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How easy it is to ruin a life.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by ilovepoppies, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. casper

    casper New commenter

    I know the feeling too.
  2. I understand too, I'm hyper vigilant when I go out, anyone who suddenly appears who resembles my bully evokes the flight or fight response and one town in our county I simply cannot go to as that's where she lives. What a sad thing for a person to admit. Those carefree times with your children WILL return make sure you access all the help and support you can from friends, family and other agencies.
  3. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Just to say that I'm here too. I thought I saw my old boss today...bleurgh!
    Have you eaten the cake? Don't overdo the calories!!
  4. I have been through it all and still cannot believe or accept the level of persecution that continues to go on. NOBODY who is not proved to have done EXTREME wrong doing in teaching should be made to feel SUICIDAL, CRIMINAL, OSTRACISED and frightened of the world they live in.
    Teaching is a demanding job for dedicated professional people. Why don't they get on with creating effective schools instead of burying themselves in such trials against colleagues. These are all too often the pettiest and ultimately virtually unprovable reasons.
  5. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    Thank you for the tip about the acas code of practice. My anxiety is leading to ridiculous thoughts. I want to sit on top of a tall building and refuse to move until the allegation is presented to me. I want to run away, but know the eyes would follow me. I want to scream ' can't you see how much I'm hurting?' My friends and family and people on here have been amazing, but I hate my own company. Seven hours of solitude a day is an eternity. I'm trying to be strong, I know there are good people in my life, I want to stop drowning.
  6. So sorry to hear your story. I just wanted to say I truly feel for you right now and do take heart that you have so many friends on here. Many of us do know how much you are hurting. Please be kind to yourself. I have messaged you.
  7. snoopycat

    snoopycat New commenter

    Good morning,
    Just wanted to reassure you that you will come through this terrible ordeal. The same happened to me. I was suspended for 4 months. Spent 2 months crying, stayed in the foetal position, didn't venture outside for all of the reasons you mention. My colleagues were warned against contacting me. I started to bake! Never baked a cake in my life before that! But I needed to pass 8 hours with a challenge, using both my head & my hands. It worked, the days passed, a little information came through from those holding power and from my regional union rep, slowly but surely.
    The whole process slowed me down. I had to take on a cloak of humility and trust in a higher power to carry me through it. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't guilty. Stay with it Poppy. Don't give up. Dig your heals in, but don't expect to return to work quickly. It's red tape and a slow process. Ensure you are dealing with the best informed Union Advisor - at Regional not local level.
    One day at a time. A new cake/challenge each day. Leave the rest to a higher power.
    As others have said.....the truth will come out in the end. I'm back in my original workplace, albeit in another position and very happy having survived the experience. All the wiser for it.

  8. and you will stop feeling like that eventually although maybe its impossible to believe that at the moment...there are lots of people out there willing you to see each day through so you are not alone. The advice about regional level union support is a good one...the paid officers are so much clearer and focussed than the local reps however hard they try. Take care and take each day as it comes.
  9. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    How has today been, Poppy?
  10. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    A letter in the post has totally sent me over the edge, still no news on what I've done.
  11. Do not be worried by anything you get sent through the post; just hand it on to the Union and let them deal with it.
    I had re-convened tribunal today; picking up after having been adjourned for months. I have never done any talking; the union solicitor does that, thank goodness.
    I had a victory of sorts. The Chairman ruled that, since the school would not provide any evidence or details of what I am supposed to have done, he agreed with me that my redundancy money should be paid. However, he has given the school three months to produce firm, attested evidence. The Tribunal is also writing to the CPS for a summary of the case against me.
  12. casper

    casper New commenter

    Jenny how long has this saga been going on ??
  13. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    Wise advice. Poppy - you are in daily contact with your union rep, aren't you?
  14. Dear ilove poppies,
    This is only natural I remember every time I got another letter from my school, often by recorded delivery, I would open it with trepidation and fear. The words 'capability' and 'incompetence' would put the fear of God into me. I think that if I was really incapable or incompetent, it wouldn't have upset me so much. You know you are inocent, the powers that be or someone nasty and vndictve is hurting you at the moment. Try to be kind to yourself and switch of for a short time today. It sounds like today has been extra hard for you. Take care
  15. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    Well done for today. Another step closer. Your case is really gob-smacking! Every time I think about it, I am always stunned that the police could be behaving as they are (though as Hillsborough has sadly shown, anything is possible). It's an obvious breach of s28 PACE and Article 5 HRA!!!
  16. Jenny - I'm really pleased that you are now getting somewhere - hopefully it will be all sorted out very soon.
    Poppies - hang in there and do make sure that the union take the strain.
  17. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    I'm a horrified by what I read on threads like this. I have recently moved schools and am finding it hard to shake the fear that any second someone will bursting through my door and tell me I'm incompentent.
    I believe I'm good at what I do: even today in a year 8 lesson (a group I'd thought would be horrific to teach all year) I had a moment of "Wow, I'm good at this" whilst they all worked nicely and were actually 'getting it' and we were all peer assessing against level criteria etc (sarcastic 'Wooooo!')
    But I spent the later part of my 5 years at my previous school feel under such awful scrutiny. I always got 'Good' on lesson observations, but had some horrible times when management investigated claims made my nasty year 11 girls in my final year there. I'd done nothing wrong and wasn't suspended, but it was clear that management had a 'thing' against me....so flimsy were the accusations that I can't believe htey paid a moment's notice, but it was dragged out for weeks and nearly affected me getting my new job.
    In my new school, if still feel on tenter hooks, worried that I'll be criticised and told off for something or other. Luckily, my new school is lovely and supportive (if not a little unrealistic and insane with workload).
    But I've still frightened of situations as decribed in the OP. I'm horrified that the OP has no idea what they are uspposed to have done wrong. If you could say, "Oh yes, I remember that time I hit a student" or "Hmmm, yes I havent marked a book for months and all my class failed their exam in the summer" then you'd have a starting point! But clearly you have no tanglible reason for why you are being treated as such. And that make me feel very vulnerable indeed. Who will be next???
    To the OP: take care and really look after yourself, physically and emotionally.
    Best wishes xxx
  18. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    It's important to keep it in perspective. There are some terrible scenarios here, like Poppy's and Jenny's.
    BUT there are nearly half a million teachers in the UK, working in thousands of schools. Most never post on these forums about how much they are enjoying their work and what good Heads they work for - they are too busy just getting on with life. The horror stories you read about are a tiny proportion.
  19. That is very true - it does help to put it into some perspective. I've been reading this board for the last few days and been absolutely horrified, but as you say GL, it is still a minority of teachers that these things happen to.
  20. Just had a call from my the Union! Apparently, the school a flying the kite of a CA plus two months salary, as a final settlement. The Union thinks that they aret trying to get out of an unwinnable situation, which is good news!
    With seventeen years service at the school (and about 28, overall) on UPS 3, and being 58, I am sure this sum would be short of the redundancy money. I do not think you have to pay tax on a CA payment, but does the same apply to redundancy, now?

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