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How easy it is to ruin a life.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by ilovepoppies, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. Thanks for the support
  2. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    Dear ilovepoppies - I haven't been bullied in the workplace as an adult, but was bullied at my primary school and was in trouble because they fixed it so that I was caned for something I didn't do. It is truly traumatic and anyone who has ever been bullied must know what you a re going through. I'd love to do more to help you but giving you my prayers and support is what I'm doing and hoping that we will all hear that things have been resolved soon.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  3. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    In case she doesn't see this, @ilovepoppies started this thread more than four years ago. How time passes...

    It was resolved - eventually - and @ilovepoppies has risen...and risen...and risen from what was a truly dreadful experience.
  4. Geoff Thomas

    Geoff Thomas Star commenter

    The teacher did this to me. in 1951. I still remember.

    Not caned, but given some foul medicine, in my case.
  5. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    I hadn't realized that this thread was started so long ago. I hope that everything resolved itself and ilovepoppies is living a happier life.
    ValentinoRossi and ilovepoppies like this.
  6. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    What I think is happening is that people are looking at the 'Most Popular Threads of all Time' box on the right and not really focusing on the date it was posted.

    There's been one or two 'necro threads' in the past few days.
  7. ilovepoppies

    ilovepoppies New commenter

    I was so shocked to see my thread again.
    I am delighted to be able to say that I am still working.
    Luckily there has been a complete re-vamp of SLT and an new, acting head has replaced the chief witch.
    I won't lie, things haven't always been easy and there have been times when I wished I had quit, however, I have held my head high and soldiered on.
    I wish I had some valuable advice to offer to people living through the same kind hell, but everyone is different.
    The most important things I can say are;
    Take time to think about what you want.
    Don't be rushed into making decisions.
    Do what is right for you.
    Do ask for help on here, I met the most wonderful group of people and had my faith restored in honesty and sincerity.
    Hold your head high and take life an hour at a time, less if that's what you need.
    My best wishes for a happy New Year to you all xx
  8. cookiesandmilk

    cookiesandmilk New commenter

    Hi Poppies

    I was pointed in 'your' direction only a few days ago when someone questioned if I was you!

    Reading your opening post I could see why - I literally could have written it myself.

    I am going through the same ordeal that you did only the head who has a vendetta against me due to whistleblowing allegations that I stopped at taking further, a few years ago.

    Sadly the head has jumped onto the bandwagon of trying to discredit me and seemingly is resorting to weak, laughable 'evidence' if you can call it that.

    I fear I will be dismissed though I have been reassured that I would have grounds to appeal and then an employment tribunal.

    I did ask myself who can possibly go back to work in a place where you have been hounded out (or tried) by management? But you obviously did and I know it is possible - IF there is no case to answer, which in my case, there should be.

    I flit between wanting to leave, taking time off sick and seeing how I feel to going back and sticking two fingers up! The latter feels satisfying - looking at them as their mouths drop when I walk through the door. yeah, you THOUGHT you could get rid of cookies but I am hear to haunt you!

    Time is magnificent at allowing you to re-discover yourself and think long and hard about next steps. Sadly my next steps can only be predicted depending on the outcome, but if a return is likely or possible, I WILL NOT be there come September.

    I have already taken steps towards a different career. More hours for less money but satisfying AND I am able to see more of my brood and have a better social life.

    Life is not about money, at least for me, and with my husband's support, support of family and friends, I know that I am making the right decision to change my life path.

    Just a waiting game now to see what my fate is. In one strange way, a dismissal could be to my advantage - appeal, tribunal and possible discredit of my head teacher. The head is known for 'their' comments about choosing staff and ridding the school of UPS. It has been many times. But I want the ball to stop with me. No more.
  9. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    Hello @ilovepoppies ! Here's wishing you a very positive and happy 2017.

    Val xxx
  10. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Seconded! :)
  11. fishtoe

    fishtoe New commenter

    Wow this is the thread that kept me going FOUR years ago.
    In that time I lost my job, and nearly lost my mind and contemplated loosing my life.
    I've done lots of other things - lots of voluntary work. Met some amazing people.
    Tried some other jobs and wanted to leave teaching.
    But this year I have worked every day on long term supply in an area of education that I always wanted to do but missed the chance many years ago. I am loving it.
    I am glad my life took a crazy twist. It helped me get my priorities right. Having no income for quite a while makes you realise what is important.
    I take every day as it comes and am eternally grateful that I am still here taking pleasure in the little things of life.

    Thank You Ilovepoppies for starting your thread.
    You have been an inspiration. And will forever be a reminder of life in education post 2011.
  12. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Ah, but the dear little psychos all demonstrated real change and made startling new decisions, so that's ok. Kids are dispensable rubbish to milk for profit and then discard. Aren't they?
  13. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    I think it is good to resurrect the 'necro threads' because frankly the rot which started back in 2011 is now reaching its highest level and it might help teachers to see that the issues facing them now have history. I've just had a thought. Scary and could be wrong, but: a perfectly nice decent teacher was picked on and suspended due to malicious safeguarding allegations. In this case, she was increasingly brave and resilient (I mean real resilient here, not the new misused version of the word) She survived and held onto the post, which is great. I wonder how many don't. I don't think I would, because to be accused of such a disgusting crime by people whose kids I had worked so hard to help, or by the kids themselves...well it would feel like the ultimate betrayal an kick in the face. A bit like how capability feels. Now a lot of the SLT encouraging this want to reduce school budgets and their number of UPS staff. I wonder if the increased amount of safeguarding which is crying wolf and wrecking teacher careers is an alternative way to thin out higher paid staff, along the same line s of jumped up capability proceedings? I wonder if some vile overpaid cost cutters in the DFE and teaching standards agency all sat down and originally thought that they sling out staff through safeguarding allegations before a lawyer pointed out the fast track capability dismissal tactic would be cheaper and more effective? Because the way teachers are treated is frighteningly similar and equally contemptible. Whether a teacher is deemed a pervert, careless or incapable, this government has ensured that all the trust and bonds between staff, parents, kids and SLT have all but dissolved. I can no linger work in schools because I cannot believe anything coming out of an SLT or DFE mouth. So that's all worked well then.
    swrd853, G&Teach, joLT and 2 others like this.
  14. freshfriesan

    freshfriesan Occasional commenter

    It's all targets statistics and image, I mean what right thinking adult is still playing games of "my schools bullies gonna beat yo school bullies"
    Mrsmumbles likes this.
  15. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    The belle ends who are now in ‘charge’, sadly. Jokers.
    MarieAnn18 and BetterNow like this.
  16. eamonne1

    eamonne1 New commenter

    go to a lawyer now! you can talk to whoever you like. an anonymous allegation is no allegation. sign off sick and refuse to answer any queries from head/ sky. i’ve lost faith in the unions.
  17. frankxwilliams

    frankxwilliams New commenter

    I wish you all the best in clearing your name.

    I happened to have a minor allegation hanging over me on my birthday this year, which allegedly came from a child telling a parent something. Lo and behold no evidence anything had happened, surprise surprise. I personally felt it was made up - head had only just arrived and wanted any excuse to appoint people they had chosen.

    Thankfully moved on after being given the [This comment/section has been removed for breaching our Community Guidelines/Terms and conditions] around regarding my contract - old head was fantastic, thought things were going great, new one had made up their mind when they started! The result of this was working somewhere for a term with a very tricky class, although not made clear at interview.

    Previous teacher had gone after a term, teacher before the same. Behaviour didn't improve - I followed school policy but once kids were suspended, there was nowhere to go, so consequences for the same behaviour became less. Shock horror, behaviour continues. Parents of those children weren't on board either which didn't help matters. I guess as the teacher it's all my fault. Nothing to do with an ineffective school system for extremely challenging behaviour.

    Now I'm paying for it with a reference which is stopping me getting work. A supply agency has also refused on this basis - I lack the skills, knowledge and experience (I've been teaching 5 years now!!!)

    Running out of options despite supply being OK at the moment and schools being happy with my work so far. Continual moans at home about money and another interview resulting in no job thanks to this reference.

    Union have been useless as ever - if it's not false, you can't do anything and obviously our gold plated headteachers are perfect.

    Looking forward to Christmas with barbed comments about a lack of money and no understanding about the mental strain this has put on me.

    I have worked mainly maternity and secondment contracts, not through choice but through necessity of income so I understand some reticence to take me on.

    But, I've taught in secondary and primary and have a lot to offer. Shame no-one is seeing that right now.
  18. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    The original post was posted over six years ago.

    The OP did fight it, and it was resolved.

    If anyone reading this is struggling with similar issues, start a new thread in WD. People are happy to listen and offer support.

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