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I'm finding it difficult

Discussion in 'Jobseekers' started by Dids, May 30, 2012.

  1. I've been in a permanent job now for 8 years in a nice school. My husband has been offered an amazing opportunity overseas for two years.
    I'm finding it really difficult to make a decision to walk away from a permanent job particularly when all you read at the moment is how difficult it is to get jobs etc..
    I know nothing stays the same and I also don't see myself still being at the same school for the next 20 years.
    I never realised this would be so emotional - has anyone else been through something similar?
    Would love to hear your thoughts.
     
  2. I've been in a permanent job now for 8 years in a nice school. My husband has been offered an amazing opportunity overseas for two years.
    I'm finding it really difficult to make a decision to walk away from a permanent job particularly when all you read at the moment is how difficult it is to get jobs etc..
    I know nothing stays the same and I also don't see myself still being at the same school for the next 20 years.
    I never realised this would be so emotional - has anyone else been through something similar?
    Would love to hear your thoughts.
     
  3. nixmith

    nixmith Established commenter

    I would advise caution....
    In 2008 my wife was having a tough time in her first HOD role and she persuaded me to relocate in the UK (midlands to the north west) so she could take up another HOD post & so she could live closer to family for child care reasons. I had been a secondary school class teacher for 14 years (passed all threshold levels) but had no ambitions for management.
    As she was the higher-earner in our realtionship,I handed my notice in and I tried to find a new job, it was very difficult - I was always up against 3 or 4 NQTs (cheaper to employ). I did a couple of short-term maternity jobs and eventually secured a new post in 2009, but in a very tough school that became an academy. Then things became really tough - Acadamies are very keen on NQTS (cheaper? more malleable??).
    I left that job and currently I enjoy work as a TA in Primary schools - I am doing this to get experience as I hope my future lies in the primary sector, but I fear it will always be on supply or short-term contracts.
    Plus, 18 months after we did the relocation, my marriage broke up and I recently found out that in Sept my wife starts a new job as a deputy head....
    So it did'nt work out well for me!
    N





     
  4. scienceteacha

    scienceteacha New commenter

    Where exactly is 'overseas?' If it's near Calais and you work in Kent, have you considered working in the week and living together at the weekend? Obviously if it's UK vs New Zealend or similar its a different kettle of fish!
     
  5. MissSci

    MissSci New commenter

    Yes i think i have been in a very similar situation. Just after I got married (7 months) my husband was offered a job in germany for 2 years.

    I had been in a school i loved for 4 years and decided that i was going to stay put - his job was only a 2 year contract and there were not any suitable jobs for me in the same area (i was not prepared to stay at home not-working in a foreign country with no friends/family).

    So i stayed put and he went. It was tough, i obviously missed him but we spoke every day on skype and the working week is always so busy that after about 3 weeks i readjusted quite well. We saw each other at least every 3rd weekend and it also meant mon-fri we could both concentrate on our jobs and then look forward to our weekends together. It kind of put the spark back into our relationship as we never had the ' you've not cleaned the bathroon' rows and we'd go off exploring europe by train at the weekends and stay in fancy hotels. It also meant we got to see our friends/family that we perhaps wouldn't do when we are spending weekends together as a couple, so was nice to have a bit of a change.

    That was 6 years ago. We are still married and now have 2 children. He ended up returning to the UK after 20 months. We've both been promoted several times (i'm actually still working at the same school i was then) and i think having some time to concentrate on our early careers but remain a couple worked in favour for both of us.

    Good luck, it's a tough decision but ultimately you don't want to jeopardise your relationship over your job - so talk to him and be honest, could you make it work the distance - after all a new job is easier to find than a new husband! (even in these times!)
     
  6. MissSci

    MissSci New commenter

    I have no idea why my paragraphs have merged in my previous post! Apologies.....
     

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