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I'm suffering from a strange affliction

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Spanakopita, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. Spanakopita

    Spanakopita New commenter

    There's something odd about my diction.
    I talk but nearly every time
    I have to make my sentence rhyme.
    I'm wondering what I can do,
    So is there any help from you?
     
  2. So sorry you aren't well Nutella
    Try saying this until you're better!

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Most poems rhyme,
    But this one doesn't!![​IMG]
     
  3. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Thank you for your quick reply
    The fact you care has made me cry!
     
  4. Noja

    Noja Senior commenter

    Oh Nutella,
    I wish I could make you weller...
    Now think of ways to get rid of this urge,
    I can see it's leading you to the verge
    of madness...
    that is sadness...

     
  5. I had a classical education.
    It had its minuses and some pluses
    Because it's left me with a fixation
    [Pauses to allow nutella's cusses]
    To answer to each query with a sonnet,
    When that query is begged for as a rhyme.
    I know that there's a bee within my bonnet
    And possibly you think my post not worth the time;
    But bear with me because your point I'm seeing
    I'm just wond'ring if you got it right
    Because this forum is Health and Well-being
    And frankly your complaint just sounds like shite.
    I really can't help thinking that it is
    That you are just trying to take the piss.

     
  6. Oo-er. Apologies for the anomalous line 8!
     
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    To see you, Noja, is a joy.
    I hope that I can find a ploy
    To rid me of this dreadful curse
    Where everything must be in verse

    And, please excuse me if you will,
    you over- educated Lil,
    I cannot think it's come to this
    that you believe I'd take the pi$s

    What moi, the urine to extract?
    That's is a long way from the fact.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    *That is a long way from the fact*
     
  9. There was a young lass called nutella
    Who thought that she could have been weller
    We said what to do
    Was get a good seeing to
    From a hunky hung-like-a-horse fella.
     
  10. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    There's a middle aged lady called Lily
    whose advice in this case is plain silly.
    She believes all I need
    is a po ke from a steed
    who possesses an extra thick *****
     
  11. I hope that you ladies are smug and happy,
    You've made me spit Cava all over my lappy!
     
  12. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Here, birdstock, have this cleaning cloff
    To mop it up and wipe it off.
     
  13. Thanks muchly, Nutella
    You're really a star
    *A now quite pissed birdstock sways back to the bar*

     

  14. Good afternoon my dear Nutty
    Your predicament just isn't smutty. [​IMG]
    So with no more ado
    I'll say goodbye to you
    And go leer at the **** of Mc Hutty.*

    *Just for clarification. Mc Hutty doesn't exist. I made him up so he'd rhyme with 'smutty'. If he did exist he'd have a 10" appendage.
    But you already know that. [​IMG]

     
  15. A strange affliction?
    Gout perhaps? Housemaid's knee or quinsy?
    Dr bunty diagnoses
    "Acute attack of whimsy"
     
  16. lonneymiss

    lonneymiss New commenter

    Although I am no good at rhyme,
    To not try would be a crime.
    This week I have not felt quite so glad,
    But lots of laugh at this thread has been had.
    So I would like to say thank you,
    I'm off so will bid you adieu!
     
  17. This thread needs some class
    And so I offer to you
    My post in haiku.
     
  18. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Now, Lil, you're giving me the pip,
    such poems only work in Nip.
    In English they sound pretty grotty
    And make you look a wee bit potty.

    Doctor Bunty, you're quite wrong
    This thing has lingered for too long
    to be dismissed as something fey.
    I cannot make it go away.
     
  19. Hey muthafucka listen good
    Cos L.I.Ly is in the hood
    Imagine me with a massive booty
    Gyrating, wearing nuthin and gettin' fruity
    With a big sweaty black guy tryin' to look rich
    Who ends every line with the compliment "Bitch!"
    If that don't cure your urge for rhymin'
    Then my name ain't Nathaniel Simon.





     
  20. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    That mental picture makes me sick
    but sadly hasn't done the trick.
    The mere idea of Lily Rap
    comes across as hyper ****.
    I think what's happening to me
    Is constant rhyming OCD
     

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