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In need of a moan...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by captain oats, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Not really sure why I'm posting this but have been feeling a bit low this weekend and wanted to off load somewhere.

    It seems like everyone around me is moving on and has really exciting things happening in their lives and I just seem to be standing still in comparison.

    Every day when I log on to Facebook another friend is announcing an engagement or having a baby. I'm only 25 and still feel too young for this to happen, yet it is happening to a lot of people my age.

    At the moment I definitely don't want either of those things, but I do want something exciting to happen in my life! I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and half years, both of us still live with our parents and we are desperate to live together.
    We are hoping to do this within in the next few months (although, I feel like I have been saying this for the last year!) It is so frustrating though, as I know this will be a long process.

    So yeah, not really sure what I am hoping to achieve by posting this, like I said, needed a moan.
     
  2. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Not really sure why I'm posting this but have been feeling a bit low this weekend and wanted to off load somewhere.

    It seems like everyone around me is moving on and has really exciting things happening in their lives and I just seem to be standing still in comparison.

    Every day when I log on to Facebook another friend is announcing an engagement or having a baby. I'm only 25 and still feel too young for this to happen, yet it is happening to a lot of people my age.

    At the moment I definitely don't want either of those things, but I do want something exciting to happen in my life! I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and half years, both of us still live with our parents and we are desperate to live together.
    We are hoping to do this within in the next few months (although, I feel like I have been saying this for the last year!) It is so frustrating though, as I know this will be a long process.

    So yeah, not really sure what I am hoping to achieve by posting this, like I said, needed a moan.
     
  3. No advice, but just wanted you to know you're not alone. Everything in my life is going wrong at the moment - facebook has had me in tears more than once this year looking at everyone else's perfect lives. Take care
     
  4. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Everybody's life has ups and downs and slow bits. Yours is just out of step at the moment from those you're comparing yourself with. Your time will come for more excitment....probably just when they're in a trough.
     
  5. [​IMG] I do know what you mean, and I think that most people probably do. I have certainly felt that way myself on some occasions as you log on and see an amazing night out, gorgeous holiday, happy smiling laughing faces in the snow ...
    Honestly though, people probably look at YOUR fb with the same wistfulness - I have a friend who had the most awful run of bad luck and it resulted in their flat being repossessed - she was posting smiley updates about how great her life was right until the end. FB is just the glossy veneer of life - everyone's looks bright and beautiful but underneath it won't be, I promise x
     
  6. Cestrian

    Cestrian New commenter

    Nothing really constructive to offer in the way of advice, I just didn't want you to think no-one was "listening". Moan away, you can get things off your chest and sometimes when you've verbalised something (and seen it in print) you can get a clearer perspective. It's a looooong time since I was your age, but I too went through angst about the same sorts of things. It's a sort of envy, even if you know deep down it's not the right time for you, but it doesn't stop you feeling wistful. Unfortunately the house situation is dire for lots of people your age - I have young colleagues who can see no way to getting a place of their own - but keep your eyes on the future, and you will eventually get there!
    C
     
  7. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Thanks for the replies. Glad to know I'm not the only person who has felt/is feeling like this.
     
  8. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    So, what's stopping you?
     
  9. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

  10. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    Moan away but I do hope that you are planning your escape (from you parents) because there's nothing worse than not having a constructive plan to enable you to look forward.
     
  11. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    I find that hard to believe
     
  12. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Facebook, as my boyfriend puts it, is merely a technological form of masterbation. Don't let what you read upset you. Some people simply can't wait to change that status to 'in a relationship' or similar. A relationship is between two people, not the world.
     
  13. No one wants to write 'wow what a rubbish life I have' in a fairly public way! Console yourself - about half the engagements/marriages will end and having kids means you go grey and have no sleep for 18 years. Count your blessings: you have a boyfriend that you care about, have plans for the future and are going somewhere. That's more than a lot of people have.
     
  14. jeswes

    jeswes New commenter

    I agree Facebook can make your life seem less fulfilled. However whilst genuinely pleased for those friends annoucing engagements etc there are many smug people out there who are desperate to convince you their life is perfect with constant 'life is perfect updates' who I think are lacking something and trying to convince themselves.sounds to me like your life is going in the right direction and you will get there in the end so dont worry or compare yourself to others x
     
  15.  

    I find that hard to believe

    Quote

    You find it hard to believe that two people find it hard to save enough money for deposit and furniture, food, council tax, insurance and all the trappings that setting up home requires? I don't!

    To the OP, I'll echo what others have said: things are never perfect. I know my FB life looks great but we've been thrown a curve ball this weekend and I've cried a lot. Have I put that online for people who know me to see? Nope. It's private and I don't want to look like a desperate attention seeker who is posting intimate details that make people uncomfortable. They'll all have their own albatrosses knocking about, trust me. Just focus on saving to live with your man. Good luck! :) x
     
  16. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I can't be bothered with Facebook, so I bumble along in blissful ignorance of others' superior achievements. I like it that way.
     
  17. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    How can you find it hard to believe harsh-but-fair?

    I am teacher on an M4 salary and my boyfriend is an apprentice electrician, there is no way we could even dream of buying a house in the near future. Our best option is renting, but that is proving difficult at the moment because there is nothing available for our budget!

    Thanks for the words of support from other posters :)
     
  18. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    I think I know what HBF means - obviously you are saving for a mortgage and expect to buy new furniture and white goods then it will be a long slow process. If you just go and rent a flat together it shouldn't be that difficult. My daughter and her boyf are only earning just above the minimum wage but they moved in together last summer and seem to be managing fine.

    I wouldnt take any notice of what people say on facebook, Most of it is ego boosting narcissism and people rarely post about all the carp things in their life.
     
  19. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    Exactly so PM
     
  20. I had a Facebook cull last year because I was sick of reading about people moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having babies, etc. I now only have people I am actually in touch with on there and of course I still read about these lovely things but I already know about them because they are happening to my friends and I'm not being bombarded with "happy events" that are happening to people I never even see or speak to! Just a thought..... xxx
     

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