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Discussion in 'Personal' started by Mattie, Jun 14, 2007.
Now mine earns looooooads but the downside is I never see him and when I do he is too tired to play!
It does for a lot of people...and not everyone gets married.
My daughter pays £50 a week. It's not enough, but she's just moved back and needs to sort herself out. Then there will be an increase!
And yes, *all* lodgers should pay rent. I can't afford to subsidise. And why should it cost me money for her to go out, buy clothes and run her car. What lessons would she learn about coping if she lived here free?
Yes but that is because *you* cannot afford it - if someone else's parents *could* afford it, why force their children to pay?
I moved back home after uni and paid my mum £100 of my NQT salary for a year, on the condition that I set up and ISA and a standing order to pay £200 per month into it. After a year, I had a deposit for my flat and my golden hello paid to furnish it.
If you want you child to move out faster, charge less and allow them to save up, especially if, as you say, your son is quite responsible with money. In addition, draw up ground rules about washing, cleaning etc to coincide with the small amount of cash being paid to you; if it's too easy to live with Mum, boys will stay and stay!
because everyone, at some point, needs to learn the REAL value of money and what things cost, again, in the REAL world?xx
Well yes and in all seriousness I can appreciate that but usually a child would live with mum/dad BECAUSE of financial difficulties ... if you CAN afford to help them out, surely you *should*?
Either a true bare minimum to cover actual costs, or preferably, not a penny.
Your children, as you, are only young once. £50, £100, means a damn lot to a teenager - do you REALLY need it?
I think that is the crux of the matter. If you are not on hard times yourself, and don't need the money to cover bills, then I don't think you should flatten the glorious years of youth with financial stresses.
I know quite a few old gits who take hundreds off their children, yet constantly slag them off and hound them about getting their own place...all while ensuring they have not a hope in hell of saving any kind of deposit for themselves, all while these youngsters have to cancel going out and enjoying life as they cannot afford it .
And more often than not - to my true despair - all the parents do is put the money in their bank accounts ' for a rainy day '.
They just don't get that they are pissing buckets of rain down on their kids NOW, not in the bloody future which no-one can know.
I pay £125 per month. I also hardly spend anything, I save it all because there is not a snowball's chance in hell I'll be able to afford to buy a flat if I don't get a decent deposit together, not in London.
And I do know the value of money having lived away from home for six years, and having so little money I couldn't afford to buy food. My main thought when shopping now is 'but it's so expensive...' about things and my mum is the one making me buy them, saying 'but you can afford it now!'
Yes phoenix, and living with mummy IS living in the real world isn't it? The OP has already stated that her son is quite responsible with money and isn't in too bad a state financially after uni. Why not help him out by charging less so he can move out quicker?
I didn't need to be taught the lesson. I knew by 14 how much things cost. If I wanted a new top for a party, I did chores and errands to earn pocket money and paid for it that way. At 16, I got a part time job earning £13 for 4 hours on a Saturday and I learned to spend that £13 wisely! I took on more work during sixth form and always used my own money for buying clothes etc and for nights out with friends. If the money was gone, I couldn't go out.
At 22 when I returned from uni, I knew I wanted to buy a place of my own. I lived at home, my parents were great and I saved. I got out of my overdraft, and opened and ISA, saving at least £200 every money, many times much more.
There should be taken into account than simply, "teaching him a lesson". If you take a third of his income, that means he saves less money each month, and he spends longer living at home. Why not sit down and arrange a schedule. How much does he need to save to move out in, say, 18 months? Work out from that how much he can afford to give as housekeeping.
All I know is that I have no savings, I can't afford the maintenance that my property desperately needs and I'm permanently skint - at my age I should be reasonably comfortable and would be if I wasn't supporting two additional adults on my salary.
I can't take off them what they haven't got, but it doesn't mean I don't resent it like hell.
"Your children, as you, are only young once. £50, £100, means a damn lot to a teenager - do you REALLY need it?"
So that is fair enough seren IF you really need it - but my father certainly doesn't and wouldn't have dreamed of demanding it from either my brother or myself.
Everyone's circumstances are different. Some people NEED their adult children to contribute, which si fair enough. However, I resent the idea that taking hundred of pounds off them is 'teaching them a lesson about money in the real world'. How patronising.
Well said Eva
Then perhaps they should have a wee shot of experiencing the real world and then they might not grudge paying a realistic amount towards their keep.
At what point should an adult be independent? I know it's difficult to afford a home of your own - but since so few adult offspring of my acquaintance are prepared to start at the bottom, it's no wonder. But at 26, 27, 28 etc adults ought to be living away from home.
A couple of years after university is one thing - being there years after is quite another.
Mind you, I had a bedsit at 17 - as soon as I had my first full time job I left home.
wher eyou been hiding.....so long since you have done watch dog duty
care to msn some time?
Perhaps at the weekend oldsome? It's a long time since we chatted! We seem to miss each other on msn.
To OP, they should pay as they would rent and all the extras. Adults now not children.