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I'm pregnant and hate my partner!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by REM19, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. REM19

    REM19 New commenter

    Hi all,

    Sorry for the randomness of this but I need some advice off people who aren't emotionally attached to either my partner or I. I'm currently 11w6d pregnant and I actually think I hate my patner right now... everything he does irritates me and his life hasn't changed at all.
    Last year, I decided to join Slimming World to lose some weight. When I joined, My partner said he wanted to lose weight too, so he would eat the same meals. By Christmas, I had lost just over 3 stone and he had lost just under 5. We then signed up to do The Great North Run in September of this year. (Note: My idea, I signed us up for it and I paid our entry). My partner joined a running club and he is now obsessed with it Shortly after this, we found out I'm pregnant (something we've been trying for for years). The night I told him, he went out to his running club for 90 minutes whilst I sat at home. That upset me as I thought we could have celebrated in some way. He now goes out running 3 times a week and is still aiming for the GNR this September. I asked him if we could both postpone until next year but he refused saying he wanted to do it this year. I'm so upset! He recently messaged saying he's doing it in memory of his Grandma as he is running for the British Heart Foundation. I chose The Multiple Sclerosis Society as my dad and sister are sufferers so that felt like a right blow as if I was choosing not to do it.
    My midwife has told me to lay off strenuous exercise (including any jogging/running) as I am seen as a high risk pregnancy. It upsets me that he gets himself out 3 times a week - it's as if he's openly rubbing it in my face at every opportunity.

    On Saturday just gone, he woke me up at 7.30am as he was going to do a park run. I then spent the morning being sick and dizzy and he turned up back at home 3 hours later all happy with himself and plastering his achievements all over Facebook and Twitter. I'm really sick and fed up of it all - I feel I resent him more everyday! Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling like this.

  2. busby2

    busby2 New commenter

    Sorry your feeling this way. And it's tough when your partner does all the things you wanted to do but can't and goes out exercising a lot. (trust me, I get it. Hubby is aiming for an iron man next month in Germany & I'm 3 months pregnant).

    The best advice I can give you is, talk to him. He may not understand how alone you feel with this. And men don't get pregnancy the same as we do - we feel it, constantly thinking about how your action will effect the baby. They don't have that as they don't think about it quite the same. I'm sure if you spoke to him, he might be a bit understanding.

    And silver lining. If he does the GBR this year, he can look after the baby next year end you train and run it your self.
  3. scott1980

    scott1980 Occasional commenter

    It's hard exercising gives you an adrenalin rush which is probably why he is doing it. You are pregnant and the early stages before people know is tough. I didn't have sickness but I was emotional. I'm 26 weeks pregnant now and I found once we had the first scan it was much more real for my husband. Then the second scan helped him to start getting excited. I also found once he felt the baby kick it he started to sympathise with me more. In the early stages he was very much of the - don't get too excited whereas now we are probably more in sync. Don't do anything too rash as you are emotional and feeling poorly. Pregnancy is a long stint and you need support in your life. Talk to him explaining how **** you feel and talk to friends who have been pregnant as well. I also ended up having an emotional meltdown at work telling them when I was 9 weeks pregnant as I felt they were not understanding how I felt.
  4. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    Some things to consider:

    Once you have the baby, both doing the same run probably won't be an option. As Busby says, the deal might be that he supports you doing the run next year. If he doesn't do it this year, there might be more of an argument about it next year!

    Asking him to give up his hobby because you can't do it would be a shame for him - especially as it sounds as if it's had some very real health benefits.

    If you're feeling rotten with morning sickness, it's not unreasonable to ask that he does his runs in the evening so he can be around on weekend mornings.

    Talk to him about feeling miserable not being able to join in - perhaps he can slightly reduce his commitment, not go to the pub afterwards, ease off on the social media, make special times for you at other times.

    Find something you can enjoy while he's out for a run.

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