1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

idoes anyone else find teaching so lonely?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by san38, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. san38

    san38 New commenter

    I am really trying to analyse why I so often wake up sad&dreading the day. My secondary school is quite a good one, kids not bad, lovely colleagues - but I never see them! I get to work at 7am. It's dark&cold, I see no-one until the kids get there, break duties/work means I only get to talk to other adults -if I'm lucky-in our 40min lunch. Very often people are just at meetings or detentions. Having worked prior to teaching in offices I really miss the chat, the banter, the,sharing of news. I come home tired, work/watch tv, go to bed - next day same again. Is it only me that finds this such an isolated and isolating job?
     
  2. san38

    san38 New commenter

    I am really trying to analyse why I so often wake up sad&dreading the day. My secondary school is quite a good one, kids not bad, lovely colleagues - but I never see them! I get to work at 7am. It's dark&cold, I see no-one until the kids get there, break duties/work means I only get to talk to other adults -if I'm lucky-in our 40min lunch. Very often people are just at meetings or detentions. Having worked prior to teaching in offices I really miss the chat, the banter, the,sharing of news. I come home tired, work/watch tv, go to bed - next day same again. Is it only me that finds this such an isolated and isolating job?
     
  3. I find it equally isolating sitting in a busy staffroom listening to people talk about things I have no interest in such as football, so I feel your pain but in another way
     
  4. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    For most of my full-time career I was a one person subject. I worked some of the time within another department consisting of myself and one other who wasn't especially sociable. I can fully relate to what you say, but I'm quite happy in my own company most of the time so it wasn't a major personal issue for me. However, I missed having worthwhile professional dialogues about what I was teaching, because nobody else understood the fine detail.
     
  5. Do you not chat to the kids?
     
  6. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Yes. Especially in a small school. Don't stay in your classroom all the time - if you can, make some time to chat to your colleagues. Hope you feel a bit better soon, espcially as the mornings/evenings get lighter.
     
  7. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    One of the great Problems of modern teaching is the lack of social life in the staff room .Now even in primary one is so busymarkingor preparing that they dont have time to come into the staff room for a cuppa and chat. there is to much attempt tpo make staff feel they shouldn't relax and enjoy,I also find young teachers often preder to sit in their rooms with a bottle of water instead of joining in.We used to have great life and chatter about all subjects with one rule..no one could be excluded ...so if you wanted the area private dont dicuss it in the staff room...all could join.I learned a lot about woman's complaints lol
    May be you need to see if you can develop a social life outside of the school.or evena school get together.

     
  8. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Secondary schools can be quite lonely as a result of their size. Most I've had contact with have their own departmental rooms and rarely go near the staffroom unless they're attending meetings or checking correspondance. Especially if one's dept is fairly small-often one's tea/coffee room is a cupboard!
    They <u>are</u> very different to offices with banter and chat etc., <u>but</u> we are, primarily, at school to pursue the needs and learning of the students. They are the important ones.
    Yes you come home tired, prepare lessons, mark books etc, go to bed. Probably give up a lot of our weekends, even part of our holidays on schoolwork too! That's why those of us who know the demands, recognise why we need to fight for 'our holidays', which we need; to recuperate and stock up energy for the next year. It's our relationship with our students, watching their successes and improvements that make this job so worthwhile. If you've 'lost' that it will be pure drudgery'.
     
  9. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    oldsomeman
    Oh I remember those days with fondness!
    We usually used to have at least one senior colleague, who'd taught many of the parents and knew all about the home circumstances, which helped us understand, why particular children were experiencing problems / playing up and help us better able to cope and help them. Heads used to regularly wander round schools and 'pop in' to lessons, so observations were much less informal and unthreatening. We all supported each other too!

     
  10. Not at all. Im Primary and my classroom is a route to other classrooms so staff frequently walk through. I get there at 7.30 but have ten mins in the staffroom chatting before children come in. Im lucky enough to always have a TA with me in my room. We have a small, close team of people and a fairly small staffroom so we have a giggle at lunch. And I always discuss issues/concerns/ideas etc with other members of staff. Not to mention the amount of social interaction I get from 28 six year olds! I have a partner at home too so am rarely alone.
    Actually Id quite like some 'alone' time now and then!!!
     
  11. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Yes I find teaching very lonely at times, especially because you have to be so careful what you say to who.
    My "best friends" at school tend to be TAs I work with; I am so appreciative of all they do and I think they are appreciative of the fact I am appreciative!
     
  12. I know exactly how you feel. When I started at my school. a large secondary school, I used to go home and cry! I had previously worked in fe and had many friends that used to chat in the staffroom and help me get through the tough days. In my school people tend to stay in their depts and I was a the only teacher of my subject so I sought solace in the smoking area (yes a place to smoke on the premises)! I made life long friends there and had the best laughs away from the staffroom. Having said that I now use it and more and more people drift in. You have to talk to evryone, not just teachers and you soon feel part of the place. It now takes me ages to get home as I have a chat with people at the end of the day. You often make friends on school trips or inset when you are teamed up with different people. Never eat alone in your classroom, persevere, it can take time, but it will happen, Give it time.
     
  13. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    A good TA is definitely a bonus in Primary where one tends to have the same one all the time, but as the OP is Sec. and the TAs tend to move around with the students one has less of a chance to raeally get to know them.
     
  14. Out TA's share the staffroom. One of my closest friends is a TA, however sometimes there is a conflict of interest. Our experiences in the classroom can be very different and sometimes I get really annoyed with some TA's 'holier than thou attitude' to some students. If I think a student is a little scr*t, I don't appreciate a TA frowning upon my attitude.
     
  15. san38

    san38 New commenter

    Thanks for messages. Do talk to kids but not the same of course. A small dept, no TAs in sight! Actually been here a few years& its getting worse. We have become 'outstanding' which seems to mean lots more work&no time for anything else. Maybe the extra daylight may help soon!
     
  16. I feel very lonely at times. I am naturally shy and it took me a long time to open up to other staff members. I live in a tiny town consisting of 80 residents (plus more in surrounding farm lands) which contains a pub and a general store.There is no night life. I had nothing to do at night and end up watching TV or DVDs every night.
     
  17. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Lara, there is really no need to be so patronising! I AM in secondary!
     
  18. We just become 'Outstanding' and its worse than ever! I do think this can be a very depressing time of year. I feel very gloomy at the moment. Didn't realise you had been at your school a few years. I do think its important to have a laugh at work, after all you spend most of your time there. I think I would have to think about moving schools. Sounds a bit drastic but it obviously matters to you and it does to me. Working hard for the kids is one thing but there has to more in life than just working hard. I suppose you could have one last try. Couldn't you suggest a keep fit or Zumba classes after school and get to know people that way? I'm smilimg while I type this, not sure if i would know how to start doing that! I wish you worked at my school you sound lovely and normal! Good luck with trying to liven up your school.
     
  19. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Mille excuses!
    Didn't mean to sound patronising. My own personal experience of secondary are that they're generally larger and more impersonal and TAs'here there and everywhere'.
     
  20. I've worked in secondary and primary. Secondary seems to be very big and it seems to be social around the various staffrooms around the school. I got on really well with the few staff in the library where I worked.
    Primary - well the staffroom seems to be very quiet at the moment as a lot of teaching staff seem to be stuck in their rooms working at breaktime. But I have worked in a reasonably unstressed school where we were quite social at break and play as a small staff. However - people can always seem to find time to go to people's classrooms for a chat.
     

Share This Page