I have to make this brief before rushing to the car to drive to school! I have had depression/anxiety on and off for a long time due to past family issues. Over the summer I had some challenges in my marriage which set off my anxiety again. Top this off with starting my NQT year this year and I am a crying, emotional rollercoaster. I just don't know if I want to teach anymore, all summer I thought it was just nerves but I have seen a job (on same pay) where I would only have to work 32 hours a week, and still with children in a 1:1/small group capacity across my county and just feel like I would rather be doing that. None of this racking my brains for creative ideas, no weekends panicking about whether I have done everything or forgotten something... But I am so afraid of others judgement, telling the school if I have an interview, telling my family and husband all these years I have put aside to train and I end up quitting in the first term! I don't even know what notice period I would need, and now I am talking about leaving I am crying again over fears of what everyone would say about me jacking it all in... I am so confused, I enjoyed my first week but I just don't want to spend my life teaching. When I am anxious any responsibility is hard, and this other job I have seen just takes away some of the weight on your shoulders you have as a teacher and I think the only saving grace is I wouldn't be able to do it if I wasnt a teacher...so I'm not entirely wasting my degree and PGCE. I don't know what to do, I just don't think I want to be in a school - I don't feel comfortable, the endless meetings, demands for certain colour pens for marking and the progress of a class on my shoulders. I want to apply for this other job, but not inform my school I am doing so - or do I just go to my head and explain that actually, I am suffering with anxiety (it's not wholly work related - it actually stems from personal life) and then what?