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Is it just too brutal to tell someone you don't love them?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by myweedyallotment, May 11, 2012.

  1. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Do you think that if you are having an "Ending it" conversation it is just too brutal to simply say "I don't love you anymore" ?
     
  2. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Do you think that if you are having an "Ending it" conversation it is just too brutal to simply say "I don't love you anymore" ?
     
  3. Well, it's better than "I still love you but I'm shagging someone else".
    Anyway, I <u>don't</u> love you anymore. In fact, I realise now that I never did.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    See, that wasn't too bad, was it?
    .
    cyolba, sacked by Relate for propositioning the clients :)
     
  4. whatever you say it's going to be horrible. Every 'ending it' conversation boils down to 'I don't love you' whether it's qualifed with 'enough' or 'anymore' it's still really going to hurt. Depends on the other person whether you say it or not - and the situation. will it be unkind to do so? can you get your message across more tactfully?
    advice to the dumper...Be kind. accept that the other person will have an emotional response to this news. Don't be an ar se.
     
  5. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    I don't think I understand your sense of humour.
    BTW I'm not shagging anyone else.

     
  6. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    That's cyolba I'm not understanding.
     
  7. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    That's what I'm struggling with.
    How can you "tactfully" tell someone it's over? I don't want to say "It's not you. It's me"
    I know it's going to be horrible.

     
  8. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

  9. Don't take cyolba seriously!. it's just his sense of humour.

    Whatever you say will hurt, but perhaps, "i don't feel the same way about you" would be kinder?
     
  10. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

  11. My soon-to-be ex-husband said exactly that, " I don't love you anymore". It was tough but at least it was honest and I don't have to think about any ideas of getting back with him.
    There's no gentle way to say it but it does need saying if it's true (imo).
     
  12. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Thank you Annie - I suppose that's what I am looking for although I know that this equates to the same thing that does seem slightly less brutal. I am so weak.
     
  13. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Unless I have been misunderstanding the Mrs for years.
    I think you will need to be more explicit than this.

     
  14. I was being serious. Can you suggest that knew it was over when you started drooling over pictures like this?
    [​IMG]
    .
    .
    cyolba, assuming th OP is Welsh :)
     
  15. Cestrian

    Cestrian New commenter

    Probably not really, you just don't like hurting people
     
  16. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    OP is not Welsh.
    OP is female.
     
  17. You have two options:
    1) Be brutally truthful
    or
    2) Pack it up a little bit in cotton wool and explain why it is not working for you.
    Variant 2 leads to discussions.
    Variant 1 is painful, but over and done with much quicker for both parties involved.

     
  18. It's not weakness, you just don't want to deliberately hurt someone. I had a friend who ended up getting married to someone that she didn't actually love any more, as she could never find the right words.

    Good luck
     
  19. No matter how you say it, it will hurt.
    I think it is far better to just say "I am sorry, I don't love you", rather than try to explain it with twists and meanderings, which are not clear to the person you are speaking to and draw the whole thing out.
    It will hurt you to say it, but if you want out of the relationship, you are going to have to.
    Because if you don't, I promise you, the question will come "Don't you love me anymore?"


     
  20. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Thank you.
    I am ending a long marriage. Not breaking up with a boyfriend. Not that I think that's any easier.
    I have a teenage child.
     

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