This might sound a strange suggestion, nosandals, but have you ever considered signing up for a counselling course? I found that I learned a lot about myself and what made me happy when I did that...and you meet people along the way and find yourself united by a common interest. I think those who say you've always been in a role have made a good point. You say you "lost yourself", but did you ever have the opportunity to "find yourself" in the first place? I find it interesting that you say your husband loves you and treats you well. Does his unwillingness to allow you other relationships and hobbies, and the withdrawal and sulking if you assert your own needs really demonstrate love or good treatment? I think your happiness and your own needs/ well being are important enough to fight for. Good luck.