I've been with my husband for nine years - we've been married for two. In the past 9 years my husband has cheated on me with six different women - affairs ranging from one-night-stands to 6 month relationships where he (in his words) fell in love with the woman and had trouble getting over her. He is also works for a youth organisation which takes up all his time - a minimum of two nights a week plus some weekends (an average of 1.5 a month). When I try to initiate sex, he turns me down. He flirts with women via text-message - although he claims that asking them what colour underwear they're wearing is perfectly innocent fun. I know (know know know know) that he will cheat on me again, one day. Whether it's tomorrow or twenty years from now. We have no children. But I am having an affair. No, I am in love with another man. We are in love. He is sweet, kind, thoughtful, unassuming, responsible, sensible, clever, funny, protective and adores me, and I worship the ground he walks on. The only reasons I'm even thinking of staying with my husband are that 1) He would be upset if I left. He's seen a counsellor before for depression and I don't want to cause him serious damage. And 2) I don't want people to think badly of me for quitting on my marriage. Neither of these reasons involve 'I love my husband'. We've been together since I was 17 - I've never known anything else. I think we love each other out of habit and comfort, not love. So, my question is, am I just looking for excuses to have what I want (i.e. the man I'm cheating with) or am I right in thinking that, even without this man, my marriage is not my future?