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How to stop 1-1 due to health reasons?

Discussion in 'Private tutors' started by microbiology, Nov 10, 2019.

  1. microbiology

    microbiology New commenter


    I do 1-1, joint lessons and groups. Majority of my students are in groups and there's a handful of 1-1 and joint lessons.

    I suffer from depression and the stress I get from 1-1 and joint lessons are far too much. These are kids of demanding surgeons who sometimes turn up 1 hr late and never pay the fees.

    I really have had enough after being admitted to hospital for anxiety attack yesterday.

    I want to cut down on tuition and the most effective way would be to stop 1-1 and joint lessons and ask them to join groups instead.

    The families i teach know each other and no one knows I suffer from depression. Can anyone pls help me structure a message to them that sort of explains why I'm asking them to join groups instead. I teach a lot of students from the same community so I already know I will be losing clients but ny mental health is more important right now.

    Thank you in advance
  2. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    Dear Rude Disrespectful Parents,

    I am no longer able to offer tuition for your child/children due to persistant lateness and/or non/late payment of fees. I'm sure you can understand I cannot continue to offer tuition under these conditions. This is effective immediately.

    Best wishes for the future.

    Do not mention your health. That is absolutely none of their business. Then get yourself some new clients who understand how to treat you with the respect you deserve!
  3. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    I wouldnt ask them to join groups as they will continue this behaviour AND will affect other people too.
  4. microbiology

    microbiology New commenter

    I teach A level Biology. Most of my students are aspiring Meds/Dentist. I teach a lot of students from one community so I already know I will lose at least 8 students.

    Some of these parents are so demanding that they think they are more important than others.

    They won't join group because they think they deserve 1-1 so do you think by offering them an alternative I won't vome across like I'm telling them to go even though I am?
    I want to do it in a diplomatic way
  5. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    If you really want to be nice about it then simply state that as from xxxx date you will no longer be offering one to one tuition/tuition on their day/time due to personal/family reasons. However, you have spaces in the x, y and z groups if they would be interested in a place for their child.

    You don't have to tell them actual reasons.
  6. phatsals

    phatsals Senior commenter

    Dear xxx, Unfortunately I am no longer able to offer 1-1 tuition as of xxxxx. May I take this opportunity to wish xxxx well for their future,

    Regards, xxxx

    There is no need to offer any explanation, it's a private matter for you. You are self employed and can pick and choose. You can leave it for them to ask if you have group sessions and if there's a slot available, or you can offer it as an alternative. If you don't want to keep them, tell them you have no availability. What I would say, is that if this is about 'brain mither', then let them go.

    Late arrival is a cancellation, none payment is a strikeout and they're gone. I suspect they have taken advantage of your flexibility. The reality of it is that that late arrival is equivalent to a double slot for you, it is for me. It's unacceptable.

    I have a very simple rule as I've said before. I'm paid for tutoring plus planning, if a parent or tutee takes up more brain time than that they have to go. I say either that it's a change of circumstances (if they never miss) or too many cancellations, either way they're gone. I've always felt tremendous relief when I've done it. Cancel them and stick to your guns.
    chris1729, doctoryes and alsoamum like this.
  7. doctoryes

    doctoryes Occasional commenter

    I agree with the "personal" reasons type posts. Information about your health needs should remain confidential.
    I wouldn't offer any alternative provision for families who had messed me around in this way.
  8. gainly

    gainly Star commenter

    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with these students. I'd agree with the other posters, it sounds as if you would be better to get rid of them entirely as if they turn up late and don't pay this is likely to continue and disrupt the groups.

    If you really don't want to just "sack" them you could try something like:

    "Dear Parent,
    Owing to personal reasons I will no longer be able to offer 1 to 1 tuition as from -----. If your child would like to join a tuition group they will be welcome to do so. For group tuition I require payment in full for each term in advance, which is not refundable in case of late or non-attendance"

    This gives them an alternative if they want to continue but one they are probably unlikely to accept
    Corvuscorax likes this.
  9. suzette

    suzette Occasional commenter

    You should bin these people immediately. This is bullying in the highest extreme and shouldn't be tolerated. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time of it, but you mustn't tell them of your personal reasons for wanting to change the arrangements, it is none of their business and I feel that they might use it as a way to bully you even more into doing what you don't want to do.

    It is YOUR BUSINESS AND YOUR RULES!!! You can say "due to personal reasons" you can no longer run the classes as they currently are, but don't mention the reason. Moving forward, you will have to have in place a more robust policy surrounding lateness, non-payment and rude clients. I know that you know these people, but they often say that people that know you well, are the ones that abuse that trust because they think you should give them something for free.

    I think your health is the most important thing, so regardless of how many clients/or money you may lose, get rid of them. The beauty of tutoring is that you can build up a new client base again pretty quickly and the fact that you are a dedicated tutor, will mean your good reputation will get you more recommendations.

    Good luck with it all! :)
  10. microbiology

    microbiology New commenter

    I have sent them a message last night. The rudest texted back straight away that ot was unfair. Gave them an alternative and minutes later they said they found someone else.

    The other 3 students have not replied.

    It such a relief after doing it but at the same time i feel stressed that I have lost 6 students

    Is this normal ?
  11. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    Yes it's normal to feel worried. But concentrate on filling your groups think how you'll feel next time you get paid on time and students turn up on time.

    Try not to use any more brain power on these people.

    I sympathise because I was let go from an educational writing job on Friday with no explanation and no apology for the abrupt change of plan. I felt awful that day but actually having had time to think about it I've realised how much time and brain power they have taken up and that it's probably their fault and their lack of organisation, not mine. In short, they were taking up far more time and energy than they'd have paid me for, so it's for the best! You'll probably feel the same once the dust has settled.
  12. gainly

    gainly Star commenter

    Well done, I'm sure you've done the right thing. I hope you manage to replace them with some more considerate students.
  13. phatsals

    phatsals Senior commenter

    Its normal to feel uncomfortable because you aren't used to asserting yourself. Flexibility is a great characteristic, but learning when to say enough is equally valid. It will feel strange at first, but this is about you earning a living and staying well. That means rules, terms and conditions.
    Rule 1 - lateness - if someone turns up late they have only the remainder of the hour, it doesn't start when they arrive (if it's 1 1).
    Rule 2 - late cancellation is charged in full (unless it's a dire emergency).
    Rule 3 - No brain mither, demanding behaviour is a no-no. 'Unfortunately I don't think I'm the right fit for Billy-bob and will no longer be offering tuition.'

    You can usually tell the pains from the start, I used to give them the benefit of the doubt, but no more.

    Well done - you'll soon fill the gaps.
    suzette likes this.
  14. suzette

    suzette Occasional commenter

    Good for you. Yes it's normal to feel a bit of stress, but in the long run it is definitely for the best. Obviously as I said some of them were bullies, so don't lose sleep about them.
  15. suzette

    suzette Occasional commenter

    Sorry to hear that you were let go on Friday. It's annoying when things like that happen, but that's part of the reason why us tutors work for ourselves (or most of us). I was fed up with people/businesses treating me like dirt. Although I do occasional work tutoring in a prison, it works around my tutoring, not the other way round and I can pick and choose when I work, as it seems they need me more than I need them.

    Again you're better off without them. Onward and upwards! :)
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2019
    alsoamum likes this.
  16. doctoryes

    doctoryes Occasional commenter

    They have been really unfair on you and treated you badly, how rude to say that you are unfair.
  17. microbiology

    microbiology New commenter

    I feel so bad for the kids who I have cancelled on. I am also worried that i have lost all the students from the same community (10 each yr) as people would be talking about what I have done :(

    I'm not sure how to fill the gaps I have no luvk with TH and FT. Any suggestions would be appreciated
  18. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    Have you tried local parent Facebook groups? I find that a really good way of filling groups.

    Or can you offer some kind of referral scheme to those already attending the groups.

    I know it seems scary but you couldn't carry on with those people.

    It may take some time but you'll fill up again. This time be more picky about your clients. Do you have a tuition agreement or contract you ask them to sign?
  19. alsoamum

    alsoamum Occasional commenter

    And don't worry about people talking. They probably know the real reason and can't be that surprised! They've probably also got 'more important' things to talk about than tutors too.

    If you know anyone friendly who moves in the same circles as them then perhaps let it slip out in casual conversation. "Unfortunately I've had to let some students go recently for non payment of fees, such a pity for the students but I have to put my own family first and I have bills to pay..."
  20. gainly

    gainly Star commenter

    I'm not sure why you would feel sorry for the kids when they treated you so badly. Turning up an hour late for a lesson shows complete contempt for the tutor. There is no point being busy with lots of lessons if they aren't paying you.

    Where in the country are you? There seems to be a shortage of biology tutors where I live (south east London) as I quite often have students asking me if I know of an A level biology tutor.

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