Ok so I posted on here a few years ago now but I'm trying again to get some new advice. I graduated back in 2016 from university after a 3 year BA course. It took me 8 months before I got a part time teaching position in a local independent school literally 2 miles from my front door. I was there till the end of the school year when my contract ended. I had interviews in the lead up to me finishing to no avail. I was lucky enough that they needed some cover for a month part time as a TA and they asked me to do it in addition to offering me supply work on the odd day when staff were taking children out for fixtures. I was also lucky that a family friend but my name forward for an admin job which covered a few months. The admin job offered me a reasonable deal which I couldn't refuse - they'd let me got for interviews and take up supply work at my old school to keep my hand in till I got a full time position teaching. Finally February 2018 and a full time position came up which was fantastic. I began in Year 4 but after a few weeks the Head Teacher asked to see me and said another teacher in school was leaving as she had another job lined up and he offered me the Year 5 position. I jumped at it as it meant I had my own class. I was able to complete my NQT year with a few hiccups through the year in terms of personal situations. Though in January 2019, whilst searching online for jobs for my partner who is not a teacher, I saw a role at my school being advertised and wondered what was going on. I emailed my Head and he said as my temporary contract was coming to an end in the April, the governors had decided to advertise my role. He was happy that I wanted to apply for it but this is the only communication we had over the situation. I was shortlisted for interview along with a TA who had done who Teacher Training in the school and also knew my class well. Unfortunately, I didn't get the job again which meant leaving my class mid year. I wouldn't have felt too bad if it had gone to the TA as I knew the kids loved her and she would look after them and they would get less disruption. What compounded this is that the day of the interview was also the school disco which i was helping at and was asked to get feedback and be told during. Whilst I tried to hold my emotions walking back through as the Head and Deputy (also my NQT mentor) said i could leave knowing it had hit me hard, I had to walk through the school disco and the kids could see I was upset. Obviously I didn't want to tell them straight away and organised with the Head that i would tell them myself after the Feb half term in a way i thought they could deal with. Unfortunately, mother nature happened, the week i was intending to tell my class as thing had been finalised (new teacher couldn't start till May and the Head was going to cover the class for 6 weeks, I was struck down with two migraines, one i was taken to hospital in an ambulance and the second my parents refused an ambulance because they could get me there quicker and I was slumped over them with them barely being able to support me in A&E. After a full week off, I catch up on my emails to find my class had been told and some of my pupils were so upset and because of their needs had really not taken the news well. I decide that when I go back in i find out from the class what has gone on. They told me they got a letter on my first day of sickness that week from a supply teacher that they had only just met. I was fuming! but didn't feel like I had a leg to stand on. I kept myself to myself in the last few weeks of my contract and made sure my class had a good time with me and knew that it wasn't my decision ultimately. Now if you have got this far I bet you are wondering what my issue is. It is now October 2019 and I've had interviews that I can count on one hand. Yes its been Summer and I've accounted for that. But I've applied to loads of schools, and where I have had interviews there have been people there who have known the school, staff and pupils because of having been before on supply, I have just felt like it has been a waste of my time and I have been there to make the numbers up and make the schools look like equal opportunities providers. And where I have heard nothing I have emailed the schools and asked for feedback and heard nothing back. I'm not even getting emails to say my application has been received like I ask for or to say that I have been unsuccessful. I'm now at a point where with my anxiety I wonder if I'm good enough because I'm hearing nothing back and wonder if a three year course, completing my NQT year and having also done Computing leadership in that time and having had experience in an independent school too, is actually worth anything at all. Its obvious others have better applications and that is expected but I'm not getting any breakthroughs. Its making me consider a life in teaching! This may seem like a rant - it really isn't! I just want to know I'm not alone or people have had similar experiences. Or if you think that the way I was treated in my last position was just in the way that I was told.