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How far do we (should we?) trust our doctor (doctors?).

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Mathsteach2, Nov 22, 2019.

  1. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    Throughout my life I have believed in having a family GP. If my own doctor refers me to a specialist I extend my trust to any of those specialists because they have been referenced by my own doctor, who knows me and my family, perhaps over the years.
    Is this an old-fashioned idea, or in this day and age of corruption, greed and self-angrandisement trust no-one, just go back to home remedies and/or trust in God?
  2. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    I would opine that going back to home remedies and/or trust in God is an old fashioned idea.
    border_walker likes this.
  3. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    My sentiment entirely @nomad, and yet millions of people go in for acupuncture or faith healing etc. and say if you have faith they do work, not to mention the billions spent on alternative health remedies, vitamins etc.
  4. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    There is no scientific proof that the meridians or acupuncture points exist, and it is hard to prove that they either do or do not, but numerous studies suggest that acupuncture works for some conditions.

    As for faith, it is well birthday one's attitude and demeanour to an illness has an impact on the ability to recover.

    There are a large number of ridiculous 'healing' therapies which have no effect whatsoever.
    TheoGriff likes this.
  5. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    Coming back to my OP then, how far do we trust mainstream medical science, and in particular our own GP? This is really the old-fashioned idea to which I was referring not the absurd (?) dependence on alternative medicine. In my experience in recent years, it appears most medical practitioners are in it for the money, not for the care of their patients.
  6. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    Too much of a generalisation for me @Mathsteach2. Just as in teaching there would be a few folk I wouldn't have wanted teaching my kids.... there will be a few medical professionals one wouldn't maybe chose. I hope that isn't the case re your GP.
    There is something a little King Canute ish about trusting to luck, God, placebos, quack medicine, or cure alls.
    I think generally we can tell when a medical procedure, medical advice etc suggested is what we need to do. If not seek a 2nd opinion.
    Hope you are generally doing OK.
  7. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    GPs vary enormously.

    They are bound, as generalists, to know little about some things and more about others. That will depend on their experience, their interests, their attitudes and beliefs.

    A GP in a mining area will be able to spot the signs of pneumoconiosis more quickly than a doctor from a genteel spa town. A doctor who has just happened to have recent experience of an ovarian cancer patient is likely to spot those symptoms in another sufferer. Experience.

    A GP who has always had an interest in paediatrics will be quicker on the uptake when it comes to the ailments of a child. Interest.

    A GP who is something of a misogynist may be more likely to attribute a woman's symptoms to depression, ageing and hormones. Attitude.

    @HelenREMfan is right. They vary. They also make mistakes sometimes.

    Trust them? Due diligence. Do your own research too. GPs simply can't diagnose everything all the time AND in good time. If you've lost faith in your doctor? Look elsewhere. Maybe you have a complex problem that has your doctor baffled. More likely, at your age, a number of issues. Sometimes the treatment for one actually exacerbates one of the other conditions.

    Revert to home remedies if you think it best but God isn't going to grant you eternal life. Not on this planet anyway. Not in your current form. God, if there is a God, works through the hands of woman and man. And it is not given to any of us to give you perfect health, I'm afraid.
  8. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    Thank you for enquiring about my own health, in response to my long thread about myself. I will up that thread when I have some news, good or bad. Medically things are very quiet, I feel I am not getting the support I need apart from my wife, and she does far too much, but it all comes back to money to which I have already referred in this thread.
    We are turning to alternative therapies because of our distrust of those who do (pretend?) to help, and our near dismay at the quality of NHS care here in Barbados. Most of our family and friends, and TV programmes, say just trust in God.
    Second opinions can be good, or at least food for thought, but we feel we need to go deep into the motives of nearly everyone.
    The generalisation was deliberate. Could more be done at a political level to discourage people from wasting their money on alternatives? It seems they have more money than sense but that seems to be the way of the world. Spend, spend, spend and to hell with the consequences.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Can't you just accept that not everyone has venal motives? They can lack competence. They maybe haven't kept up to date with the latest research. That doesn't make them mercenary.

    Pretend to help? Delve into their motives? Does this doctor of yours live in a swanky mansion? Perhaps he's just ageing too and struggling to keep abreast of latest developments. Greedy? For expecting to be paid for his labours?

    I understand that you are dissatisfied but I don't know why you should impugn their integrity. It's far more likely to be a much more innocent explanation. They simply don't really know or they fear that your outlook is poor but they dare not tell you. Why dare they not tell you? Well, that'd be tantamount to saying God isn't going to work a miracle on you. That all those prayers aren't going to result in a cure and a better quality of life. That your community is "failing" or "insufficiently devout". They can't admit THAT. The scientist part of your doctor knows this (perhaps) but he won't be honest. He can't. The church community has to maintain the (in my view) fiction that you can be cured.

    Perhaps you can ask for prayers to ease your passing? For die you shall and must. As must I. Change the focus of prayer. Ask your community to pray for your comfort. Shift the focus. I don't know what you have but your quality of life is so poor you've contemplated suicide. You're in pain. Your lack of mobility won't help your internal organs or your musculature. Nothing, you say, is going right for you. Pray for peace, pray for something realistic. You're a mathematician. Do the sums. Are you going to become a centenarian? Is that your ambition? Sounds unlikely. Not a centenarian in good health anyway. Not a happy centenarian.

    I certainly won't make it. I've ovarian cancer at the age of 64. I'll be delighted if I get to 70. The maths is against it, for sure.

    You need strong meds for your disordered thinking. A few days ago we had suicide. Now you've lurched towards ditching the doc and going with green tea and coriander or something! Oh, and the paranoia and distrust of your close associates. You need help from someone with your mental state. Please attend to it.
  10. towncryer

    towncryer Lead commenter

    Very well and bravely said Grumpy.
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Thank you @towncryer

    I am just so saddened by the plight of our Bajan colleague. He is clearly in the direst of straits. To see the world around you in such negative terms and be able to take no pleasure in anything save the existence of your wife is tragic to behold. To look at your fellow human being and see only greed and sinister motives? That's desperately unhealthy and bad for the soul/spirit/mind/mental health. Call it what you may.

    I don't know how he lives like this. Clearly he is barely succeeding. I am so sorry @Mathsteach2 but I don't see my fellow woman or man as you do and I don't want to. Surely you can't always have felt like this. You've changed. The world hasn't. Most people are basically decent. Those nurses I deal with day after day? Doing unpaid overtime? Those volunteers who are helping me with my current needs? VOLUNTEERS! You can't have taught for years without meeting other altruistic people. You must have mixed with decent folk.

    You're ailing, you're ageing, you're bitter, you're resentful. The improvement you sought hasn't materialised. Don't take it out on other people. They are largely as good and kind and well-intentioned (though imperfect) as ever they were. You've changed. They haven't. You've become horribly jaundiced. I'm afraid you need to change. Nothing anyone says here seems to help you much. Yes, you are going to have to have a whip-round to help pay for counselling or a psychiatrist. Which won't be easy as your closest connections probably don't believe in that. The power of prayer will save you. It isn't though.
  12. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    I am so pleased to have access to this forum, and especially to thank @grumpydogwoman for posting the latest, not just supportive, but inspirational posts. Also they are so very true, but I cannot go into further details, which are there and very significant.
    I intend to pursue the recommendation to go onto stronger medications, both for pain and depression, but my doctor may well be accurately described by grumps, and I may well have to look for second opinions. This conversation should well be placed in my thread about my depression, but I can fully understand why it is occurring here. grumps is spot on, I do hope I am not causing offence by my abbreviation of the username.
    I am able to say we have found a very good neighbour. She dresses my ankle every other day, and volunteers to do much more besides. My wife and myself have welcomed her as a member of our family, none of those who have the youth and capability do the same. She calls me uncle, and we call her by her first name.
    I have always had faith in people, grumps is quite correct, I have changed. This forum is helping me to hold on.
    emerald52 likes this.
  13. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    You call me what you want, chick! That's fine!

    Ah, the good neighbour. I'm sure you've been a good neighbour in your time.

    Hold on. We need you. You're an interesting chap.
    emerald52 and Mathsteach2 like this.
  14. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I'm glad you are sounding more positive mathsteach and your neighbour sounds great. You face challenges with your health and financially but do keep looking for answers that have evidence rather than just faith to support. Your faith can add a layer of support for you but be wary of withdrawing from mainstream medicine.
  15. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    Reading through this thread I realise I have given the impression that I am not happy with my present doctor. This is not true, he is one of the few people I do trust. He is a nephew and a good Christian man (SDA), works voluntarily with homeless people, and would prefer not to accept payment from his own family nor even his Church family. We try to give him something.
    Inevitably he is extremely busy and he may not see me as a priority, and may also feel that I could/should do more for myself. I wish (and pray) that I could. I do hope he puts me on stronger medication, otherwise I only have my wife, my neighbour, one or two other supportive family members but they have their own commitments, and God.
  16. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Never mind hoping. You need to be pretty insistent at this point. But I fear that his faith may just inspire him to tell you to pray harder! You'll have to admit that your prayers might carry more weight if you had a bit of pharmaceutical support behind you. You'll be able to pray "harder". You're a scientist and mathematician and the stats are persuasive. Nay, conclusive. People with your various ills do better on .... well, look it up for yourself!

    Priority? Yes, I fear that, as we age, our physicians do face a dilemma. There's a young woman struggling with high blood pressure in pregnancy. A child with epilepsy. A working woman whose worn hips mean she can't do her cleaning job any more. An ageing gentleman whom your doctor sees perhaps as not committing to his physio/chair exercises. I don't know.

    Fact is that you're not happy overall. But encouraging that you are starting to see some good in people. Laughter is good medicine. Do you watch TV? Can you watch comedy online?
    Mathsteach2 likes this.
  17. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    When I am on a bit more of an up, which is very rare at the moment, I can watch a bit of sports (those I like and used to play), and I watch the news every day with my wife. The news is usually depressing, the good news barely touches me. Anyway, I am trying, very trying my wife says sometimes. I seriously pull her down, I do not know how she puts up with me, except that I know she loves me.
    emerald52 likes this.
  18. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    To be loved by your wife is the greatest gift of all. Tell her frequently how much she means to you. Watch happy and uplifting films instead of the news, listen to music and audio books. Think back on lovely memories.
    Mathsteach2 likes this.
  19. Mathsteach2

    Mathsteach2 Established commenter

    I believe this thread can be finished, as I have gained the general opinion here, which I completely agree with, that I should not give up on mainstream medical science, and only use alternatives, even prayer, as back-ups. As I have already explained, I am not yet giving up on my present doctor, but I do need a consultation with him. I am therefore transferring this discussion concerning my health back to my thread concerning my depression, and then contemplated suicide. God bless.
  20. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    How's your god with suicide? Catholicism, which I had imposed on me, takes a dim view.

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