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I'm thinking of publishing a new teaching scheme...

Discussion in 'Primary' started by tafkam, Aug 24, 2008.

  1. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    Go on.. I dare ya! [​IMG]

  2. trinity0097

    trinity0097 New commenter

    [​IMG] Right should be fun :eek:)

    Something to do along with inset bingo on the first morning back!
  3. trinity0097

    trinity0097 New commenter

    We're missing something the Teaching...Big! website with free samples to download [​IMG]
  4. It also needs a song with actions, and puppets, and key cards and .... and it needs...... clear diagnostic assessment sheets to collect evidence that then will hold up to the 100% improvement in statistics that Teaching....Big! will have on standards!

    Oooh, I can hear the press gathering in anticipation already[​IMG]
  5. Can we have a franchise?

    The Teaching...Big! perfume to mask the smell of bull s*&t that is introduced in schools all over the land whenever the powers that be think we got our heads around something?[​IMG]
  6. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    Just checking if this works: Teaching... Big!®
  7. Can I be a consultant and run courses on Teaching - Big!! ?

  8. ges


    Then you can be part of Team Teaching - Big!!

  9. I'll buy it!

    But I insist on having tick sheets for assessment - one for each child, preferably with a million objectives on which have to be assessed with each child individually. I'd then like to be able to spend days inputting the assessment data and experience the wonder of being able to have it represented pictorally in a variety of ways at a click of a button (although even just a spider graph would be fab!). Although, I do appreciate that modern technology comes at a price (ie my sanity) and I'm aware that I may have to have several mornings spent phoning through to a support line when the systems crash.

    I also hope you've really thought ahead with this one and have already decided on the date when you will issue all of your 'lead schools' with an 'update' which will basically tell them to go back to what they were doing before because it works much better.

    Where do I sign?
  10. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    OK, stand aside you ******* who want to be 'consultants' for Teaching-Big!!

    We don't need consultants - we need AMBASSADORS!! I will be the Chief Ambassador.

    Regarding the website, this just needs to be a front page with loads of testimonials along the lines of 'Teaching-Big!! has transformed our school - never have Y3 boys written so much, so willingly. Our standards have risen astronomically.' Then just drop a few hints as to what Teaching-Big!! actually consists of ...... super-targets, daily motivational mantras, raisins and Mozart in the background. Then, and it's a big then, tell them NOTHING MORE unless they sign up for the 'Conference' which should cost, say £350 per attendee per day.

    I will be in charge of conferences south of Birmingham.

    What's next?
  11. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    That sounds perfect, Lardylegs - after all, if we truly have discovered a way of transforming children's education, it would do for any old teacher to get hold of that information without paying an appropriate fee.

    Would we need conferences north of Birmingham? Do they have schools there?

  12. chocolate.eater

    chocolate.eater New commenter

    What about the market research groups to all sit around eating and drinking and discussing 'Teaching..Big!'.....we could all be involved ... and get paid huge sums for our input that would then no doubt be completely ignored as the boffins in offices no far better and far more than the real teachers at the chalk face![​IMG]
  13. ges


    Hang on just a cotton pickin' minute. This is exactly the same as the Scheme Of Work we're using at the moment! All you've done is change the font and give yourself a different logo.

    It's ridiculous! It would cost us a fortune to junk our current scheme and buy into yours.

    On the other hand, the new font is rather darling.

    Hey, let's go for it!
  14. I run the school Cheerleading club. If we come and chant for you at all your product launch and promotional presentations can we be your partnership school and have lots of free resources?

    "Give me an R!"
  15. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    Lovely idea, but... there's no 'R' in Teaching... Big!
    Or are you proposing a catchy acronym beginning with R?

  16. It must have an acronym, preferably long (about 8 letters?) so that children can only remember it by thinking of a different, completely unrelated sentence about elephants, but can't remember what the letters really do stand for.
    And there has to be a cute character to go with each letter, available as clipart (extra to the main software - maybe £200 for a site licence?) so that lead learners can customise worksheets by adding the appropriate character.
    It should probably be colour coded too, perhaps using a different coloured sheet of paper depending on the activity. That will make photocopying nice and complicated.
  17. trinity0097

    trinity0097 New commenter

    Bah, none of the NQTs have taken the bait yet! [​IMG]
  18. Lol the "R" came from the original RightTeach.

  19. This is so funny!
  20. Conference sounds a bit of a one-off event. Think we may need whole set of workshops (say a minimum of 5) to be able to fully implement. Minimum cost £150 per head I should think. Now I could offer my services to run these workshops as an expert consultant of course!

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