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Is the girlfriend for real?!!!! Please let me know!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by sciencequeen00, Feb 19, 2012.

  1. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    My brother recently brought home a new girlfriend.He met her quite quickly after being with someone else and she is keen to make her mark very quickly into our family! Myself and my partner dont know what to make of her and in family situations I do find her very bizarre and abit odd.
    At Christmas she came over for Boxing day and to be honest did spoil the day! The trouble is she just doesnt have a a clue about how loud she is.If someone cracks a joke she always lets out this huge great big laugh which takes over the whole room.At first I didn't notice this but then I became more aware of it and it sadly does annoy me abit.She is also very one sided and just talks ( which is fine!!) but its always just about herself and what she has done, she doesnt enquire or ask information to make the conversation go to the other person. I had only met her for the second time on Boxing day and she was telling me her life story and some quite personnel info about ex partners.I was shocked as I guess i wouldnt behave like this with a new family.She was also talking about having children with my brother and weddings (they have been dating less then 6 months)

    She got very drunk on Boxing day and was over powering, everyone noticed it.She made a bee line to speak to my Dad, then Mum when they were alone and was keen to express how much she loves my brother.Around the dinner table she just talks at my parents and I do feel sorry for them as they have so many great experience and tails to share, she always manages to switch the conversation back to her which becomes so boring! You dont even ask her a question and she just talks and talks (very loudly!!!)......
    She left her make bag in our family bathroom over Boxing day and she also left out some prescription tablets for citralopram and propranolol openly for people to see. I am unsure what these are for but surely you would keep things like this out of the way?
    Today we had anotehr family event and again she was loud and did start to get annoying. I myself am quite loud but this girl is in a league of her own.Any small joke and she is there laughing her head off in the most high volume explosion.She just talked at my Auntie and Uncle and again old them her life story!!!

    Now I am worried I cant be around this girl, something just doesnt seem right about her and I feel like abit of a cow for feeling like this towards her!?
     
  2. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    My brother recently brought home a new girlfriend.He met her quite quickly after being with someone else and she is keen to make her mark very quickly into our family! Myself and my partner dont know what to make of her and in family situations I do find her very bizarre and abit odd.
    At Christmas she came over for Boxing day and to be honest did spoil the day! The trouble is she just doesnt have a a clue about how loud she is.If someone cracks a joke she always lets out this huge great big laugh which takes over the whole room.At first I didn't notice this but then I became more aware of it and it sadly does annoy me abit.She is also very one sided and just talks ( which is fine!!) but its always just about herself and what she has done, she doesnt enquire or ask information to make the conversation go to the other person. I had only met her for the second time on Boxing day and she was telling me her life story and some quite personnel info about ex partners.I was shocked as I guess i wouldnt behave like this with a new family.She was also talking about having children with my brother and weddings (they have been dating less then 6 months)

    She got very drunk on Boxing day and was over powering, everyone noticed it.She made a bee line to speak to my Dad, then Mum when they were alone and was keen to express how much she loves my brother.Around the dinner table she just talks at my parents and I do feel sorry for them as they have so many great experience and tails to share, she always manages to switch the conversation back to her which becomes so boring! You dont even ask her a question and she just talks and talks (very loudly!!!)......
    She left her make bag in our family bathroom over Boxing day and she also left out some prescription tablets for citralopram and propranolol openly for people to see. I am unsure what these are for but surely you would keep things like this out of the way?
    Today we had anotehr family event and again she was loud and did start to get annoying. I myself am quite loud but this girl is in a league of her own.Any small joke and she is there laughing her head off in the most high volume explosion.She just talked at my Auntie and Uncle and again old them her life story!!!

    Now I am worried I cant be around this girl, something just doesnt seem right about her and I feel like abit of a cow for feeling like this towards her!?
     
  3. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    None of it matters if your brother likes her.
     
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I agree.
     
  5. chocolateworshipper

    chocolateworshipper Occasional commenter

    A quick Google of these meds suggests that she suffers from depression and/or anxiety. Certainly her behaviour could suggest she is insecure. Maybe she left the meds lying around because she wants someone to realise that all is not quite well and she wants your sympathy? Could you try spending some 1:1 time with her - telling her that you'd like to get to know her properly - then maybe you will get a better idea of what she is really like? You could tell her that you need to be somewhere afterwards so that you only have a set time with her - then see how it goes. Good luck x
     
  6. Maybe she's a bit nervous and is over-compensating?

    Or maybe she's just one of those larger than life people?
    Put up with it for now, be kind, and you might find you like her more than you thought (eventually)

    The other outcome is that it'll be a short-term relationship, so nothing for you to get your knick-knacks in a twist over. :)
     
  7. With these drugs I would assume she isn't in the best state of mind and is probably over-compensating by being the loud, (and no doubt in her mind) friendly one. It is so nerve-racking meeting the in-laws and probably over time you will get to see a calmer, more at ease girl. Your brother clearly fell for her for a reason, it just might take some time and lots of biting your lip for you to see why. Let it go, if it continues and you really can't face it have a gentle word with either your brother or mention it to your mum. If you have noticed it she probably has and might be more comfortable having a more relaxed chat with your brother or even take the girlfriend out for some 1-to-1 time. Hopefully the situation will improve. Just remember you care about your brother and whether this girl sticks around or not, his feelings need to come first. Good luck :)
     
  8. I don't really understand the question in your title - is she for real. Surely you will know this better than any of us!

    From what you have described, she sounds as if she might be very nervous and eager to please. Perhaps given some warmth and acceptance she won't feel the need to try so hard? I'd probably ask my brother whether she is normally like this.
     
  9. Sounds like she could be nervous about meeting everyone and is over compenstating a lot!!!!
    Like what a couple of other people have suggested maybe see if you can catch up just the two of you and see what heppens. Good luck!
     
  10. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    This to me sounds like a quite an insecure person trying desperately to impress the family of the man she loves. Why not make an effort to get to know her better, maybe by inviting her out for a coffee or something. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume, in the first instance, that she's just trying to make you think she's an interesting person worthy of dating your brother.
     
  11. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    Thanks for everyones input.Yes she may well be over compensating as she is nervous, this does make sense with the medication she is on. I didnt realise what these medicines were for so she may well be in a bad place with depression/anxiety.She is definatly very loud and alot of people have picked up on this.My Mum has commented about her a few times, she has noticed that she likes discussing herself and is quite bossy to my brother.The trouble is her behaviour does put me off being around her at family events as it makes me uncomfortable and just not part of things as she has a real knack of just taking over!
     
  12. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    To be blunt it sounds to me like you should mind your own business. If she is feeling in any way nervous then being tackled even in a nice way will be mortifying for her. Your brother likes her, there's really nothing more to be said.
     
  13. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    So for seven weeks you just decided to assume the worst rather than quickly and easily checking?
     
  14. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    It becomes my business when members of my family and partner also find her over powering and too loud! I dont think I will tackle her about this, I feel that is a bad idea at this stage.I have already had quite afew 1:1 chats and from this all I have discovered is that she just talks over me and about herself!
     
  15. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    No, I don't think it does. Your only 'business' is to put up and shut up.
     
  16. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    Maybe she finds you patronising or intimidating?
     
  17. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    I just assumed they were some kind of painkiller! I didnt realise they were for depression/anxiety and she didnt display any of these symptoms of seeming down or depressed.In fact she was quite the opposite of being very loud/very talkative!
     
  18. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    I think you are right here - just be polite and pleasant when you do meet her (probably in family situations) and see how it goes. After all it isn't as if you can do anything - even if you thought you should, which I'm sure you don't.

    I would wait and see how the relationship progresses.
     
  19. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    maybe she does but I dont feel that I give off this vibe! she would have also seen that I am a good listener as thats my only option when we are in conversation!
     
  20. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    So why should she have felt the need to hide painkillers?
     

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