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I think I hate my job

Discussion in 'New teachers' started by annavh, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. Does anyone else feel the same?
    I feel really guilty for saying this but I have come back after half term and I genuinely feel like I cannot go in everyday and I'm arriving later and later each day. I hate every minute of each day and I'm just ticking time off all the time. I have run out of ideas for making my lessons interesting and I am constantly searching for new ones but I feel totally drained. In my school my subject is grossly unpopular and I'm trying really hard to make them like it and I now resent my job as it has taken over my life. I get home from school at 7 and I then plan and mark until midnight and get up at six. I am so tired all the time that some days I feel ill.
    I also have some very difficult classes, one in particular who I have 5 times a fortnight are particularly vile and have learnt nothing this year. SMT have been supporting me, but my mentor hasn't. She constantly says that they are not a nightmare class and that I should be able to control them. On thursday she really criticised my teaching and my imposing silence saying that she felt sorry for them! I was so angry. I feel like all I ever do is moan, but I cannot continue with this, not least as my health will suffer soon if not already. Will this feeling pass? Is this just winter blues?
    Anna
     
  2. Does anyone else feel the same?
    I feel really guilty for saying this but I have come back after half term and I genuinely feel like I cannot go in everyday and I'm arriving later and later each day. I hate every minute of each day and I'm just ticking time off all the time. I have run out of ideas for making my lessons interesting and I am constantly searching for new ones but I feel totally drained. In my school my subject is grossly unpopular and I'm trying really hard to make them like it and I now resent my job as it has taken over my life. I get home from school at 7 and I then plan and mark until midnight and get up at six. I am so tired all the time that some days I feel ill.
    I also have some very difficult classes, one in particular who I have 5 times a fortnight are particularly vile and have learnt nothing this year. SMT have been supporting me, but my mentor hasn't. She constantly says that they are not a nightmare class and that I should be able to control them. On thursday she really criticised my teaching and my imposing silence saying that she felt sorry for them! I was so angry. I feel like all I ever do is moan, but I cannot continue with this, not least as my health will suffer soon if not already. Will this feeling pass? Is this just winter blues?
    Anna
     
  3. Anna,

    I feel the same. My NQT year finishes at the end of this term and today I was ready to chuck it all in. I stood there in front of my class who were ignoring me and thought "I don't want to do this anymore." I don't know what to do. I've wanted to be a teacher since I was 4. My head teacher is a changable, manupulative woman who I can no longer trust (VERY long story) and I feel like I'm drowning. Having said that, having a rant helps and no doubt there'll be something to make me smile tomorrow =) After all, a bunch of 7 year olds are very interesting people. lol. Just wish they'd be quiet so I didn't have to be grumpy with them ALL the time.

    I hope your situation gets better. You're not alone. x
     
  4. Anna,

    Probably suggesting you suck eggs here, but have you tried positive behaviour reinforcement? I don't know what age you teach, but I guess secondary if your talking about subject. I would suggest you don't give up too soon... It may just be the situation your in right now, and nothing to do with your teaching.

    I have 7 year olds (lots of behaviour issues) and I really struggled at the start of my NQT year as all the behaviour/ reward sanctions I learnt during my training are basically banned at my school. So I have had to adapt. We are not allowed to give them tangible rewards, so I have moved to positive reinforcement. When they are constantly chatting (sitting waiting with a sad face doesn't work) I draw a smily face on the board and write the names of the children who are sat ready to learn. I always talk about learning with them and how their brains are muscles etc etc. and how you need to let everyone have a chance to use their muscles. I also have them in teams for various things (mixed abilities) and the team that collectively does the best job at sitting, lining up, working together gets to be the first to line up for break, or give out the milk (they love that job for some reason).

    I appreciate it may be difficult with secondary, but you just need to find something that they can relate to. Maybe music, sport, TV programmes, and tie your positive reinforcement into that.

    Also, I always let them know what I expect from them in each learning situation and what they need to do to be successful. I also, tell them that I can either be grumpy or happy teacher, and happy teacher does much more fun learning.

    You could also try letting them lead their learning - what do they want to find out, and how can you work that around your learning objectives.

    I would say don't give up - talk to SLT about support and training you want (they get funding for you to do this as an NQT) at the end of the day it's in the schools interest that your well supported, have access to training and are an effective teacher as a result. It's all about the learning in the end.

    Try to remember the reasons you went into teaching, and no matter how hard try to be a bright shinning light. If your positive they are more likely to respond in that way.

    I hope you feel better about it all soon.
     
  5. I did during the 'proper' winter months but i think that was due in part to the weather and that Sep-Dec seem slike along hard term. I finished my NQT year two weeks ago but accepted a place on a law conversion course yesterday. I'll see out the year here then move on. I'm fed up with this nonsense.

    At my old school I hated the fact that they did not value education (nor did a lot of the parents) and reuslts were fabricated. The lessons themselves were exhausting.

    Here, at a very high performing grammar school, the lessons themselves are (usually!) a joy (apart from on every boy heavy group) but I have onyl recently managed to cut back from working 0745-1945 every day (plus bits and bobs at the weekend) to leaving at 1845 (most days...) so a 55 hour week and exoectattions for feeding high numbers into Oxbridge / Russell Group unis and making sure 95% acheieve an A or an A* at GCSE come hell or high water. I just find the sheer volume fo work created by 210 intelligent people a bit of a nightmare to keep on top of (and before anyone says otherwise, if there's one thing I WILL say I'm good at is time management and organisation).
    It's a shame to be leaving in some ways because i've had nothing but very good reports from my HOD and SMT here and I get on brilliantly with the 90% of the pupils but my heart's just not in it.

    Incessant e-mails (an hour's worth per day which I've come to see as my 'break' after school), NEVER leaving my room for lunch because of drop-in queries, teaching to the test to keep at the very top of league tables, micro-managing the few pupils who cannot be bothered, dealing with pushy parents, following a bizarre syllabus, Orders every six / seven weeks (for 200+ kids), constant bells and assemblies and pastoral duties (I am NOT a parent! Although doing this job has made me think it's maybe something I could do reasonably effectively...)

    I'd suggest leaving annavh. My heart feels light since the news yesterday. The stress can wash over me. You have to look after Number 1 - nobody else will! All the best.

    Now, back to those A Level essays...
     
  6. Apologies for numerous typos above. Tiredness...
     
  7. I was just listening to a colleague of mine say something like, "I had a lovely day on Thursday, my year 11s were lovely, my year 10s cracked me up, my year 8s were amazing too," or something ilke that. I realised I have never once had a day that I've actually enjoyed all the way through. I've had moments here and there but I have never ever had a day that has gone really well. And it is impossible to get away from: there is always something (or a million things) I haven't done, and I'm really tired all the time. To top it all I might fail my NQT year. It's not that I even want to be a teacher any more, but I still don't want to live with the indignity of having failed for the rest of my life!
    Your mentor sounds like a bit of a b*tch. Sounds to me like you are a committed and very hard working teacher and she should cut you some slack. Did she have any positive comments or practical suggestions? If not, how did she ever pass her NQT year if she hasn't grasped the fact that constant criticism is not a good way to help people learn?
    4 weeks 3 days to go...good luck [​IMG] you are DEFINITELY not alone
     
  8. Thanks to everyone for all your helpful advice, it's good to know that I'm not the only one! I'm trying hard to see the positives each day and to cut back on my hours, but it's not easy! Unfortunately things did get a lot worse with my mentor this week but I've decided to stay at this school for no longer than 2 years. I'm putting my mentor probs in another thread. Thanks again for all your help and support!
     

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