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How easy it is to ruin a life.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by ilovepoppies, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. casper

    casper New commenter

    Good morning Poppy, I hope you are ok too.

    Take care
  2. casper

    casper New commenter

    There are some schools who clearly make it up as they go along,
  3. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    I hope you are out enjoying the lovely sunshine today Poppy.
  4. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Please don't get me wrong, I fully support the need to safeguard children and recognise that even the guilty will plead their innocence.
    Any staff who have ever worked with me will know this allegation cannot be true. There was no need for me to be physically removed from the school premises. I believe as part of my human rights, I should know what the allegation is and when the incident/s took place, without necessarily having the child/ren named.
    I have received correspondence telling me the possible consequences of my 'behaviour' but no evidence as to what my 'behaviour' entailed. I have also been informed that, even if unfounded, the investigation will remain on my record and that of all the external agencies, until I reach retirement age! How can that be? Even if found innocent, I'll still be classed as guilty!
    On a positive note, my medication is slowly kicking in. I'm going to put up the fight of my life, I no longer have the urge to shave off my hair and I really appreciate every word of kindness and support that everyone on this thread, my friends and family have given me. Thank you is not nearly enough, but comes from the bottom of my heart.
  5. GeeMarie

    GeeMarie New commenter

    Just read through the posts on here, and although I cannot add anything advice-wise, I just wanted to say that I'm glad your pills are starting to kick in, and I really, really hope you get the justice you deserve!
    Same goes for the other poster (I'm so sorry, I can't remember your name offhand, I've been skimming through to make sure Poppy is OK), I really hope you win your fight!
    Good luck, my thoughts are with you! x
  6. Hi Poppy
    I'm really pleased that your pills have started to take effect and that you are starting to turn the corner - keep with it, it will get better. Have your union got involved to find out what the allegations are yet? Sometimes they need pushing, especially if you are not well as they are wary of adding to your stress. However, you do need to make sure that they know that it is the unknown that is causing you the stress and that you will feel better when you know what you are fighting.
    Good luck, keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. xxx
  7. I am glad that you are feeling better, today. Is it the school, which is telling you that the investigation against you will remain on your internal record, as well as external agencies? If so, I would take this with a pinch of salt, as this is possibly part of a 'softening up' process, hoping you will resign. You know how it goes: you get threatened with all sorts, so that when the school offers you a 'way 'out', you are more likely to go for it. Were any of these 'outside agencies' named? I would think that unless the school have some pretty strong evidence and a good case, it would by shy of inviting scrutiny from outside. If there was good evidence of to support a child protection isssue, you would have heard from the police by now.
  8. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    If you are proved guilty of committing an offence against a minor, this is never 'spent' and will always appear on CRB checks.
    When there is a CP issue which has been reported to the LADO, a case conference is held and the police are contacted after that. So police involvement depends to some extent on when the LA Safegaurding meeting takes place.
  9. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    Hi Poppy
    Pleased to hear that you are feeling a bit better and that you are a bit stronger to face your challenge.
    I hope that you get justice; it is not right that you should suffer in this way. I do not know a lot about unions and their involvement although many on these boards do. You do, however, need legal advice and hopefully your union will be able to provide that in some form or point you to where you can get it.
    Stay strong... we are all thinking of you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. casper

    casper New commenter

    Suspension from work
    While the disciplinary or dismissal issue is being looked into, your employer may be able to suspend you. You should be told why you are being suspended.

    This is copy pasted from the Direct Gov site. is this any different if you are a teacher ???
  11. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Hi Casper, I do know the issue, but not what I've done. These have been the longest two weeks of my life. I visited a local shop on my own today, I felt rude not being able to make eye contact with the lady at the till. I hung my head, as if in shame. I wish this internal shaking would stop.
  12. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    It will. You will be ok. I'm still anxious over what happened to me, but I am determined. You wil be ok too. Xox
  13. Dear Poppy,
    I felt compelled to create a new ID in order to post this (afraid of being recognised). I was in your position a few years ago. Called into the head's office to be told an allegation had been placed against me and due to the nature of the allegation I was not to return to work the following day and not to be told anything about the allegation. I was not suspended but placed on garden leave, it took two weeks until I was suspended and at that point I was allowed to be informed of the allegation. I was informed by my union that only at the point of suspension was I allowed to be informed. Are you on garden leave or have you been suspended by your school - received a suspension letter, handed back keys and ID etc?

    Those two weeks were utterly traumatic, I know exactly what you are going through. I was in a supermarket one day when I burst into tears and spilt the contents of my basket everywhere. It was at that point I telephoned my school to tell them I wasn't coping and wanted to know what support they were going to put in place for me - duty of care etc. Through the borough HR I was offered counselling sessions. They really helped, the counsellor helped me to get angry and not be a victim. We set out what I should do next - using my anger positively.

    If I could give you advice it would be to start with small steps. Each evening write a list of things to do the next day, you must keep busy or the dark thoughts creep in. Do not wait to be given information - be proactive and inform yourself. Another poster said knowledge is power and that is so true. When you are finally informed of the allegation you will be called in for an investigatory meeting where you will finally have your chance to defend yourself and you will want to be prepared and know your rights.

    The two week delay in me finding out about the allegation was due to the multi agency meeting that need to be held in order to decide whether an allegation should be investigated or not. It took time for the police, LADO and school to meet then do their own probing and meet again to decide whether to investigate. If the police do not want to investigate it then it is passed to the local authority to investigate, if they do not then it is passed back to the school to deal with.

    Thankfully the police and social services passed it back to the school but having to wait at home for two weeks panicking each time the phone rings, doorbell goes or postman calls is destroying. Do not look at the delay as a sign that something terrible is going to happen. It may be a case of a delayed meeting. My school found no case to answer after interviewing witnesses in the classroom and I returned to work three weeks after being asked to leave.

    The allegation placed against me was ridiculous, when I returned back to school I noticed the head started dropping little snide remarks - some related to me needing counselling. I fought him and won. Firstly I called a union meeting and informed the staff about what happened. The more people who know the harder it is for a bully to win. It was great to see the head panic about people having a meeting to discuss him and he was not allowed to attend! Now he knows what it feels like.

    I was informed that the allegation would be held by the LADO in case a pattern builds in my behaviour - despite being found completely innocent! I was also told by HR that it would need to be referred to in any reference. I went to my MP who wrote a letter to HR and the head rubbishing this. It was then agreed that all paperwork and reference to this case would be scrapped. In the end my head was made to apologise to me about the way the case was handled - it was not a child protect case! Then the head vanished a month later and went on sick leave due to stress. <font size="2">I left the school for a promotion at another school. </font>

    I thought I would never get through it but day by day you will get stronger. You will find out what this is about and you will eventually have a chance to clear your name. Stay strong x
  14. Vampyria

    Vampyria New commenter

    Poppy-I'm rarely ever here these days but I wanted to add my support and sympathy.
    I hope all this mess gets sorted out for you really soon. Meanwhile, do remember you've done nothing wrong....small consolation perhaps, but in the end the truth will come out. Must be awful just waiting though.
  15. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    Hi Poppy - any progress yet? Are you managing the days any better? x
  16. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Hello everybody, I have spoken to an employment lawyer who has confirmed that everything has been handled correctly, so far. He has given me some tips for the coming months, to help with my fight. I am calmer than I was, but still deeply depressed, I'm struggling to come to terms with how somebody can act in such a callous & spiteful way towards me. My friends and family are amazing, I don't know where I'd be without them.
    My husband is taking me out on Sunday, so we can be a normal couple, enjoying a day out together. It will take every bit of strength not to panic, but for him and for us I'll do it.
    Kindest regards to all you lovely people, Poppy x
  17. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Pogues, thank you so much for your post. I have taken on board your comments and will use your tips in my fight.
  18. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    How was your weekend, Poppy? Hope you managed to relax a little and enjoy being with family.
  19. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Hi, I've had a mixed weekend, I had a massive panic attack on Saturday, which spoilt my day. Today, however, has been great. We went out for the day, miles away from where people may know me.I managed to go into a coffee shop, order drinks AND look at the person serving me! I even managed to smile. It may seem such a trivial thing, but I was me, normal, enjoying a day out with my family. I know there will still be bad days, but hopefully, my subconscience will remember today and give me the strength to face what's coming. :)
    Thank you for asking,
    Kindest regards,
    Poppy x
  20. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    Good for you, Poppy. When you have 'down' days, do keep posting and reading messages of support. Remember there's lots of understanding and sympathy for you here and some of us have gone through similar, too.

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