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How would you handle a child that says 'no'?

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by daisypetals, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. Wondered if anyone had any advice. There is a Reception child who will say 'no' to things she does not want to do e.g. reading with an adult, an adult led group etc.
    If she wants to do it them she is more than happy to, but if it is at a time that interrupts her game/ she doesn't really fancy she will say no and just refuse to come.
    What strategies would you use to combat this?

    T.I.A :)


     
  2. Wondered if anyone had any advice. There is a Reception child who will say 'no' to things she does not want to do e.g. reading with an adult, an adult led group etc.
    If she wants to do it them she is more than happy to, but if it is at a time that interrupts her game/ she doesn't really fancy she will say no and just refuse to come.
    What strategies would you use to combat this?

    T.I.A :)


     
  3. Leapyearbaby64

    Leapyearbaby64 New commenter

    Give her 2 choices so that the obvious one to pick is doing what you want her to do?
     
  4. Ask "Would you like to read at this table, or at the story corner?" Or something of the like.The question gives the impression that she has a choice, but the end result is still what you want her to do.
    Give her warnings that it will soon be time to tidy/read/join the group so she can prepare herself and wind down the game she's playing.
    Assure her that she can go back to x, y, or z when she's done doing what you've asked.
    If you're still having trouble with her saying, "no," don't ask, tell. "Susie, come here to read with me, please," instead of, "Susie, can you come here to read with me, please?"

     
  5. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    make it gently but firmly clear that 'no' is not an option. she's at school and needs to follow instructions as and when they are given - our class rules say that.
     
  6. cariad2

    cariad2 New commenter

    I wouldn't even say please, as it can make it sound like a request rather than an instruction. I say please to a child if I'm asking them to be helpful eg by fetching something for me, or taking a message to someone. If a child offers to make me a cup of tea in the homecorner or to make a necklace for me if they're threading beads, then I'll say "yes, please".
    But if I want a child to read with me, or to join in with a focussed activity etc then I want to make it clear that they are being told what to do (albeit in a friendly, warm manner).
     
  7. I also got told this when training. I was told be be careful how I worded things to the children as they can mis-read what you are saying to them for example, instead of saying please at the end of the sentence to say thank you as it was much firmer and implys they will do what you have asked - e.g. can you sit over here, thank you.
    Also, when asking them would you like to come and do.... they might say 'no', not because they are being rude or difiant, but simply because you have asked if they would like to, and they wouldn't!) Now I try to say 'it's your turn to come and do...'
     
  8. After 10 years in mainstream, I now work in a class of ASD children and "no" is a common response - even when it is a direct request rather than a gentle plea!
    The strategies we use are varied but some of the more successful include:
    Using visual prompts/sand timers, let the child know in advance that it is coming so that when you ask him, it is not a surprise.
    You could try the visual prompts (writing with symbols) dictating "first <least preferred activity> then
     
  9. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    I was going to say this too.


     

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