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How do you get a child who dislikes you onside?

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by Lara mfl 05, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I know it sounds odd, but would very much go in for 'kill it with kindness'.(Not literally of course)
    So in your examples, on refusing to answer the register, look up straight at the boy and say something on the lines of "Good morning xxx, I see you're here today but don't feel like answering at the moment. That's fine I'll mark you in." No further comment, though the boy might well then reply. If something rude, try to ignore or say quite calmly, "I understand you're angry/upset, but please don't use language like that/speak to me like that in my classroom." Ditto with dinner register.
    Pro-actively look for any opportunity to praise any co-operation/on task behaviour. If he's had a good lesson, praise him at the end as he leaves and say you would like to see more of the same.
    Have a place set aside for him to retreat to when troubled and take time to have a quiet word and reassure him you want to make the best of the situation.
  2. VelvetChalk

    VelvetChalk New commenter

    I second all the advice Lara has given you, you did not state his age but it might be worth talking to him alone and starting with the question 'I have noticed you are a bit upset today, is there any reason that might be?' then explain that your are here to help and lets try and work together. On a long term placement I had a child with aspergers and what I found was giving him a learning buddy (year 1) so he had someone all week to help him feel more secure. It might be worth asking others members off staff that work with him if they have had any strategies in dealing with his difficult behaviour as well.
  3. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    For one reason or another it sounds like he can't cope with a change of routine. If 'on the spectrum' means Aspergers then that can be par for the course. You also see it in very insecure kids, which is usually down to home background. In secondary I see it most in Year 9s, who can be awkward b*ggers at the best of times thanks to all the hormones and so on. This is especially so if their previous teacher has bent over backwards to be their mate rather than their teacher - it makes it bloody difficult for those of us who have to stand in when they're absent.

    Stay polite, don't treat him any differently to anyone else unless there's SEN evidence to suggest otherwise, give him exactly the same instructions as the others, offer help even if it's rejected, remember your Ps and Qs, and log all the incidents of rudeness/defiance, then no-one can say you were picking on him or neglecting him.
  4. He may just not like you. And be contrary for contrary sake. He migt senseyou are miffed from your body language. He may wanna appear "hard" in front of his mates. He may just not give a damn about school routine and the rest..might just be testing your reaction. A super cool dude.
    It is rarely personal.
    Kids are clever - they can often sense by our body language or the slight quiver in our voice or blushed cheeks whether we are aggrieved or wound up or have noticed and taken things to heart.
    He might be desperately unhappy inside. just stay calm and casual. maybe give him a job to do like to take the regster or a message to another teacher and then praise him.
    Try and find out about his interests and then have a brief chat about them with him. It is often good to get to know the kid and find out what makes them "tick".
    I had one little shi-t last year who made life tough for me. He would be the non-responder and we did not gel.Then I found out that he liked graphic novels and sci-fi art work and it just so happened that I often used a site called wickedmoon.com.
    Well, that turned the ship around. I even brought in some old Marvel DC comics for him to look at!
    And, after that, we got on okay..

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