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How to politely (or maybe not) stop people feeding your child rubbish?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by whistle4it, Jun 13, 2011.

  1. whistle4it

    whistle4it New commenter

    Any ideas? Sick to death of people thinking this is hilarious. I know it is a grandparents perceived role, in some cases to "spoil," but I'm sure there are better ways to do it than cadbury's mini roll, cakes, biscuits and crisps? And the most irritating thing is that I think it is done for effect, as the people who do it know it annoys me. Went to a party recently and my friend thought it was hilarious to feed my son loads of junk. I dont mind him having the occasional crisp or chocolate but I'm really trying to give him a healthy diet and he has a really dodgy tummy as it is (recurring diarrhea.) So when he was rammed full of food to an audience of giggling parents I was really cross. I just dont know how to politely tell people no, and mean it without being really offensive. I probably am ott about his healthy eating, but he is only 18 months and I dont want him having mcdonalds/ junk food. His grandparents adore him, but almost seem to find it a source of amusement to give him as much **** as possible just for a reaction from me. They then dont have to deal with the sore tummy and awful diarrhea which is really not fair on the poor little sausage afterwards. x
  2. I have exactly the same problem. People think I am being really fussy not wanting my baby to eat junk and so either feed him behind my back and then present him to me covered in sticky chocolate mess or they say REALLY LOUDLY 'Oh isn't Mummy a meanie not letting you have treats!' As you have said, I don't mind the odd sweet etc. but it's really frustrating grrrrrr!!
  3. whistle4it

    whistle4it New commenter

    Glad it isnt just me then, and I have "Oh isn't Mummy being mean" too. Getting really fed up with it. Might just have to start risking offending people. Have also found a wonderful CM...friend of the family, a sort of cuddly Mrs Doubtfire type, but she also gives them McDonalds and custard creams, so not quite sure how to get round that x
  4. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Can you explain to your son that his poorly tummy is caused by the McDonalds (etc), so that he doesn't want them? And make a big issue out of it the next time an episode is brought on by people who are supposed to care for him? If he had coeliac syndrome or peanut allergy, it wouldn't be funny to wind up Mummy by giving him bread or peanuts, would it?
    Could you then let him choose a treat food, and his carers can give him that when he gets a treat?
    I'd be appalled if anyone bought my baby McDonalds when she's 18 months old. I'm not sure I'd let them take her out again (and that includes her father, lol!).

  5. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Yeah, me too. My son is 2 on Thurs and he's never had a Mcdonalds (well, to my knowledge anyway). Luckily he doesn't like chocolate and junk and refused to even take a bite of the Easter egg my MIL bought him. He likes strawberries, banana, raisins etc.
    I don't mind him having the occasional crisp, or biscuit or whatever, but i'd be really p*ssed off if people tried to give him junk. When he was at the childminder's we provided his food so that was never an issue.
    Just tell them you don't want him eating that sort of food - it's really out of order for them to ignore you.
  6. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    This is something I feel really really strongly about. I would be horrified if my son had even a crisp let alone a Mcdonalds. I give all my food to the childminders so the only thing she gives him is water from the tap! I know people might think I am a bit weird but I don't want him even having non-organic milk, dairy and meat. Unfortunately I can't give him everything organic because it just isn't available short of having your own allotment, though I do try my best.
    There is SO much **** in foods nowadays and the consequences so dire if you have a poor diet and the better start you give your little ones will stand them in good stead for life. When they are older they can decide what they want to stuff into their mouths and if it's **** I certainly won't be paying for it :)
    Watching Jamie Oliver's account of the awful stuff they eat in America is just terrifying.
    At least this is something I feel I can really control in my son's life (struggling a bit with his behaviour and sleeping at the moment :).
  7. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Oh and to reply to the original question, I would just stop them, it's something I just couldn't let happen, and yes people do tease me sometimes but I don't take any notice (unusual for me to stick to my guns but on this I am adamant I am right).
  8. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I think if you bring them up eating well then they are less likely to eat junk when they're older. My parents never let us go to Mcdonalds, or had take-away and so on, and as an adult i go to Mcdonalds maybe once every 5 years! I must've been the only pupil at secondary school to never buy chips for lunch!
    Luckily no-one tries to force-feed junk to my son, they understand i don't want him to have it.
  9. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Exactly, because hopefully they won't like the artificial taste and it will make them feel bad! But I also think it's important not to ban it completely otherwise it could backfire. My OH wasn't allowed any sweets or chocolate as a child and he binged on them as a teenager (and still is seriously addicted to biscuits and rubbish now!). So it's important not to be too strict when they get a bit older and hopefully they'll have developed a preference for homecooking! x
  10. whistle4it

    whistle4it New commenter

    Yes, I think you are all right, time to put my foot down esp as since he was really ill and sick, he is getting diarrhea a few times a week :( I feel the start of a diarrhea thread coming on!
  11. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    In a way it's good he is reacting to bad food, but not nice for you. Give him a lot of rice, banana apple and toast and no dairy till it calms down. xxx
  12. Its simple really if grandparents are not following your instructions dont leave them alone with him. Make it clear it makes him ill. I'm not that hysterical about a few chocolate buttons but I'd have a fit if my 2 year old was given a macdonalds. They really are being very unsupportive.
  13. I think I'd go crazy if my in laws gave my daughter a Macdonalds.
    I think, when my daughter is older, my parents will feed her home made cakes and things- and some treats are fine, we can't ban everything..and homemade cakes are better! but when they are so little it is important to give a child a healthy, balanced and varied diet. They don't miss junk food as they do not know what it is. I'd also like my daughter to be established in a healthy balanced diet before the treats appear. She loves eating now and I don't think junk would increase her enjoyment.
    They will eat some processed food as they get older but hopefully in moderation.
    Sometimes, and this sounds so snobby, but I think I realise how high my own standards are when I see what other people do. I went to a friends and their son was eating coco pops for tea..followed by some chips as he doesn't eat anything else.(I think chocolatey cereals will be banned from hotel Moo.) and she said he eats nothing else. I declined her offer to babysit!
  14. I feel so strongly about this! My baby eats really well (better than me, I'd say!) and loves most things I give him. He drinks water from his cup and loves fresh fruit. He's had a bit of a chocolate bunny at easter and maybe a wee crumb of birthday cake the odd time. I want him to have a balanced diet and he'll be allowed 'treat' foods when he's at the age for them. i have grumbled on here before at my OH and MIL giving my boy a lollipop. They thought it was really funny that he cried when they took it away. I just thought it was mean! And don;t start me on the H&S stuff!

    I think it's so irresponsible of people to give your baby food against your wishes, and I would be so cross when they try that, oh isn't mummy mean, routine.

    As for tthe poster with the childminder giving their child mcdonalds, I'd think you need to just tell her straight what he's allowed and not asllowed to eat. After all, you're paying her!
  15. Well I'm going to have my say..........
    Firstly, don't assume that if you bring your child up on a healthy diet they will eat healthliy as adults. It doesn't work like this. But then denying children treats doesn't always mean they are going to binge on them as soon as they can.
    I have the same problem as the OP and struggle with my MIL. My son is ten months old and apparently he loves Bounty! But she is our only childcare so I put up and shut up to a degree. I do say to her that I don't mind a taste, but that's all. No one NEEDS a Bounty, least of all a baby.
    BUT (and that's a big but) I do give him tastes of things all the time because I don't want him to grow up thinking of anything as forbidden. Everyone wants what they can't have. That's why all babies want to play with you mobile phone and your sky remote.
    Today I gave my son a taste of chocolate ice cream. It is the first ice cream I have had in weeks and he had a couple of licks. He loved it, and so did I. We probably won't have ice cream again for ages and when we do he will probably love it. What's the harm?
    I only give him jars very occasionally, he eats home made meals and all of his snacks (rice cakes etc) are organic. And he only ever has organic milk because the other kind is full of horrendous cow hormones.
    What I think is reeeeaaaallllly bad is how every Asda now has a bloody mcdonalds. Mcdonalds should be a very occasional treat if you like that kind of thing, not a part of the weekly shop. Jamie Oliver needs to get involved.

  16. Well. Maybe I'll have my say too. I am in the not forbidding anything line as well. My LO tastes a bit of whatever I am having, be that ice cream or a digestive biscuit or fruit etc. Obviously not anything harmful. No one needs junk food/ sugar etc but the reality is that it is there and they will eat it one day. I worry that if my LO has a different healthier diet to us, she is going to notice and it will make the situation worse. So I eat lunch and tea with her and try to have the same things (very good for my diet) and she has left over dinner for her tea time. You know, while I wouldn't go to Mcdonalds and buy her a meal, there are worse things in the world (especially if it's a drink of milk, carrot sticks and chicken nuggets which are 100% chicken breast!)
  17. Ok, I know I won't ban things totally.
    We hardly ever had crisps as children and now I am obsessed with them...I could eat several packets in one sitting. Certainly a healthy diet now is no guarantee they will not like processed foods as you get older. My daughter is 10 months so has no real need for treats but she will have them when she is older. I think everything in moderation is fine but it is annoying when other people try and feed junk to your young kids.

  18. Oh and chicken nuggets are NOT 100% chicken breast.... here is an ingredients list.

    Chicken (45%), Coating [Vegetable Oil (Rapeseed, Sunflower), Wheat Flour, Water (8%), Maize Flour, Modified Starch, Raising Agents (Disodium Diphosphate, Sodium Bicarbonate), Whey Powder (from Milk), Flavour Enhancer (Potassium Chloride), Egg Albumen (Free Range Egg), Ground Pepper, Breadcrumb (Wheat Flour, Salt), Salt, Dextrose, Ground Celery], Water (7%), Potato Starch, Vegetable Oil (Rapeseed, Sunflower), Natural Flavouring (from Free Range Egg), Flavour Enhancer (Potassium Chloride). Prepared in the restaurants using a non-hydrogenated vegetable oil
    To me, I wouldn't want my daughter eating it yet/
    Taken from the Macdonalds website

    I think they advertise it as the meat they use is 100% chicken breast or something but actually this chicken breast makes up less than half of the nugget, the chicken select is better with 57% chicken.
  19. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    What i want to know is how do they get to a point where this is all they'll eat? If they'd never had coco pops and chips then they wouldn't know to eat only that. I understand that babies/toddlers can be difficult as my son barely ate at all until he was about 18 months, and even now at 2 he doesn't eat much. He used to love yoghurts and we'd try to give him other things but some days he would survive on 2 yoghurts and half a weetabix! Now he'll eat what we eat - curry, spaghetti, lasagne, fish and veg etc (all home made things). I would never give him coco pops, he has either shreddies or weetabix, and sometimes cornflakes. He even liked my muesli.
    Before i had kids i used to think i'd never allow them to have anything 'bad' at all, but i don't mind him having a taste of something like chocolate or ice-cream, although we're very lucky that he doesn't like it. Now he knows it isn't banned though, so hopefully he'll grow up having a good attitude towards it and not spending all his pocket money at the sweet shop on the way home from school when he's 12!! (i always see the local school kids in the sweet shop and chip shop near us).
  20. My son has had McDonalds (twice!) oh the shame! Both occasions were with one particular friend of mine who goes to sea for months at a time and when he comes home insists that we go there. To add insult to injury, I am vegetarian and hate their vegeburgers. I do like the milk shakes though...
    I am going off the subject. i find the best way to make sure my son is not given anything I do not want him to have is (especially where MIL is concerned) is to not say a thing as she seems to deliberately undermine me. For example, if she wants to buy an ice-cream I let her and then share with Will (I make a mini cone from the bottom bit.) Before when I have simply said no, she has gone behind my back and given stuff anyway. (Though I still think I was right to get a little upset when my w month old was given chocolate) I also have a son who prefers fruit to most other things so I encourage family members to buy cherries and blueberries as a treat. Generally though, I just make a non issue of food.
    Have spent two months happily eating chocolate "after hours" to get rid of Easter egg.

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