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How much should adult children living at home pay for their keep?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Mattie, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    blazr major (aged 24) pays £200 per month. blazer minor (aged 17) pays 3150 per month as he earns less.

    However the money is going into separate bank accounts (which they don't know about) and they will get it all back to use as a deposit should they decide to buy a house.
  2. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    blazer minor pays £150 per month (dodgy shify key)!
  3. I paid my mum and dad 100 pounds a month, and also paid car insurance so i could drive their car. They didn't want to charge me too much as they knew I was paying back debts and saving for my own place. I was paying 200 when I lived in a flat so they just halved it.
  4. spokeydokey

    spokeydokey New commenter

    I lived at home through uni and didn't pay anything. After uni it was agreed I paid 25% of everything I earnt. I was earning about £1000 a month to which £250 went to my parents, £250 went on spends including my petrol and car insurance etc and £500 went into savings. My parents supported me through uni, so I thought it was fair that I paid money to them when I was earning. I was lucky in that I managed to get a house with my partner a year and a half ago when I was 22 because we both managed to save lots after uni and having two salaries obviously makes buying a house a lot easier.

    I think what some posters were saying about putting some of what he pays away in a savings account without him knowing is a great idea. It will really help him in the future.
  5. Panic at the Disco, I don't mean this in a nasty way but you have obviously come from a financially comfortable background and you have a high earning husband. Perhaps you just haven't experienced what it is like to have to budget carefully as most people have to at some times in their life. It's a balancing act between helping your children start out in life and being realistic.
  6. My sister splits her time between my parents, and pays £150 a month. She also keeps a dog, and his food bill is covered in this (family shopping), and she has a car, which is an immense help to my Mums household. Hope it helps!
  7. Yes, I appreciate that gill and my argument isn't "Parents, go round in rags so that your children can wear Versace!" (sp?) I simply mean that IF parents are able to help their children out for a couple of years either by living rent free or by contributing a minimum amount - they should.

    If they are unable to do this then that of course is another matter.
  8. During my time at university I did not pay my parents rent when I came home for the holidays - I was supporting myself through university without significant financial help from them, and if I had paid them rent as well I would not have been able to manage without taking out a bank loan in addition to my student loan, which my parents did not want me to do. I did help around the house though, and I was hardly living in frivolous luxury!

    Having graduated from university I am now renting in a different part of the country, but if I ever did move home and was actually earning I would expect to pay towards the extra gas/electricity/food etc. that my living there was costing. I would only move home if I absolutely couldn't afford anything else, in which case charging me full private sector rent would be counterproductive, as it would effectively prevent me ever saving enough to move out again - an outcome which would in no way be desired by either myself or my parents!

    However if you are the parent of the sort of child who would quite happily live at home, cushily, for many years instead of going to the effort of finding their own place, doing their own cooking and washing etc. and having primary responsibility for themselves, then you should charge them more as an incentive to move out, imo! It all depends on the individual circumstances, and how sensible and responsible or otherwise you know your child to be.
  9. cheesypop

    cheesypop Senior commenter

    i went away to university, and was supported by my parents (who are divorced). when it came to my PGCE year, my brother was also at university. my parents said that they couldn't afford to support me for another year living away but if i came home to live they wouldn't charge me anything. i thought that was really fair.

    if i was living with them and earning i would expect to pay something, for my own self respect more than anything else. an alternative would be that your son lives rent free but buys his own food, etc. it depends on the size of your fridge/ kitchen cupboards etc!

    i think charging a small rent (£200-300 a month) and then putting whatever part of it you don't need into a secret account for him is a good plan as well. but you shouldn't be out of pocket for him being there while he is out partying every night!

    your son sounds like a sensible chap. why not ask him what he thinks is fair? and maybe ask him to do a quick survey around any friends he has that are in a similar situation?
  10. About 1/3 of wages is about right I think. However, if you are hoping that he's going to also be able to save up for a house on top of that you are in cloud cuckoo land!

    It will take him probably two years to save for a deposit, and that's if housing is cheap near you. If you really want to support his ability to save for a house, you should probably work out what you will be losing each month (extra money on food, slightly higher bills) and just charge him that - the actual cost to you. The rest you could put into the bank for him for his house deposit.

  11. I think everyone in the house should have £8 each I'm going spend £6 of mine on roll up baccy and two pounds on two loaves of bread ..... look I'm been honest ...... on my mothers life. I am the IT girl cos youse got no clothes to speak of ah mean ahm tellin it like it is ....... oooops sorry sweeties wrong thread just having a Charley moment what a delightful girl ...... x
  12. i live on my own and spend about 35-40% of my take-home pay on rent+bills...

    i reckon this is okay to ask an adult-living-at-home to contibute as they wont be paying any food and they're probs living at home as they cant afford to move out...

  13. I think asking for anything reasonable is OK. It just surprises (well, amazes) me a bit that parents who are perfectly able to exist comfortably without a contribution from their offspring nonetheless demand it.

    If the condition was that the money went in a savings account then fair enough, but if it is just taking it to remind said child that "there is no such thing as a free lunch!" I am afraid I just think - How stingy!!!
  14. 21.75 pounds. Seems fair to me.
    I did not charge mine because when I am a pensioner, I will not be able to pay them for my keep!
  15. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    Hi Mattie,

    As someone else said, everyone's circumstances are different, and you're going to have to take all your personal factors into consideration.

    As you have said, he's not coming home to avoid paying his way, and you don't begrudge him coming back. You're doing it as a kind of savings plan. Therefore you need to look at his salary and how much he's going to need to save by when, in order to work out what he can realistically afford to pay in rent.

    A "realistic" amount in your case is probably not going to be the amount he would have to pay outside the home in rent and bills, as he may as well move out and rent elsewhere if that were the case. As he is going to be renting from you AND saving for a deposit at the same time, he WILL be deprived of a "realistic" amount of money from his salary overall even if the rent is only half what he would normally have to pay.

    Also, bear in mind where you live when reading other people's figures on here - from what I know everything is a lot cheaper where you are!
  16. 50% of income. More if they want feeding and clothes washing etc.

    If you feel this is too much, put some aside each week/month, then turf them out when you have enough for them to put down a deposit on a rented flat.

    Do NOT let have it easy, or the feckless delinquents will never leave.
  17. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    And how exactly is he going to be able to leave if he is paying over 50% in keep?? You also have no idea what his salary is. 50% of £30,000 would be fine. 50% of £10,000 less so!

    I do kind of like the idea of the "secret savings" but on the otherhand, it is not really teaching someone the discipline of saving if you are doing it for them.

    In this case he sounds responsible enough already, and to be honest, if it was me, no amount of home comforts/savings etc would make me want to live at home longer than necessary - freedom is far more important.

    Knowing Mattie, I doubt she will have that many problems with her son. I have reason to suspect he is probably fairly well adjusted already ;O)
  18. My brother is 20; he's always lived at home and from getting a full time job he has paid 100 pouns a month board. This includes his food, washing, all bills and everything. He pays his own car insurance.

    I went to uni (parents paid tuition fees but they gave my bro the equivelant to buy a car!) I then worked at a nursery before doing pgce. I paid my own rent, bills, shopping, clothes etc whilst earning less than my brother! No help from parents! I still pay rent for my own place (£200 a month), my car insurance, bills, council tax, food etc etc etc I also have all my student loan debts and have paid my own fees etc for PGCE!

    My brother lives at home and pays nothing. I think he should pay more as he is not experiencing real life!
  19. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    Agree totally with those who say the bare minimum, or nothing at all.

    I reckon those who go all defensive about this and hark on about 'needing to know the meaning of money' or ' teaching them to be responsible ', do so to try and convince themselves they are not being unfair.

    Of course you are not being unfair if struggling to meet bills - but once you go into profit, then I reckon you are being nasty.

    When I was at university I was offered a room by a 75 year old lady. When I said I would take it, just needed to check the rent, she said:

    ' Why on earth do I, at 75, need £400 taken from you each month? You are young, you are entering the prime years of your life - YOU need the money, not me! The room and all is free.'

    She died a while ago, yet can be sure she has had a profound, profound influence on me.

    She was, of course, 100% correct, but there are so few like her, so very few.
  20. I haven't waded through all the posts, but I would go along with charging the going rate (as a good lesson in budgeting) and giving it back for capital expenses such as furniture and a washing machine for his first home. I would deduct expenses only if I needed to.

    Yes, you're only young once, but you've got to grow up sometime.

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