Ten years ago I graduated from a PGCE in England and moved back to Northern Ireland shortly after. Northern Ireland has two teacher training colleges and PGCE is not a common pathway there. I was asked to cover a Primary 1 class( Reception ) for a month in a single form entry school. I declined as I had zero experience in Foundation and said as much. They were desperate and convinced me. The month rolled on and on and I ended up doing the whole year. Education is less prescriptive in NI and objectives are by key stage rather than year group. This was before all the fabulous ****** resources and I was clueless. I really did try hard. Unused to supporting PGCE students I was left largely to own devices despite communicating my lack of confidence. The headteacher went off sick in the March leaving only 4 teachers left in the small country school. My TA had to go full time in the office to compensate. Realising how inexperienced I was and realising how ill-equipped schools in Northern Ireland are to support PGCE Nqts I moved back to England where I have stayed for 9 years. I’m a capable teacher now and can defo say I have good subject knowledge. After teaching for 9 years in KS2 I decided to take a break and do some supply while I complete a masters. I’ll no doubt return next year. On supply however I have been in Nursery and reception and it’s triggered lots of memories about that time. At night I stay awake thinking about how rubbish I was. How little I achieved with them. How much I should have been doing and what I would do differently. I think about the teacher who got them the following year and about how much ground she would have had to make up and what conversations she would have had about me. I think I’m particular about 1 little boy who finished the year unable to read and beat myself up for not doing more. I definitely would have persevered in hindsight. It’s all further compounded by the fact this is a school in a small rural parish. It is the school where I went as a child and one where my mother worked for 35 years and is a bit of a legend. I think of that little boy and his wider family. I think of the teacher who got them after me and knows so many of the same people I do. I think if my mum whose legacy I tarnished. The result? I can’t get any sleep. All this is coming up ten years later! Anyone got any experience of this??