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I couldn't face it...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Marshall, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    ...the interview.

    It's too soon and as soon as I made the decision the relief was enormous.

    Thank you everyone for your comments and encouragement but in the end it was too soon. I should have listened to my youngest (and favourite!) stepdaughter.

    At least I've got red knickers now.
  2. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Eh? Am I missing something? (I'm actually wearing red ones today.)
    install likes this.

    ROSIEGIRL Senior commenter

    Well done you!

    At some point it will be right, but it's obviously not now and you did well to recognise that.

    Enjoy the knickers!
  4. eleanorms

    eleanorms Occasional commenter

    And the red shoes, hopefully.
    It sounded like a worthwhile, but very intense job.
    Be kind to yourself, you will know when the time is right to move forward. Winter is a fallow time of year anyway, no shame in resting for a bit.
    install and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  5. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Best of luck either way...
    install and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  6. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    We've all chuffed out of an interview, and you have more of a reason than I did. Awrabest. xx
  7. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Ah well, gusset's all for the best...
  8. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    The job might have been pants anyway.
  9. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    If you didn't want to you didn't want to. And that's fine. There will be something when it's the right time for you.
  10. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    Aw, Marshall. We understand. You were brave to even consider it at this stage. I’m sure something else will come along later. Or your contact with them could include that you will be looking next year after you’ve had more time. You never know if they’re successful in appointing.

    And keep wearing red. I actually thought about you when I was in M&S today looking....;)
    install, Lara mfl 05 and digoryvenn like this.
  11. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    It was probably too soon to throw yourself into something new. You'll be feeling very vulnerable, and wanting the safety of home.

    You'll know when the time is right.
  12. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    You need head space to recover. Be kind to yourself this winter,cuddle the cats and see what spring will bring.

    However, "Whit's Fur Ye'll No Go By Ye" as they say where I live!
    install, Lara mfl 05 and smoothnewt like this.
  13. digoryvenn

    digoryvenn Lead commenter

    Oh, Marshall, so sorry. We all understand. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future.

    Take care.
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
  14. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Wise of you to know what was best. We get to an age when we have to do what we want and absolutely have the right to change our minds.
    ( Can you tell I feel strongly about this :) )
  15. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    I was a bit surprised you were doing it so early, not surprised you can't face it.

    Go out tomorrow in your red kickers and knickers anyway (and some other clothes too, it's going to be a cold one).
    caress, install, chelsea2 and 6 others like this.
  16. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    I went for an interview two days after doctors told my husband he was terminally ill with cancer. My work colleagues persuaded me to go but I knew I was not in a good place mentally. The feedback I received was that I did not sparkle enough. I cried for 3 days solid after that, believing that I would never sparkle again. You should always follow your gut feelings. Only you will know when you are ready. I'd say that if you're unsure then you are not ready. It has taken a long time for me to sparkle again but I sparkle most of the time now. Take care and don't rush things. X
  17. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Absolutely understand and to be honest I was thinking that it might be a bit soon as I wrote my earlier post, but reckoned you knew your own mind. you obviously did and the relief you felt cancelling it says everything you need to know about the decision.
  18. install

    install Star commenter

    Its not the right time and well done for realising that. Best wishes.
    digoryvenn and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  19. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Here's the truth.

    There are no rules about what should be done when bereaved. It's something that in life can't educate us in until we're faced with it.

    As we're approaching remembrance day, my thoughts are with how wives had to cope with the news of a husband lost in battle in a war; and what support they got.

    We know it was tough for them before the welfare state was invented, from the stories passed down from our parents and grandparents and how they had no choice but to get over their bereavement quickly and find a job as quick as they could, or be unable to survive.

    We live in a different world now, where we can take our time to get over our loss, but we don't get educated in that. We fall back on the education we had from our parents and grandparents that they survived the war and fed their kids in their hours of grief by working in munitions factories.

    It ain't like that no more, thanks to the welfare state. You might have to fight a bit to get the benefits your entitled to, in order to let through the time until your ready to return to work, but the measures are there now, that the war widows didn't have.

    I've read your posts about your husband's demisie with interest, @Marshall, but knew there was nothing I, or anyone else on this site could do, other than offer support.

    Take the time you need to get yourself together.

    Take note here, that neither I nor my sweetheart has any idea how we'll cope if either of us survives the other.
    Lara mfl 05 and lindenlea like this.
  20. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    You're doing fantastically to have even considered it. When my father died, it took my mother months to even go out of the house on her own.
    install, caress and Lara mfl 05 like this.

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