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Imaginative excuses for not going in to work tomorrow

Discussion in 'Personal' started by MrsArmitage, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. MrsArmitage

    MrsArmitage Occasional commenter

    Other than ringing up and saying 'I won't be in tomorrow because I just can't be *****' - what more imaginative suggestions are there? I have a friend doing a note in my mum's handwriting...

  2. Something about the volcano in Iceland causing havoc with your drive to work?!
  3. Maybe ringing and explaining that I have am being pinned to the dining room table by my reports and assessment file, and therefore wont be able to get out from under them to get in to work??!!
    Although, we are off on our 2nd residential of the year tomorrow, so it would take a good excuse to get out of that!!
  4. Martian Death Ray pointing down you road from the spaceship that crashed into the village green - or similar. So you can't get out of the drive.
  5. Being distraught for which ever of these fine men doesnt win the French Open....
  6. At my old school rumour had it that a member of staff called in to say she had had so much sex over the weekend that she couldn't walk. Sadly, wasn't me. Before anyone asks.
  7. I might just stick with the simple (and believable); 'I forgot'.
  8. Dear HT
    Following our annual Vegetarian Society's trip to Northern Germany.....
  9. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Established commenter

    How about "I thought it was another bank holiday - sorry."
  10. 7 and 9 have both been used at our place more than once. And did they get their pay stopped? I very much doubt it...
  11. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    'I find turning in for 195 days a year a bit of an effort, so please feel free to dock my pay as I won't be dragging my lazy **** out of bed.'
    That probably just about summarises it, doesn't it?
  12. MrsArmitage

    MrsArmitage Occasional commenter

    I like the plain and simple approach of 'I forgot'!
    Or I could just go with the truthful 'I can't bear the toxic atmosphere borne out of a workplace full of mistrust, anxiety and stress, nor the fact that the threat of redundancy hangs over us all'. Nah, I'll just say I forgot!

  13. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Yes, this made me laugh [​IMG] It's so absurd. But apparently amnesia like this can be a big problem for some people, I seem to remember.
  14. the dog ate my car battery?
  15. Thank you Mr Council.... another week off....... thank lord because I haven't done one single report yet!!!! Ooops.... 7 days to go!!
  16. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    I lost my shoes.
  17. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    This reminded me of an episode of the mighty boosh which gets me every time:

    Howard: Come on then, let's have it. Every day you're late and every day another crazy excuse. What is it this time? Lego avalanche trapped you, did it? Your pajamas turned into nitrogen and you got stuck on the ceiling of your bedroom? Giant kingfisher came into your room and pecked you under the duvet? Got your jodphurs caught on a magic hedgehog? I write them down, you know. What is it? A scarecrow took you to Paris?

    Vince: I just had a few things to do, that's all.

    Howard: That's not funny. That's not even going in the book. That's awful.
  18. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I did meet a fellow teacher some few years ago who went in to work one day but looked and felt so ill the HT suggested the teacher go home and get well. Upon asking why the teacher looked and felt so ill was told it was the result of a lengthy session of Japanese bondage! The HT then said no way could the teacher go home for that reason and to sit it out!
    I have to admit I came home and googled 'Japanese bondage' [​IMG]
  19. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    Snowed overnight. Can't get the car out of the drive?
  20. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I nearly got to use 'blockaded at Calais by protesting French fishermen' one Easter but the lazy sods returned to shore each night from 9pm-6am so the ferries were able to do a quick night-time flit to Dover.

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