bound athletically into stores/wherever, oblivious to the people who really need these spaces. I would swap the pain I experience on a daily basis with them in an instant.
    I can no longer experience the joy of walking my Jack Russell out and marvel at his athleticism and his sheer joy in his running..... I loved walking....loved gazing over fields and just breathing (it's not the same from the car seat) I am sick of being late everywhere I go because in my head I am operating as if I was still a 20 - 58 year old..... I cannot get my internal concept of time with my lack of physical ability. I hate being perceived as disabled and I am on occasion somewhat dismayed when I realise how disabled some people consider me (as in my head.... I don't think that - even when experiencing a high level of pain) I am resigned now to remaining like this...well worsening obviously as I now realise that they are not going to replace my joints..... they are scared of my previous medical conditions ... I can't even pay them privately. I am the probable black spot on their figures (is one allowed still to say 'black spot'??)
    I have now resorted to a level of self pity and that would be wrong as some of this I brought on myself. I should have been more pro active about challenging about my thyroid condition. I should have sought help earlier re weight management. I should maybe not have done as much sport, I should have avoided car accidents and overweight dogs colliding with my locked knee joint. Lastly I should not have ignored injury with the over optimistic...oh it will get better.....
    The unkindest cut of all is that the skin on my legs has erupted with a horrid psoriasis/eczema and I cannot go swimming and have that exposed...... as it is just horrid and I feel I should be ringing a bell as I become apparent, to warn people to stay away...... one really just wonders what else can go wrong...but then that is foolish when reading about what others on here have to overcome. I am still moving about..... I am a stubborn, independent person ie am driving now on my own to Tidal's life celebration as.... I am still on the planet unlike some who have passed in an unfair and untimely manner. I need the person nearest to me to give me good slap.
    emerald52 likes this.
  3. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Plenty of young people are in agony, or have serious lifelong disabilities-one of my very young relatives is deaf, has permanent pains and sickness due to his condition, and gets no help, despite his articulate, hard-working parents applying, and going to tribunals-and the NHS won't even supply his hearing aids, so they have to pay private doctors for some (I daresay the NHS is better in some other areas), so please don't think that young people can have no understanding. Seeing what this poor child has gone through has made me question my very liberal/socialist views, but I suppose many of us just go through life thinking everything is wonderful until we see people we know suffer-or suffer ourselves. I hope you have better luck with things, OP, than this child-I know of so many people who 'play the system' to avoid ever having to work, and I don't understand how genuinely needy people, who try their best, get nothing.
  4. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    someone I know has Hashimoto's , diagnosed 10 years ago at the a&e of 28. He was diagnosed speedily as he was virtually immobile, unable to even reach for the drink next to him. Medication topped up his thyroid levels but he's been having problems the past year. His joints ache and he finds touch painful at times. Stairs can be a problem. Blood tests show that he is taking the correct dose of medication but he feels like an OAP.I
    He is self-employed and is often not able to work. I'm trying to persuade him to apply for PIP.
    The GP thinks he might have developed Fibromyalgia and he is waiting to see a neuro-endocrinologist.
    caress likes this.
  5. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    If you asked a government official about this, the reply you'd get is thatthaey can't comment on idividual cases, but they're happy to do so after a court has decided the treatment a patient had wasn't satisfactory.

    The system is desined such that incompetent minsisters get promoted to other jobs, or receive knighthoods for their incompetence, as in the recent case of IDS, a total arrse who has been relieved of having to justify the the consequences of what the pillock did while he was in office, but can enjoy remaining a pillock in a new life, without the baggage.

    To all those who hoped that Brexit would would clear the swamp, I wonder how proud you are are of the outcome, when the biggest shitebags that were ever elected still remain at the expense of some who might have done you some good.

    You couldn't make it up if you tried.
  6. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Getting old allows you to discover that there are parts of your body that ache but you never dreamed possible. It also allows you to discover that the medical profession hasn't a clue as to what many age related ailments are. The attitude I try to have is what our transatlantic cousins light call "suck it up". I have been having some investigations and been to the local hospital at least three times since November, which is full of old people either waiting to die, or leafing through ancient copies of The People's Friend. I have another one on saturday (yes saturday) which will probably find nothing either. I try to take the opposite attitude to my mother who "enjoyed bad health" and lacked social graces, so when anyone made the mistake of asking her "how are you?" she used to launch into a litany of every ailment real or imagined that she suffered from for at least half an hour.
    Jamvic and emerald52 like this.
  7. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    [QUOTE="Ivartheboneless ". I try to take the opposite attitude to my mother who "enjoyed bad health" and lacked social graces, so when anyone made the mistake of asking her "how are you?" she used to launch into a litany of every ailment real or imagined that she suffered from for at least half an hour.[/QUOTE]

    That's my mother too.
    I've decided that pain in the elderly is not always genuine. My long-suffering sister recently took mother to a hospital physio appointment. The session was a follow-up one after a fall off a chair in a cafe. She had been given exercises to increase arm movement and ease neck ache. The physio eased her arm into various positions and mother winced and screamed with each one and then declared that the arm could go no higher.

    sister then got her into the waiting room and helped her get her coat on. She then handed her her shoulder bag. Mother ,quickly and without pain or screaming, then raised her bad arm really high and hooked the strap over her head. She's been pretending all along to get attention and to have an "I'm in pain all the time" excuse when she behaves badly. She has wasted NHS resources.
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
    emerald52 likes this.
  8. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    Exactly the same with my mother. The amount of time she has wasted of NHS staff is shocking.
  9. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Mine’s the exact opposite. If she got her arm shot clean off she’d be shooing you away saying I’m fine, I’m fine don’t fuss. She’d simultaneously be trying to stuff the offending limb into a reusable shopping bag and mopping up any spilled blood so as not to ‘cause any bother’ or, horror of horrors, ‘a scene’!
    caress likes this.

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