Apologise in advance for the length of this post! My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in November 2010 a total shock which shattered our world. A series of scans tests followed, an operation to remove the tumour was not an option as the cancer was in both lungs and the lymph nodes in the centre of the chest. This left the option of Chemo which was given over 4 cycles. We were told there had been some shrinkage and they were pleased with this progress. A MDT (multi discipline team) meeting was held to discuss the next steps of treatment. Following this meeting my husband had to have a PET scan which revealed the cancer has now spread into the bones (spine). This lead to the team retracting the option of radical radiotherapy on the lungs as the disease has spread the only option is now pallative care, a low dose radiotherapy followed by chemo drugs to slow down the growth. Since this diagnosis my husband has got significantly worse and has lost the use of his left side - can't remember things, finds concentration very difficult and sleeps at every given moment. This new development means we are waiting for a MRI scan on his brain to see if the cancer is now there also. The school I work at has been fantastically supportive, after the initial diagnosis my GP signed me off work through nervous disability as I was finding it very difficult to cope. I returned to work at the end of March on a phased return working mornings, which occupational health agree that this is a good plan and I am hoping to increase my hours gradually over the coming half term with the continued support of the school and occupational health. Thankfully I am able to attend hospital appointments with my husband, this is now an essential part of his care as he struggles to listen, remember and understand what is happening and being said. However with my husbands rapidly deteriorating health I am concerned I don't know what each day will bring so I may well have to rush him into hopsital or there could be an emergency at home as he has requested to 'die at home' What will the implications be on my phased return? Will my pay be cut as my wage is our main income and if this is cut we will be finacially stretched and I don't think I could cope with another stressfull situation? What will happen about this years performance management review will I fail this and go into capabilities? The questions all the new problems throw up seem endless so I'm sorry for the long post.