I'm sat here crying right now I just feel so overwhelmed. I still have marking and planning to do for tomorrow but I feel sick to the bone when I look at it. I am a mature NQT, I have had jobs involving very long hours and a lot of resonsibility in the past, but this might just break me. I have realised that I am never going to get through all the work I need to for the year 11 exams in January, and I've mislaid two year 9 assessments due to teaching in 5 rooms in one day - somehow they've got mixed up with someone elses work and I just can't find them. I am just going to go in tomorrow and confess all and ask for help - I simply can't carry on like this til July. I feel constantly sick and I can't sleep at all, I'm constantly on the verge of tears in school and most of all I'm crippled by a fear that I'm messing up these children's chances. I swing between feeling angry with myself for being incompetent and angry with the situation where I am left virtually unsupported with no-one to discuss long-term planning etc with, which is how the year11 situation happened - I'm pretty sure no-one knows how behind I am with them. I don't know what I expect to get from this - just feeling really alone at the moment and like I've really let down my pupils and my school. I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong school or the wrong job, but I know that no job should affect my quality of life so much even if it's a vocation, not just a job. I just can't let go of school at the end of the day.