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how important is it for children to like you?

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by lillipad, Apr 26, 2011.

  1. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Don't worry, I once got called not only mean, but ugly too!!! By a child i'd never even taught!
    This same child spread rumours that I was really strict and was going to be teaching *gasp* year 6 next year!!

    After speaking to said child, and terrifying them even more no doubt, I decided that actually kids just love to wind eachother up and will copy what each other say!

    I don't think it's unreasonable to expect older children to sit nicely and quietly when you are talking and also to have expectations of how much work should be done. In my experience this is a lot harder when you are a supply teacher as there will always be children who think "woo hoo supply teacher, easy day!!"
  2. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    It is not your job to be 'liked' by the children.
    You are the adult, they are the children. You are there to teach them, to do a job, not to be liked by them or be their 'mate'.
  3. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I agree with other people, you are employed to be their teacher. Being liked is a bonus, but not neccessary!
  4. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    You say that, but then on the other hand, children generally work well for you and behave if they like you.... in my experience. Plus, I know that people on this forum may be supply teachers, but I still think there needs to be the element of a positive relationship (Which essentially stems from them liking you) which is so vital in pastoral support, even if you're only there ever so often!
  5. I agree that it isn't necessary, but it gives a good start to the day if they are pleased to see you.
  6. Ill-mannered comments from children say more about them and the school, than they do about you. My advice is to ignore them.

    It is not unreasonable for children to accept simple rules and the school to support you. The trouble is, in these permissive, politically-correct times, children and schools have no intention of being reasonable.

  7. Generally - the kids who are doing what they should be doing like me... the ones who aren't - don't.
    And being honest - I couldn't give a stuff if the ones who are misbehaving don't like me - because generally they don't like me because I'm stopping them doing what they want to be doing that will disrupt everyone else.
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    If I'm only falling out with the children whom the permanent staff fall out with then I don't let any comments about 'mean' (or worse) bother me in the slightest. Comments like that are usually made by the idle sods who don't like being told to get on with it, or the insecure ones who can't handle change. The majority are more than happy to be led by an adult. If I waited until they all liked me I wouldn't get much teaching done.
  9. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Ha something happened today which made me think of this thread. From my old class (I'm now on supply) 2 kids came up to me and one of them said "I've got something to tell you... so and so said she hates you." To which I laughed and said 'oh well'- yet I feel slightly hurt by it?!
  10. lol harry.
    I agree, I do think it makes life easier if they like you and they are much more likely to behave. Plus, I got into teaching because I like children and I think it's important to have a relationship with them when you are a teacher. I guess though it's one of the downsides to supply, you aren't going to get as good a relationship with them as the class teacher. But having seen some teachers teach over the years, and only this morning, I can't say I remember the actual teachers relationship with the kids being any extraordinary.
    Perhaps I am being too sensitive but it does effect me, I can't help it. Then I think maybe I shouldn't be in teaching because they kids don't like me. Guess you can't please everyone all of the time as one boy in my class (who i taught yesterday for the first time) said 'yes!' when I said I wouldn't be in this afternoon but then two more came up and said they wished I was teaching them this afternoon. I guess opinions vary so much not all of them are always going to like you-it would be nice though!
  11. Quite a lot of the time it's just button pushing for a reaction (look at how the usual suspects will yell and screech at their parents and throw the "I hate you" line in to deadly effect), and once you accept it as such - the sting of it is much much reduced.
  12. Wether they like you are not, is for you to judge. They will play adults off against eachother the same way they will play their parents off against eachother.
    So I would take a comment like we like you or hate you with a pinch of salt from children.
    If you get a sincere card from the children well that is a big like you bonus. Almost as good as a good pay rate from an agency.
    Having a fluffy moment, I was teaching at christmas two year ago and a yr 7 class who did not know me that well, Wrote nice comments wishing me a nice christmas on the chrismas cards we designed No felts and some good graphics.
    It made me feel good, and I hung them on my wall. I was feeling lonely that christmas and their little comments gave me a sense of worth.
    If they hate you they will probably not say it, but they will show you in no uncertain terms!
    Back to the Jobcentre and forgive my fluffy moment!


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