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How much should adult children living at home pay for their keep?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Mattie, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    ok serindip.if you can spare the time from your busy life lol
  2. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Seren -

    Not so long ago, I remember getting absolutely slated on here by several, shall we say, 'older' colleagues who were appalled by me statin that, as a teacher in her 4th year, I felt that I should be able to afford to move out of home and live independently of my parents. I do just about manage it, but only just. And I've certainly not bought a palace. I've bought a 1 bedroomed first floor flat for £79,000. I was totally slated for daring to say that I felt I should be able to afford this as a professional. I was told, "I didn't move out until I got married" buy several people and was villified for daring to assert that young professional, especially young teachers, may be priced out of the property market, resulting in them having to stay at home for longer.

    Now the opposite is true: I am being told that young people should move out and become independent as soon as possible. And if they don't, punish them by taking away the means by which they could actually seek such independence by taking huge chunks of their salary.

    Living at home is no the ideal choice for most people in their early 20s, but it's a reality. The REALITY, you know, the real world, is that they are priced out of the property market, even the lowest rung. It's a similar concept to renting a flat or getting a mortgage: one is dead money, the other is an investment. Whilst I agree that 21 is an adult and old enough to contribute, you also have to be realistic about what it will actually take financially to allow most 21 year old to move out.
  3. seren_dipity, to live in a bedsit for me at the moment in an area that would allow me to commute to work, would cost upwards of £600 per month, and that's for a bedsit. Oh, that's if I rent one. I can't actually afford to buy on the open market at all unless I get a mortgage for over five times my salary.

    And I was at uni for six years so only moved home a year and a half ago; I now have paid off a lot of my debt and I am looking to buy on keyworker scheme when a house comes up that I like. When I was home during holidays I paid rent to my mum, when I was at uni.

    What's starting at the bottom? I am single. I earn a reasonable salary. I'd prefer not to have to move miles away from everyone I know and all the things I do (especially given my health problems which would be exacerbated by this) in order to buy a **** one room 'studio' on the third floor of a house conversion which would wipe out my savings and leave me broke and miserable and unable to save to move elsewhere? How is that in any way desirable, or healthy?

    I ask my parents if they want more money and they say no. I save most of my salary. I help at home a lot and my mum especially likes having me at home (for a number of reasons but she worries about my health mainly I think). I'd like to move out, maybe get a one-bed flat in an area near to where I live now, so I can still go to work and do what I do now... but it's unfeasible because I can't afford it.
  4. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    If someone's helping out at home that's a form of rent anyway. I think the important thing is to be contributing, and that can take a variety of forms.

    I don't think young people should be living at home and squandering their money though, while expecting their parents to take on all the adult responsibilities while they live it up and treat the house like a hotel.

    And I honestly think that some young people find the facilities at home so comfortable they simply don't want to move out into something more basic.
    calamansi likes this.
  5. At least £500 a month. After all where would they be able to get rent, bills, food and launderette facilities for that amount of money?
  6. Should offspring ever move back and we were in a position to afford not to charge them rent, I don't think we would.
    I consider it far too late to 'teach them the value of money' - goodness, if they've got to early/mid 20's without having been taught it, then its a bit late to start!
    I also don't see the point of charging them money they would - presumably - desperately need to save for a deposit on their own place.
    If they were feckless layabouts then it might be different - thankfully mine aren't.
  7. My parents never charged any of us rent or living costs. I offered several times, starting when I turned 16 and had my first job.

    You culd hardly say they could afford it - they just decided not to. I think it was mostly led by mum to be honest.

    There is no right or wrong answer.

  8. I think it's important that parents DO charge. What self-respecting child who was working would not want to contribute to the household? That is what being grown up is all about. I only wish I could have afforded to give my parents more.

    My parents never asked and we didn't have a lot of money. I wanted to do it.
  9. Obviously I have no self respect then Bob.
  10. There are more ways of contributing than paying money.
    We earn far more than offspring are likely to do in the forseeable future - and they desperately need to save the money.
    Seems a bit token to me. As I posted earlier, if you haven't taught your kids the value of money by the time they are mid-20's, its a bit late to start trying!
  11. I agree Mandala. I left at 19 to go to uni, then emigrated. When I returned, my parents allowed me to stay with them and I found work in the local area. I soon returned abraod again and only returned as my mother was very ill. The reason there for moving back in was her illness.

    Monetary contributions are not the only one that a child is able to make.

    If it is all about a token payment - then ensure they pay for thier own food or special treats if they eat a lot of sweets or drink beer for example. Otherwise, ensure they open a savings account and pay their salary into that instead.

    I easily learnt how much running a house cost - my parents showed me bills and mortgage payments.
  12. The plan is that our two kids will eventually by a property between them and rent it out to cover the mortgage in the first few years. Meanwhile they will both live at home on a minimal rent the rest put in savings to accrue a deposit. This is all designed to get them both on the property ladder with a view to becoming property tycoons.
    So in answer to the OP...a proportionally small amount of their income.
  13. Yeah....I'd really like my kids to support me in my dotage in the style to which I'd like to become accustomed.
    Taking rent off them would therefore seem to be rather counter-productive.
  14. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    Surely it depends on how the parents feel about the situation, how much the child earns etc...there is a whole load of factors to consider ....each one very much individual to the situation and the people involved.

    How long is a piece of string?

    Just wondering if I should produce many more children and charge extortionate amounts of money for them to live with me and then move out into a luxury hotel located somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

  15. you would get very wet. :¬))
  16. My son is 23, earns about £22000pa and pays us £150 a month. We are not well off and could not afford to do without it, although I don't want to charge him more as after all we would have to pay the mortgage, council tax etc whether he was there or not. I based it on the cost of his food and a small contribution to gas & electricity. He did live at home rent free during his 4 years at uni, but he worked to pay for books, travel, spending money and has managed to save quite a lot towards a deposit on his own place. He only owes £800 in student loans which is minuscule compared to most.
  17. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    Yes but I'd be wet and rich ! ;-)

    Do you think I should take my idea to Dragon's den?
  18. When I moved back after Uni I was working but saving to go travelling. My parents knew that it was a once in a lifetie thing that they never got to do. I paid £150 a month, which was what it cost extra to be there. My mum always said if she charged me what it would cost in rent, then I might as well rent!!!

    When I returned briefly in my NQT year, it was to help with debt and savings. Again I paid what it cost extra for me to be there. ANd obviously I did washing and cooking etc.

    As to £500!!! My rented room in a shared house cost £340 a month including bills (water, elec, gas and council tax)!!!
  19. My father gave me a very large sum of money so that I would NOT move back home ... I think he was trying to tell me something.

    In fairness, a new partner had just moved in at that point and she is "awkward" to say the least. My brother, however, who is four years older, got to live at home rent free for three years after university. He had the time of his life at that point!

    I know full well I will get slated here but could it be that some posters are perhaps a little bit bitter that they did not have the opportunity to have such an easy ride into adulthood? (Sorry!)
  20. Not at all Panic

    I pay £20 a week and i'm 25. Yes, i should move out, but they are helping me because i am in so much debt and i'm trying to clear them by the end of the year. I'm also learning to drive, which they want me to do as they can't.

    Trust me, i pay alot more in blood sweat and tears living with them. Oh, i pay alright.

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