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How do you switch off when you're worried/upset about something?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by suz3, Mar 12, 2011.

  1. What do you do when you just can't keep from dwelling on something?
    I'm sure physical exercise would help but the problem is if I went for a run my mind would wander and I'd start obsessing. The house could do with a really good clean but same problem there, my mind would be unoccupied and I'd worry.
    Reading can distract me for a while but it's not reliable. Watching TV/films doesn't work.
    Any advice?
  2. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Have you tried positive affirmations while you are out for a walk, or showering or before you go to sleep. I know they sound a bit dippy bit I think they really helped me. I saw them as a practical step forward rather than "spiritual" in any way. It might help you put your mind at rest, accept the way things are and move on in a positive way. Having anxiety going round and round your head is not good. There's lots online to look at. Hope you feel better soon.
  3. Well, last night I slept better. I had my sleepy tea and went to bed some time before midnight. I woke around 4am but had another tea ready and didn't stay awake for long.

    Today I feel calmer. I stil find it hard not to think about it but the knots in my stomach have, for now at least, gone. I still feel the odd wrench at times but the permanent knot I had the last 2 days has gone. I have also cooked and eaten properly. I'm going out for a walk later and have set the breadmaker so that I return to the smell of freshly baked bread. I'm keeping up the doses of no stress tea in the meantime. I have no idea whether it has any effect other than as a placebo, but to be honest, I don't really care how it works, so long as it makes me feel better. I think the crying yesterday has probably also helped in some way. Today I don't feel constantly on the verge of tears.

    I'm sure I'm not out of the woods yet, and there'll be more bleak moments or even bleak days to come but at least I've stopped panicking that I'm sliding into some kind of pit of depression.

    Thanks again for all your sympathy and concern.

  4. Glad you are feeling better.
    In situations such as yours, I have taught myself to not think of "what ifs" and "whys".
    Not for things that have happened. It took me years to learn this, as I like to be in control of things, but that wanting to be in control of everything led to anorexia and I swore I would never get that way again. Nowadays, I let go much sooner and, even if it is a bit of corny religious stuff, I still have this up on my pinboard (and a copy of the first verse, which many will recognise, in my purse).
    God, give us grace to accept with serenity

    the things that cannot be changed,

    Courage to change the things

    which should be changed,

    and the Wisdom to distinguish

    the one from the other.

    Living one day at a time,

    Enjoying one moment at a time,

    Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

    Taking, as Jesus did,

    This sinful world as it is,

    Not as I would have it,

    Trusting that You will make all things right,

    If I surrender to Your will,

    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

    And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

    Rheinhold Niebuhr, Serenity Prayer.

    Apart from that - I do a lot of distraction (which is not really distraction, it just calms my thoughts and makes me realise it is all not that important in the grand scheme of things).
    Things such as sleeping, cleaning, having a decluttering session, getting absorbed in a good book, going for a walk, making plans.
    Making plans is my own personal foolproof method. I cope much better if I have a plan of things to do to help me move foreward.

  5. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    A card I recieved from a wonderful colleague had a great quote:
    "One of the hardest things in life to learn is which bridge to cross, and which bridge to burn."
  6. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    For me, if I'm really bothered about something it has to be either sex or sudoku to relax.
    Sudoku seems to have just the right balance of interesting challenge and mind-numbing abstraction to get the brain idling comfortably. After a while I get relaxed enough to drop the book and pencil and settle down to sleep.
    I have nothing sensible to say about the other means of relaxing.

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