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I don't know how long I can carry on

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by sugababes, Mar 11, 2012.

  1. sugababes

    sugababes New commenter

    These are just my thoughts, don't really know what I expect people to say.
    I am finding the job very hard at the moment, as I sure are many others. I have been in my current school for 6 years, this being my second year in Y2.
    My problem is that I never feel as if I am on top of things, I constantly feel as if I am only just keeping my head above water and at any moment will sink. I can not cope with the constant introduction of new things to do/changes to the way we currently do things, constant scrutiny of books, planning and lessons. I work in an inner city school, children come in at very low levels yet we are expected to achieve at least national averages. There is no recognition of what we as a staff do well, rather a criticism of what we don't do well enough. For example, chn in my class have improved the content of their writing but all that is mentioned is that their presentation isn't good enough. I have to hand my books in more regularly so that SLT can see expected improvement.
    I am dreading going to work tomorrow. I am trying to finish my planning now as I spent yesterday decorating my house (complete refurbishment as need to sell to move in with partner) and dared to have some time with my partner today. I had a lovely day but had a constant black cloud hanging over my head. I am starting to feel quite panicked now.
    I have parents evening tomorrow and know that at least two of the parents coming to see me will have something to complain about, all because chn are SEN and I have trusted certain things to their support (e.g. reading books - assuming support would tell me if reading books was too easy/hard).
    I am also taking part in a year long course to become a maths specialist teacher and had an assignment due in 1st March. Not done yet, am behind with reading and work for course.
    I honestly feel like giving up, partner is understanding but doesn't really know what to say to me and is a little fed up with have a miserable, stressed partner! Don't know what else I would do as I don't think I'd be any good at anything else. Apparently I'm not very good at teaching but I did love my job not too long ago.
    Sorry, don't know what this will achieve but thank you for listening.
     
  2. sugababes

    sugababes New commenter

    These are just my thoughts, don't really know what I expect people to say.
    I am finding the job very hard at the moment, as I sure are many others. I have been in my current school for 6 years, this being my second year in Y2.
    My problem is that I never feel as if I am on top of things, I constantly feel as if I am only just keeping my head above water and at any moment will sink. I can not cope with the constant introduction of new things to do/changes to the way we currently do things, constant scrutiny of books, planning and lessons. I work in an inner city school, children come in at very low levels yet we are expected to achieve at least national averages. There is no recognition of what we as a staff do well, rather a criticism of what we don't do well enough. For example, chn in my class have improved the content of their writing but all that is mentioned is that their presentation isn't good enough. I have to hand my books in more regularly so that SLT can see expected improvement.
    I am dreading going to work tomorrow. I am trying to finish my planning now as I spent yesterday decorating my house (complete refurbishment as need to sell to move in with partner) and dared to have some time with my partner today. I had a lovely day but had a constant black cloud hanging over my head. I am starting to feel quite panicked now.
    I have parents evening tomorrow and know that at least two of the parents coming to see me will have something to complain about, all because chn are SEN and I have trusted certain things to their support (e.g. reading books - assuming support would tell me if reading books was too easy/hard).
    I am also taking part in a year long course to become a maths specialist teacher and had an assignment due in 1st March. Not done yet, am behind with reading and work for course.
    I honestly feel like giving up, partner is understanding but doesn't really know what to say to me and is a little fed up with have a miserable, stressed partner! Don't know what else I would do as I don't think I'd be any good at anything else. Apparently I'm not very good at teaching but I did love my job not too long ago.
    Sorry, don't know what this will achieve but thank you for listening.
     
  3. snoopycat

    snoopycat New commenter

    Please don't think you're a poor teacher!
    I would guess 99% of teachers feel the same as you do. Especially on a Sunday night.
    I know what you mean when you say you dared to have some time out with your partner this weekend! Most of my weekends follow a similar pattern.
    All I would say is don't panic!! Take things in your stride if you can.....calmly. This job is not 9 to 5 and never will be. The job is never done, it just rolls on. It's all 'work in progress'. Please just take one job at a time. All things will pass, as Parents evening will. Children's reading is 'getting there'.
    Have a good night's sleep, it will do you more good than worrying about it.
    My best wishes.
     
  4. You need to find ways to prioritize and relax, knowing you do what you can and that's all you can do. It's important to relax and avoid burning out. You will be a better professional for it if your head is clear. I felt that pressure before but I no longer teach in the UK. If I had stayed in the UK, I was considering going part-time, certainly until I learned to relax more.
    The sad reality is that I think it's the same in many workplaces in the UK and especially in teaching so you need to find your ways of dealing with it. Maybe you could also see a doctor about stress or anxiety.
     
  5. Can completely sympathise with this! Feeling guilty for trying to have a life... It's difficult to explain tho those who are not teachers, just how consuming the job is! :-(
     
  6. So sad but scarily true.
    Here we all are, professionals being treated as untrustworthy charlatans who need to evidence every judgement made for the sake of other people - not the children.
    I was teaching overseas for 8 years in some pretty hardcore private schools, but I was trusted to do a good job and spent most of my time working on things which would benefit my class NOT an inspector..... this constant paperwork, checklist dating etc is seriously putting me off my beloved profession, after 13 years of absolutely loving it.
    I know where you're coming from
    No answers I'm afraid but there must be some solace in the fact that you are not alone :)
     
  7. That's the way I feel about the profession, there aren't any answers. This is the way the career is, and it shouldn't be and there are many many improvements to be made, but realistically, is that really going to happen?



    I changed careers and went into something totally unrelated, and started again from the beginning. My wage has dropped and I'm struggling to get qualifications in my new area now I'm older and have a family and bills... but it is definitely worth it!
     
  8. I know I am just repeating what others have said, but reading your post was like reading my own mind! I have recently been signed off with stress and am still finding it hard to relax and stop worrying about work. I am trying to re-evaluate my situation and think about how I can change things for the better, but who knows? Not much help I know, but just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one and that I am thinking of you! xx
     
  9. I am thinking about you. From an ex-teacher who understands.
     
  10. sugababes

    sugababes New commenter

    I want to say thank you for all the responses - I didn't expect any!
    Its taken me this long to get back on and have the time to write a reply. I don't feel as bad as I did the last time I posted but I don't feel that much better.
    On a plus note, I think my head actually noticed! He asked me if I was ok as I didn't look too cheery. Slowly feel like I am beginning to get some of my huge to do list done - if I can just keep my head above water until Easter I might be able to catch up (as much as any of us do lol!)
    Thank you again, talking just made it feel like a little less of a huge problem.
     
  11. yep... agree with al the comments- you need to grow a damned thick skin and let yourself get involved in 'hot nights' with that poor partner of yours. There's more to life than planning sheets and correct presentation. You did say your kids are year 2 !!
    Then what the heck does it matter if their presentation is not perfect - they are young kids and you are their teacher and nothing matters in the long run but that you interact with them where they are and you interact with them as a human being.
    Come in every now and then with nightburn; a heavy head but a light heart, - can't follow the detailed plans - leave them in the folder - annotate 'creatively' if you have to- read them a damned good story - let them draw, doodle and digress- they'll love you for it. You might get some creative new pathways. Your partner willbe happier - he(she) will know there's more life between the bedsheets than there has been up to now between the planning sheets.! If SMT are stressed out, uptight, slightly frigid, long dried-up, then take heed, don't do your best to be like them - be different.
    FInd short-cuts, invent, adapt, copy, but above all enjoy your kids, their progress will be incomparable - but you won't really be comparing them anyway as you won't have time - you'll have better things to do. Set your own priorities, create your own values - you are the human being who has chosen to be a teacher for your own reasons- you want to give it some of your life - not to take your life.... Disagree with those who suggest that it is reults, results, results, life is not for the swift - you've got a long way to go in this old jalopy of yours - don't try to flog it because someone thinks they know how to drive it quicker- when they don't really know the destination any better than you.........
    So I am just going to get that backless nightie and crack open that bottle of inspiration I put in the cooler - it's Monday after all- now where is that partner of mine - hang on boy - teachers coming.......I need some hands on help with my APP and AFL .. .... [​IMG]
     
  12. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Is there someone you trust at school to talk to? Another teacher or someone in SMT? Maybe they might come up with a way to help? You need to tell someone.
    I can think of two occasions where I spoke up and said I wasn't coping. The first instance - the other teachers in my year team all insisted on taking from me some English assessments that had to be marked and did them for me. And another time (in a different school) the head gave me extra PPA time to help me get planning sorted. (I was covering a maternity leave in a school new to me and the teacher had left no plans at all for any subject). I wasn't expecting either response but felt so much better that these lovely people wanted to support me. If I hadn't said anything then nothing would have been offered.
    It might be worth a try.
    Do look after yourself.
     
  13. The powers that be have made loving your job an unrealistic ideal now. Just go to work and get your money and whatever doesn't get done will wait till tomorrow. Very sad state of affairs, but not our fault. Take care.
     
  14. Nice reply P25!
     
  15. Yohanalicante - enjoy the inspiration (REALLY nice post btw good on ya!!)
     
  16. I think there are many people feeling this way at the moment, especially since the Ofsted changes and the unknown expectations. I am in the SMT and unfortunately we get grief from above and then have to pass that on to class teachers, LSPs etc. It really is a scary time in education and I have seen many people leave the profession under the pressure recently. Speak up and let them know you're feeling swamped. With the added stress of moving house, I'm sure they can cut you a bit of slack!
     

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