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If your OH told you to cut back your hours what would you do?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by kangaroo.poop, Mar 27, 2011.

  1. so i've been off work since xmas and am hoping that the time to go back is approaching.
    i do 40 hours a week split into 2 jobs. 1 x33 hour job and 1x 7 hour job. my main job is 8.30 -3.30 - in classroom and my other job is after school job til 5.30
    my boss has said when i go back i should just work my main job until i feel i can take on the other hours. My OH says that we need to spend more time together and that i should give up the 7 hours.
    We would like a house together at some point and i don't know what to say. I really enjoy my job but i feel i do need to achieve some balance
  2. Do you consider those 7 hours, on the money you earn from them, as more important than your relationship?
  3. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Try considering that your OH has said you NEED to spend more time together and balance that against the fact that you would LIKE a house together.
    It doesn't seem as though there is much of a dilemma here
  4. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    As an olde person working to keep a house going id say take your health and your family as high priority.
    Lots of folks rent and its not a shame.......only our modern society which seems to suggest that success is ownership of a property.
    You have to ask which do i want most...my health and then my Oh.or a job which probabaly pays you little and basically leaves you tired and stressed for the possible sake of paying it to a lender.
  5. my Husband asked me for quite a while to reduce my hours which I finally agreed to...and it felt great at first just working four days.
    Unfortunately, it's started to creep up that I'm just working really long hours on those four days, so effectively cramming five days work into four and being paid for 4!! Mad I know
    Anyway, after a gentle reminder from him this weekend I pledge to cut back on those mad hours, I'm actually sarting to feel quite under the weather so I do need to do this and as the man is always saying....if anything happened to me school would carry on it would be him that felt the loss most keenly!
    so maybe you should listen he's only got your best interests at heart
  6. I just don't want to be doing it for an underlying reason that ti have failed to realise or something.
    I just wish OH could find a few more hours and then i wouldn't feel guilty about it.
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Working till 5.30pm does not sound excessive to me unless you are then spending the evening doing class work.
    Many people work till 6, 7pm.
    I do understand though - teaching does really kill relationships if you spend too much time devoted to the work in the evening and the weekend.
  8. Why would or should you feel guilty about working 7 hours a week less?
    Think of the positives:
    You have been ill for a long time (so I gather). It is much better to phase your return to work anyway.
    You aren't really going to be losing that much money if working 7 hours less, in the grand scheme of things, but your health and mental well being will benefit greatly.
    Buying a house isn't the be-all-and-end-all - and give yourself some time. Renting is nothing to be ashamed or worried about and you may still buy in the future.
    You will have more time to spend together - your relationship deserves it.
    Above all, I would like to repeat - if you have been ill for a fair length of time - go back to work and take things slowly! Don't power yourself out straight away again and end up back at square one.
    Cutting down on your hours now, when it is the most sensible thing to do by all accounts, does not mean that in the future you won't have the energy or inclination to work full-time again.
    But you will have given your body, your mind and your relationship that time which you need now to readjust and reassess.
    And you have something that many do not have - you have a partner who is willing to support and even advocates you cutting your hours. That is caring for you - not determining your life for you. We have had posters on here who were desperate to cut their hours but whose partners were totally opposed to the idea!
    Be gentle on yourself - who knows what this time next year will bring! xxx
  9. Crowbob

    Crowbob Lead commenter

    You read too much into things.
    I would be worried if he was telling you to get out more as he wanted to be on his own. Get your work/life balance right and stop worrying about every small change in your life. Go with the flow [​IMG]
  10. Having reread your OP, to check I had not missed something vital, I see that not only your partner is advising you to cut the 7 hours, but your boss is as well.
    I think you are one lucky girl, to be honest. Your boss cares as well. Many don't!
  11. boss advises it short term and OH long term. i've to som extent reached my peak and would like to do something new. i don't want to be one of those little old ladies who works with small children and just wont admit she physically can't do it anymore. i'm 26 and its not an age but a health thing.
    i fell on friday and have probably set myself back a bit soon see as i have the hospital it the morning, a return to work doesn't look likely til easter now.
  12. Hi Kangaroo
    Your situation sounds similar to what happened to me a few years back. I had an accident, a lenghty stay in hospital. I made the decided not to return to teaching for a while (I had already handed in notice on first job and couldn't start second) worked in a office for a few months, dull but easy. Returned to work full time - without having to teach PE, Now working full time as reception teacher, with a young family. Taking my time to go back and only doing what I felt up to was, made it all possible. Good luck with whatever you decide.


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