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I have no friends! :(

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lillipad, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    I really genuinely don't! There is one friend who I see occassionally, but she is very much all about having lots of different friends, and never invites me to join, and even if I do ask, she will say that she's off out with someone else... So I only really see her when it's just me and her. I don't actually know anyone else. I know people on here are going to tell me to join a club, but where I live, there isn't a lot going on so there's not much room for movement. I just wish I knew some more people. I sometimes look through my 'facebook' friends for someone to meet up with, but there is no one who would make time! Am so lonely, I get home from school and just carry on working usually but am so miserable and lonely with it :(
  2. Sorry to hear that Lillipad. Not got anything revolutionary, but what about a night class? Or volunteering? Or join a gym or do an exercise class?
  3. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    (lIlipad) - from a non higher, but I think you need one!
  4. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    Hugger not higher. Grrr
  5. mychuck

    mychuck New commenter

    Arched Eyebrows - sorry for the delay in replying. Your poster's picture of the smiling cat was on a greetings card in Morrisons.
  6. Do a course on something you're interested in or join a club/society.
    You will have a ready-made interest and topic of conversation. I'm a big fan of doing courses and am still friends with someone I met on one ten years ago.
  7. It always seems to me that as soon as people have established that the friend/man/woman of their dreams is not actually attending the class, they drop it as soon as possible.
    I don't lack for social company or people I can call on in an emergency but there are very few people who understand what makes me tick, who know exactly what i'm likely to be thinking or feeling. Only my brother really. As we get older I have real fears about losing him to the Grim Reaper.
  8. bnm


    "Friend" is a funny word, full of emotion.
    I have quite a number of people I can go out for lunch with, go to theatre with, have a coffee or general chit chat with. These are people I have met through local societies. I would call only 1 a friend though, and not an especially close friend.
    Aside from mr bnm I am fortunate in having 3 sisters who would put me up for a month at no notice, lend me lots of money no questions asked, chat for 3 hours on the phone, go on holiday with, and to whom I would tell the secrets of my heart (mostly). I don't have anyone I would call a friend at that level.
    My 2 brothers, on the other hand, of whom I am extremely fond, I would not communicate with or feel as comfortable with as I do my sisters.
    I think if I had more time, more loneliness or fewer sisters, I would invest more time and emotion in the people described in my first paragraph.
    We have different needs of friends at different stages in our lives. When I was lonely I joined lots of things. Most didn't produce friendship...some did. It takes time and effort to make new friendships.

  9. Now this might not suit you, but, I got to know loads of people through working in the village pub, when I lived in a very rural area. It was during the summer before I started my pgce and I was older than you are now! All the other casual staff were about 18 but at the time, needs must and we had a laugh along the way.
    If you are in a rural location, there might be some nice pubs near you that attract locals. You then get invited to stuff they do - the local I worked at went to the races, weekends to Dublin and went to gigs/concerts in cities, local bbqs and birthdays. These were all organised by the locals and then there's always the stuff going on in the pub like quizzes, darts etc, which once you know people who do these things, you can then join in! I had to give up working there when I started my PGCE, but if could have done, I would have done the odd shift and the cash is always handy.
    Doing this changed my whole perspective on where I lived, people used to stop in their cars to say hello and a quick chat when driving past my garden (it was a quiet area), whereas previously I didn't know a sole!
    Good luck
    Like I said, this suggestion might not suit. And I would recommend a proper local with a good landlord who has a friendly relationship with the locals.
    Good luck. Agree with previous comments about gyms, my theory is that people get annoyed when other people are using their gym, so would never dream of striking up a conversation with you.
  10. take a look at citysocialising if you haven't already

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