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In need of a moan...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by captain oats, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Your predicament is a sad indictment of Cameron's big society. Although the rot started before then.
    I read somewhere that average house prices in a healthy economy should be about four times tha average salary. What this bodes for the future is unknown, because ALL house owners want the house to be worth as much as possible. Negative equity anyone?
  2. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket New commenter

    I totally understand what you mean. I am rapidly heading towards 25 and okay I have my own flat (rented) but I have no boyfriend, nor anyone who seems remotely interested and I live in a city where I know nobody at all. I do get upset when I see people I went to school with married with babies and I am pretty sure they don't envy my life of sitting in my flat alone 'young, free and single'!
    If I were you I would move in with your boyfriend and rent, okay you might take longer to save up the deposit but surely the pay off would be worth it. You live together, you get to see if you can live together and you can still save. I pay £500 a month by myself for my flat. If I shared it with someone I could save £3000 a year. Surely that is worth it???
  3. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Have you tried being cheeky and offering on a house if the deposit was paid? We tried this and after some consideration, and I'm guessing no ther offers, they agreed (shame it was two days after I lost my job).
    I know how you feel though, were stuck in rented. My income is less than £5k ATM and I feel really guilty for feeling so disatisfied with everything when my OH (whos on less than £20k) is working hard and paying for everything for us. This wasn't how I imagined things being.
    Its January, its miserable out, things may look brighter come Feb?
  4. Seadream

    Seadream New commenter

    I'm sure you could find somewhere to rent if you're being realistic about your expectations - a one bed flat should easily be doable. I was married with 2 children before I was able to afford to buy (last year) at the grand age of 37 and that was only because my parents helped towards the deposit. The rest of the world rent - it's just us Brits who have the buying obsession. Also, once you're renting you can gradually aquire the furniture you need and so it's all ready for when you buy. It can't be healthy living with your parents at your age - I know when I satyed with mine they made me feel like a naughty teenager even though I was into my 30s.
    I agree with everyone else re facebook. People generally post to show off how great their life is. Some even post about what they've just eaten - they were culled by me!
    You really do have a whole life ahead of you and you sound ready to change and how lucky you are to have a great partner to boot! Moving in together will be an adventure so just do it!
  5. I suspect logging on to Facebook regularly is going to be the cause of a massive outbreak of depression in young people. The grass is ALWAYS greener elsewhere in FB land...and happy smiling pics of people partying or acquiring partners or babies when you are not can only bring you down.
    A) <u>Stop using Facebook.</u>
    B) Try to remember that many relationships are hellish and don't work, resulting in painful heart-ache.
    C) Smiling Mum, Dad and new baby pictures hide the truth. Babies scream at night, s.hit a lot, are good at projectile vomiting, cost a fortune, stop you sleeping and relaxing, take up most of your time and attention and change your life completely.
    D) Be happy that the world is your oyster and you aren't tied down as some are. YOU are the lucky one.

    *Mutters* Facebook. Pah!

  6. God God!!!
    Being young, free and single should be one of the best times of your life!!!!!!
    Live for the day....make it interesting and the envy of all those 'tied up' elsewhere. You have to make a life for yourself and not imagine that it only begins when you are in a relationship, have a mortgage or a baby growing in your womb.
    I really sympathise with anyone who feels lonely. Facebook however only seems to magnify your 'alone' state. It's such a waste of life to want to be like other people. I suppose I can say that with hindsight.
    You really do have to make your own life and stop putting yourself in a position where life is 'virtual' and you are looking in, via your computer, from the outside and feeling your life just doesn't compare favourably to others. Everyone has cr.ap in their lives at some point and some more regularly than others, even the smiling, smug, picture-posting people on Facebook.

  7. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket New commenter

    I know what you are saying and tonight I am starting an exercise class with another teacher at school. It is just hard when you know nobody, money is tight, and everyone you work with already has their own life.
  8. Yes, I can understand that, and I DO sympathise.
    However, we really shouldn't compare our lives to others. We always seem to hone in on someone who seemingly has it all and then the envy and 'poor me' feelings surface. Damaging.
    Knowing that's what will happen when you have a nosey at the lives of others (and all the 'fun' and 'I'm so popular' **** generated by Facebook friends IS exaggerated, I am sure) just make a point of not looking in.
    I always find that making a mental note of what I have going for me, rather than all the things I lack, helps me no end. I know 'count your blessings' is a bit of a cliche but there must be lots that you are grateful for and I bet your life is OK, even without a man, mortgage or child. [​IMG]
    Well done for joining a class! I hope it's a good experience and you and your colleague have fun. It takes time to make new friends, but getting out and going regularly to a meeting of any sort should make you feel better and more 'alive'.
  9. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Thanks for your comments Arched Eyebrow, I was thinking along those lines today. After a particularly long and noisy day with my class I was very grateful for the fact that I could go home and just be by myself. I love the fact that the weekends are mine and I'm far too selfish to be settling down and having children!

    The reality is that we will have to rent, I'm fine with that, but we are slowly realising that we have to lower our expectations on what we can get based on what is around at the moment!
  10. I agree with staying away from facebook. My happiest, care-free friends don't use it....I think they have the right idea! As others have said, it only serves to magnify your loneliness.
  11. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Where do you live captain oats (obviously not an exact but what rough area?) We're in the North West and have a 2 bed house with garden and double drive for &pound;500...
  12. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    South East, we'll be lucky if we can get a one bedroom flat for £500 a month!
  13. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    I would have a good look round and don't ignore an area because it has a "reputation". You could find somewhere lovely.
  14. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    I don't envy you then! Its hard enough up here. Is there not a bigger house you could share with another couple? We once looked at a 3 storey house, could have rented out the first flor, shared the middle and top would have been all ours... x
  15. I can second you on that one! Even in the really undesirable areas rent doesn't come cheap.

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