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How to increase confidence levels in your (own!) children?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tartetatin, Feb 29, 2012.

  1. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Actually, on reflection, her problem is more to do with self-image (physically) and self-esteem. She's quietly confident in herself, but worries about how others perceive her.
    How do you teach them to give less of a sh.it? 10 years old is too young for this!
  2. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    10 years old or not, you said she is in puberty. I think her self-doubts sound normal for her stage of development and I bet many of those other, seemingly confident youngsters, are also pretending to be someone else in their heads.
  3. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    okay, thank you joli [​IMG]
  4. bedingfield

    bedingfield New commenter

    I would agree with joli. I have a 12 year old who has similar issues with self-doubts like your daughter. All I do is try to listen and reassure her that they way that she perceives herself is not how we and friends and family see her.
    I do understand how you feel as a mum. It can be heartbreaking to know that they have low self-esteem.
  5. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Many thanks to you all for your helpful and empathetic replies. It has been extremely useful for me to read others' experiences, perspectives and advice.
    Sometimes as a parent we get stuck in a bit of a rut and it helps to ask others how they'd deal with a certain situation, especially as most of my friends have much younger children.
    Cheers [​IMG]
  6. gergil4

    gergil4 New commenter

    In many respects she sounds just like my daughter. I'm trying to do more 'sit and talk/listen' with her - somewhere quiet. I try for more mother/daughter time (shopping/baking). I also tell her more often how much I love her and how like me (as a child) she is (poor soul). She has joined several out of school clubs this year which I think is helping. I've heard that martial arts are good for developing confidence. I haven't signed her up yet but have given it serious thought. It can all be very heart breaking hearing what they say at times, but try to be there, listen, hug and bear with her. If she sees a stable parent/family life then that should make her feel safe and hopefully get through what is a tricky age. Good luck.
  7. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    I've worked with a lot of kids with really low opinions of themselves and I've found drama sessions a reaaly good way of getting them involved. Not so much "stageschool" stuff as activities which propmote teamwork and co-operation. It is sometimes a bit scary to start with but I have seen some kids really blossom after just a few sessions.
  8. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I don't think there's an answer to this. You can only be yourself - a loving and concerned mum. You can only respond to her needs day by day and let her know she's loved. Hopefully she will in time grow into herself and come to terms with herself as most of us do eventually. It's painful being a mum isn't it.

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