Thanks all for your replies to my previous post when I asked for advice. I have tried to give it a few more weeks at the school but I feel like I am really too stressed out and going to fall apart any minute. For those who aren't familiar with my last post - I started this job in September and by day three I was sobbing my heart out because I felt like I had made the worst mistake and I felt so stressed already. I need to say that I have suffered from some sort of anxiety in different forms since I was a child so I am aware that I take things to heart and get stressed out when others wouldn't. However, I feel like my current environment is making me ill. It's not that it's a terrible school - the staff have been mostly supportive and friendly. The students are mostly okay. I really enjoy teaching - I like the classroom, I like the subject. However, I am exhibiting behaviour that is worrying me and it stems from the feeling of being watched all the time - the book looks, lesson observations, a colleague ratting on me to my boss because he thought I wasn't getting through material quickly enough and then been hauled into a meeting. First, the book looks - we had one recently and I know that my books aren't marked as well as they should be and that I haven't ticked all the boxes as a brilliant (or probably even satisfactory) marker. I heard my manager talking about another set of books that they had just checked that another colleague had handed in and the conversation went something like "he hasn't marked the books at all" (said in a conspirational whisper) and I'm just letting you know so that you can, in a supportive way, keep an eye on him and make sure it's getting done. Now I know that will be the case with my books too ... I'm so tired of this ... I feel like I'm on tenterhooks all the time waiting to be told the next thing I'm not doing in enough detail and having someone watch me (in a supportive way!) to make sure it gets done. There's another book look coming up and I share a class with another teacher for this KS4 class - I checked their books and they have much more marked work from the other teacher than me. I look shameful. I'm tired of feeling so useless because I'm starting to believe maybe I am. Maybe I'm not a good teacher - perhaps I have been deluding myself. I feel sad about this all because actually I do enjoy teaching and I try my best for the kids I think ... but, according to the current system, I'm no good. Now, the reason for the 'I don't think I can continue' post title - I feel like I am heading towards a nervous breakdown. I am not taking care of myself properly, I never bother with make up anymore etc etc. Students come running past my classroom banging on the window and I feel like I am going to flip, when I walk through the school and students scream at the top of their voices I also feel like I'm going to flip. My heart starts beating faster and I feel like I'm just going to fall apart. I find myself going into a daze for no reason and sort of realise after a while that I have bene completely zoned out. I start saying aloud before a certain class "please let me get through this", "please let me get through this" over and over again. Bad behaviour in the class is something I feel like I cannot control anymore and I feel like I don't care that much ... and when a kid does something naughty or is really rude I feel my whole body tensing and again I feel like I am going to freak out. So, lesson obervations, book looks etc. and the feeling of being watched all the time and yes, it is the way I perceive it, perhaps I should just accept it and get on with it but i don't feel like I can. I woke up crying yesterday, I went to sleep crying the night before. I drag myself to work. I'm only happier when I leave. I really am not feeling like I am coping. I'm posting because I feel ashamed - I feel like I have to take time off or get signed off because I feel like I am falling apart - but, I don't want to let colleagues down, I don't want to let the students down. I feel so guilty - I feel like maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to work. I don't think this is the case though. I need to leave this school because it's not for me. My anxiety condition, coupled with a recent bereavement, coupled with the unrelenting stress of everyday is driving me mad (I feel like it). But i feel guilty. I don't want to go back to this school because I don't feel like I will cope. But, like I said, I feel so guilty as I don't want to let people down and feel like I should just accept things and stop fighting. However, I don't want to accept being micromanaged constantly because it makes me feel like an utter failure and that I'm no good at my job (even though the micromanaging is done in a "supportive" way). If I leave teaching what will I do - that also scares me. My family think I should leave. My doctor is of the opinion that I am grieving from my recent bereavement - I think I was coping with this ok until all the stress of the new job compounded it. So, I don't really know what I'm looking for here. I'm entitled to sick leave but I've had sick leave off for stress before at a previous school - so, again, I feel like it's me and I should just accept it. I'm really battling to get my thoughts in order and feel like I'm not making much sense here. All I know is that I can't go on like I am as I feel like I'm falling apart. I have been to my GP (numerous times), I have tried medication, I'm on the waiting list for counselling but I think it's all down to where I'm working and having to put up with crazy stress and expectations every day. Thanks for taking the time to read. I feel a bit selfish because I have posted twice and never offer advice on other people's workplace dilemmas.