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How much more can I take?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Ruthie66, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    Sorry to heis Viking maid - it sounds like you are having a tough time. I haven't really got any suggestions but didn't just want to read and not say anything. I understand that you don't want to let your A level classes down by not teaching them but you sound close to breaking point and if you don't look after yourself you might end up being off for much longer and that wouldn't do anyone ant good. Take Care
  2. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Oh, vikingmaid, like the other poster haven't got any solutions, just wanted you to feel somebody cares. So have a cyberhug [​IMG]
    You do need to look after yourself too, a fault of being a woman is we just keep going and going.
    Your OHs breakdown is a strain on you and you will be having to make lots of decisions on your own. Watching someone else suffer is often worse than suffering yourself. (I know watching my Mother with Alzheimers is certainly taking it's toll on me.) If like me you don't want to go on tranquilisers (and you'd be surprised just how many teachers are), do go and see you doctor.There are alternatives and you won'tbe any use to OH, children or school if it gets to you.
  3. jonowen

    jonowen Occasional commenter

    Hi Vikingmaid, your family are no.1 priority - I know your A-level students need you but in a few years' time they will no longer be in your life - your family is there for ever and will always need you (maybe not as much but you know what I mean!)
    Could you put together a list of on-line resources for your students to work through? Independent study is very good for senior pupils and a real prep. for uni or beyond. I teach in a very remote school and we usually have several snow-days off in the winter. As a result I prepare homework workbooks well in advance and in recent years have found the computer a fantastic resource.
    As for ADs, I was down that route after baby no.2 and that saved me,but I hoped to never need ADs again; recently I've felt very sad, tearful and just down (my brother has primary MS and very poorly just now, my very elderly Mum-in-law has dementia and is in and out of hospital.....and school and strikes.....life is not good) so I'm giving myself till next week and if I'm no brighter I'm going to my GP to ask for ADs, as I can no longer cope. Maybe you need to ask for help too - your family need a healthy loving Mum (and wife).
    Hope you feel better soon, take care
    Joni xx
  4. Cant your partner take a day off? Men have exactly the same entitlements as women in relation to caring.for dependents. The fact he has had some time off due to ill health is a separate issue.
  5. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    Brettgirl - I think vikingmaid's partner is just managing to get back to school but is in no fit state to do much more, that's part of the problem.
  6. Thank you so much for your cyberhugs, it's so nice to have you all to turn to. Ruthie66 is right I can't turn to O/H at the moment as he is only just coping with his issues and still under the mental health team. I have had to protect kids from seeing their farther sectioned and all the drama that has gone on in the last few months. Have coped well but now feeling both physically and emotionally drained. As with mainly mental health problems people are less understanding how it effects all concerned. If i had told my school he had had a heart attack I would get a bit more support.
    I think the task of holding a couple of P/T teaching jobs, 2 kids, an ill husband and huge debt is taking its toll. I went down the AD route after baby no. 2 as well and thoght I know they can help, I can't be zoned out while they settle as that leaves no one else to look after the kids. Will try and hold on until Xmas and hope the new year is brighter.
  7. jonowen

    jonowen Occasional commenter

    Hi again
    I think that some ADs are more worker-friendly now and don't cause the daze we both know of. We too were 100s of miles from family and the friends we did have all had family around them so I know how it feels to be completely alone. I confided in one true friend who babysat, listened, advised and helped me to feel better - can you find time to get a GP appointment and maybe get help?
    sometimes there is more understanding out there than we think? Right now it all seems bleak but is there a trusted colleague you can lean on for support?

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