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If I should ever.............. please kill me.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by magic surf bus, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    ..buy a Leonard Cohen album to cheer myself up

    ..start enjoying 'talent' shows or 'reality' TV
  2. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    ....weigh a piece of cake on 'diet' scales and cut of 6g .....it was barely a crumb...what harm would that do anyone....if I want to enjoy a piece of cake I'll blinking well eat it.....(I saw this done by someone on WW....honestly, 6g isn't going to ruin a diet!)....ditto weighing a banana....life is too short!
    ....go back to a wardrobe of entirely black/navy blue clothes
    ....stop removing my moustache!!! (I admit to having one occasionally! I have very dark hair, and a genetic disposition to face-fuzz....and the latest meds seem to encourage it!!!....but I do remove it whenever it starts to reappear!......I also have a wonderful brother who once suggested a transplant from my tache to my baldspot on the scalp!!!....I believe fratricide is acceptable in some cases! - and the tache is honestly not that bad!)
  3. veni_vidi

    veni_vidi New commenter

    Have a child and talk about it ALL the time, with such grand achievements as sleeping 5 hours straight and swallowing food.
    Watching soaps.
    Call my partner 'Babe' in anything other than a horribly sarcastic voice.
  4. bfudge69

    bfudge69 New commenter

    I'll do it for you if you will promise the same for me.

    .....start smoking again...
  5. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    ...... run out of anti bacterial hand wash ........
  6. Say "lickle" "toytoyse" or "fink"

    wear beige

    tell boring anecdotes over and over again........oh no too late load the gun.
  7. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Eggs did I tell you the one about the king who had three daughters, let me .............
  8. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    I believe that's quite an expensive hobby.

  9. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    Ask my mum where she got a particular item of clothing then consider getting one for myself.
  10. If I ever show any interest in the likes of TOWIE, Geordie Shore or Scouse Wives....finish me off instantly. I cannot believe these nobodies are becoming household names - to mo.rons who watch this dross. (I cannot believe I even know such dismal programmes exist - but there is no escaping them.)
    If I ever buy an overall. (I was considering this given any liquid or food I put to my mouth of late seems to spill down my front..) My Mum wore overalls...as did most housewives of the 50s and 60s and they were very practical garments.. I am already wearing big thick woolly socks around the house to keep me warm....an overall would complete the 'woman given up on herself' look.

  11. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    ... stop wearing make-up
  12. Ooh, that's another horror.
  13. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Start speaking to other women like they're children, just because I'm a mother.
    Someone on 'netmums has actually just told another poster to 'go sit on the naughty step' and I feel like clawing her eyes out [​IMG]. I also hate being referred to as 'mummy' by anyone other than my children.
  14. ...if I ever use the ridiculous word *cross* when I mean pure raging.
  15. ...if I ever offer builders tea in special cups reserved for tradesmen.
  16. ...if I ever offer builders tea in special cups reserved for tradesmen.
    Good grief - who does that?
    ...if I ever get a granny poodle perm
  17. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    Vote Conservative
    Watch "Big Brother"
    Call anyone "hun"
    Forget how great my job is and how lucky I am to have it
    Allow myself ever again to hate someone so much it consumes my life
    Get married again!
  18. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    Fancy David Cameron
    Drive a sensible car
    Wear elasticated waist trousers
    Buy clothes from the M and S classic range
    Listen to Radio 2

  19. kittylion

    kittylion Senior commenter

    Oh nooooooooooo - I'll fetch my gun
  20. There comes a time in every man's life when " no way am I shopping at M&S" becomes.." oh, I don't know , they are good quality and reasonably priced...and taupe is quite a nice colour."

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