Sorry in advance if this turns into a really maudlin post. It's not intended that way, just looking for a bit of insight into what other people think. We're currently trying to convince my nan to go into a nursing home near us. She's 93 and has a whole host of serious health issues which have caused a few family emergencies in recent weeks, but so far, she refuses to leave home. She does have a carer who comes in for an hour or so each day but she expects one of us to come and visit her daily, which would be fine if she didn't live 250 miles away. We've managed to get her down here to stay in a care home (a lovely one at that!) for 2 weeks while her carer is on holiday but she's making it perfectly clear that she hates it and considers that she's been 'thrown in prison'. Her health is declining rapidly and I suspect if she went back home it would not be long before some kind of crisis would force her to move either into hospital or into a care home, and me and my family agree that it would be better for her to make that move while she still has the choice. The fact that she'd probably be placed in a home local to her rather than us plays a part too, because we'd then have to work out how to get her relocated and stuff because it just isn't possible for us to be where she is for any length of time due to the fact that we all work full time or have young families. She won't move in with my parents, even though they have ample room, so that's not an option either. I guess I'm just wondering at what point you have to take someone's right to choose where they live away from them. Wanting her to be closer to us is a selfish move on our part I suppose, but it's one made out of love and concern for her because we don't want her to be forced out of her home into an environment where we can't visit frequently. The rationale is that the blow of being forced into a home might be somewhat mitigated if she could have her family pop in a couple of times a day instead of once a fortnight. Another side of it is my dad's health. Recently she's started phoning him to say she's ill and that he needs to come immediately, which he does (well, as immediately as he can) only to find that when he gets there she feels better and sends him away. Twice, she's not even let him in to have a cup of tea but simply turned him away on the doorstep, meaning that my poor dad has pretty much driven straight for 7 hours, half of which he's wracked with worry about what he'll find when he gets there. It’s aging him and I worry for his health as he’s nearly 70 himself and doesn't need the added stress of hotfooting it half way across the country several times a week (and then having to work extra to catch up on what he's missed, because he still runs his own business). There's no dementia or senility issue either, she's as sharp as a pin and knows exactly what she's doing. She's always been a rather difficult character and I do feel that her motives are selfish and it's a case of exercising control over us to an extent (as horrible as that sounds). So, what would you do? Do we take the decision into our own hands and force her to stay down here? Or do we let her live her life as she wants and face the fact that her last days are going to be a lot more lonely and isolated than they need to be and that until she passes, my dad in particular is going to have a lot more worry and stress on his plate than he needs. p.s. sorry this is long!