1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

If only teaching posts were advertised with this honesty!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by BelleDuJour, Jan 20, 2019.

  1. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I found this ad on a horsey site on FB that I comment on. This is legit BTW.

    What if teaching vacancies, or indeed any vacancies in schools, were advertised with the same honesty!

    Potentially looking for someone to join the team. Must have experience in handling hormonal women, a highly strung puff and stallions and youngsters.

    Job entails usual yard duties, helping with the youngsters and breakers. I’ll still be the canon fodder.

    Handling stallions

    Be able to tack up and wash off horses

    Live in position available

    We have competition horses and competition stallions. I can’t stress enough the ability to handle horny horses during stud season is a MUST

    Contact me via FB or psychic medium

    PS a sense of humour is a must.
    PPS must love pigs but not sexually
    Must be able to stand own ground with geese
    Must give cuddles to goats

  2. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    One local school advertised for a deputy head who was "more Miss Honey than Miss Trunchbull" and was reprimanded by the local authority.
  3. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Was that job title "horse w*nker"?
    agathamorse and Mangleworzle like this.
  4. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    Is that because they thought the school needed a Miss Trunchbull? ;)
    agathamorse and Jamvic like this.
  5. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    We used to invent job ads at lunchtime at school while sat around.


    "Bog standard teacher required for bog standard school. Will turn up on time and take minimal time off, not interested in climbing greasy poles or coming up with initiatives for anyone else to do and add to their own cv. Must be likable to kids, parents and colleagues in the school, always good for a laugh and good at baking one particular item very well that they bring in for everyone a couple of times a year."
  6. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    We always said that job descriptions should also contain the clause "must be willing to have the handle of a broom shoved up their ar*e to facilitate sweeping up during moving around the premises"
  7. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Don't you just love the way schools are all looking for 'outstanding teachers'?
    Think about it......take your time.........
    nomad, Laphroig, agathamorse and 2 others like this.
  8. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    No, I'm not impressed. It's not that I don't have a sense of humour, but I think that honesty can be a straightforward advertisement, telling the teacher exactly what work they are advertising. I don't think it is the place to make fun of difficult pupils. Sorry for my frank opinion. I'd look for something more business-like.
  9. sadscientist

    sadscientist Senior commenter

    Given that they're probably paying tuppence ha'penny an hour (less board and lodging), applicants will need a sense of humour.
    agathamorse likes this.
  10. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

  11. irs1054

    irs1054 Star commenter

    Go to the interview in a pink dayglo jacket.
  12. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I don't get what you are saying.
    The ad was for yard staff in a stables.
    Nothing has been said about making fun of difficult pupils or have I missed something?
  13. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    That reminds of the winning scarecrow in the scarecrow competition at the local village fete.

    It was "outstanding" in its field.

  14. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    Oh, wake me up. It's been a hard day's night, ha ha - although I think some teenagers could be classed as noisy and lively stallions of course.
    Jamvic, Jesmond12 and BelleDuJour like this.
  15. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    I’ve never read a teacher vacancy that didn’t ask for an “enthusiastic teacher”? As if you would want an unenthusiastic one ? Although there are a lot of those about now, mainly due to exhaustion.
    JosieWhitehead and agathamorse like this.
  16. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    Brilliant advert. Can I apply;)
  17. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    agathamorse likes this.
  18. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    I'd rather that they advertised their 'enthusiastic bunch of students' instead.
  19. Oldfashioned

    Oldfashioned Senior commenter

    When I see an ad like this I'll definitely be applying. Why does nobody just want a teacher to teach?

Share This Page