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Idiots are doing the Royal Wedding commentary

Discussion in 'Personal' started by chocolatebox9, Mar 26, 2011.

  1. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    I think I'd prefer Keith Lemon to do the commentary
    Bang tidy
  2. Same here. What a dumbed-down line-up. Why?
    Commentary. "Oh look. She is right on trend. (Break here whilst this writer throws up.) She's wearin' dark blue Laboutins to die for.....and I just love that hat. OMG! Have you seen Posh's handbag?"
    If we have to have the wall-to-wall televising of this (historic?) event and others like it, then in order to not further insult our intelligence I believe seriously formal and accurate commentary is needed. I believe a royal wedding is one of those times when experienced, intelligent senior reporters ought to be at the helm. Only Huw whatsisname has any gravitas. Would the TV bosses employ Cotton and the like to cover a royal funeral too?
    "Oh smashing coffin. Looks really plush and expensive. Those white flowers on top ..what are they?...anyone know?...look well lush too. It's lovely the way royals all wear black and look serious. Awwww...did you see that old lady in the crowd crying. It is sad I think."

  3. There's a thought. Seeing as the BBC is paid for by us, why don't we tell them who we want?
    We could have:
    The man off Come Dine with Me
    Terry Wogan and Graham Norton could do it Eurovision style
    John McCririck could give us the odds on them splitting up within the year and do that funny sign language

  4. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    I was thinking of Graham Norton too.

    How about Dale Winton doing a Supermarket Sweep around teh wedding gifts and Anton du Beke shouting "bring on the wall" as a giant sheet of polystyrene glides down the length of the Abbey?
  5. If they need a younger presenter they could use one with a brain who is worth looking at, like Dan Snow. (I get the feeling though that he would decline this job.)
  6. Doesn't he do stuff about wars?
    "As Her Maj and Mrs Middleton square up for a fist fight over who is paying for what and the Duke of Edinburgh causes a diplomatic incident by asking who forgot to invite that nice chap Mugabe, a footman mistakenly harnesses up Camilla to draw the wedding carriage..."
  7. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    My gut instinct is to say that frankly it is all that the event deserves. We've come a long way since Charles and Di got wed back in 1981 - subsequent events blew the royal wedding as an event of cultural significance out of the water. I do believe that once the Queen passes on the royal family will finally fall from grace; it is only due to her outstanding personal qualities that the insitution of the monarchy still has any substance to it in our society.
  8. Andy_91

    Andy_91 New commenter

    They're all bright enough and I like Edith Bowman's presenting. At least the Dimblebores are getting too old for the gig. I've been trying to avoid them and their like and Royal debacles since 1953, when I reached down to release the push-chair brake in a futile attempt to roll to my doom to get away from the broadcast (there were just too few cars on the Kingston by-pass in those days).
    Anyway Vernon's texting pales into insignificance next to the dalliances of Phil the Greek, Margaret, Snowbum, Chazza, the one that looks like a horse, Andy, DI (caught on CCTV with JH, Fergie etc etc
    Anyone want to bet a CPI linked tenner that it's over by 2015?
  9. Anyone want to bet a CPI linked tenner that it's over by 2015?
    Yes. Me.
    The present trend suggests that the marriage will not last but I will give it longer than 2015.
    I don't harbour any resentment for either of them being young, in love and loaded. I wish them well. Prince William didn't choose his parents or social circumstances, even less than you chose your stepchildren. I see no reason to be snide just to score a tired and passé class point.
  10. Andy_91

    Andy_91 New commenter

    No you wouldn't. Snideness is clearly never part of your repertoire.

    When I win, please donate the tenner+index-linking to:

  11. I'll just have a look at it first.
    You seem more than usually irritable this evening. Don't feel bad about taking it out on complete strangers. We're here for you.
  12. Andy_91

    Andy_91 New commenter


    Like claviceps purpurea instigating gangrene?
  13. I thought it was a pest of cereals?
    So you seem more irritable but by your own estimation you are just the same amount irritable as usual.
    Robert Burns had something to say about that.
  14. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    *ignores handbags at dawn*

    I'm very happy to say I couldn't care less who does it: I'll be on a plane to Holland. I'm grateful to them for choosing that date though as I can now celebrate Queen's Day without having to take any annual leave from work.
  15. Andy_91

    Andy_91 New commenter

    It is.

    But I thought you used to be a food tech/home ec teacher

    Do some homework.
  16. to regard being a vacuous pillock as promotion.
  17. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    CHOKLIT??????? [​IMG]
    I'm 'orrified. Do u weally giv a munkeys about this royal thingy?

  18. One small monkey, who is thinking about his next banana.
    I just like things dun proper.
    Fearne'n'Verne aren't the people for the job.
  19. Whilst I don't necessarily give a rat's back bottom about the royal wedding,per se, I'm distraught that Dimbleby won't be commentating. I thought it was The Law that he commentated on all Royal Weddings!


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